10 lessons from the Stoics that will help anyone feeling lost in life

If you’re a regular reader here at The Stoic Mindset, you already know how deeply Stoicism has shaped my life. It’s more than just a philosophy for me; it’s a way of living that has guided me through both the highs and lows.

Today, I want to share with you 10 of the most profound lessons I’ve learned from the Stoics. These insights have been invaluable in helping me find direction and clarity, especially during times when I felt utterly lost.

My hope is that they will offer you the same guidance and comfort that they’ve provided me.

Let’s dive in.

01 Recognize what you  can control

One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned from Stoicism is the importance of distinguishing between what is within our control and what is not.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by life’s challenges, especially when we try to manage things that are simply beyond our influence. The Stoic philosopher Epictetus put it plainly: “Of all existing things, some are in our power, and others are not in our power.” (The Discourses of Epictetus, 1916)

This idea was a game-changer for me. I realized that much of my anxiety stemmed from trying to control external events—other people’s actions, outcomes of situations, even the weather!

But the truth is, all we can really control are our own thoughts, actions, and reactions. Once I started focusing on what I could control, I found a profound sense of peace.

For anyone feeling lost, this distinction can be incredibly liberating. By letting go of the need to control the uncontrollable, you free yourself to focus on what truly matters: your own response to the world. 

02 Live according to your values

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself if the life you’re living aligns with your core values?

It’s a question that the Stoics believed was essential to finding true fulfillment. For them, living in accordance with one’s values was the cornerstone of a meaningful life.

Seneca reminds us, “The true felicity of life is to be free from perturbations, to understand our duties towards God and man: to enjoy the present without any anxious dependence upon the future.” (Seneca’s Morals, 1882)

This idea made me realize that much of my dissatisfaction came from pursuing goals that weren’t truly mine, but rather shaped by external pressures and societal expectations.

When I started to reflect on what really mattered to me—integrity, kindness, personal growth—I noticed a shift. My decisions became clearer, my actions more deliberate. Instead of feeling lost, I began to feel grounded in a life that was genuinely mine.

If you’re feeling adrift, take some time to reconnect with your values. What principles guide your decisions? Are your daily actions reflecting those principles?

By aligning your life with your values, you create a strong foundation that can withstand the inevitable storms of life.

03 Life is happening now 

How often do you find yourself dwelling on the past or worrying about the future?

It’s something we all do, but the Stoics teach us that the present moment is all we truly have. Marcus Aurelius reminds us, “Each of us lives only in the present, this brief moment; the rest is either a life that is past or an uncertain future.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

This was a hard lesson for me to internalize, but once I did, it was transformative. I realized that constantly rehashing past mistakes or anxiously anticipating what might go wrong in the future was robbing me of the peace and clarity that can only be found in the here and now.

Focusing on the present doesn’t mean ignoring the past or future; it means not letting them control your life. When I started practicing this, I noticed how much more connected I felt to my daily experiences. I became more engaged in conversations, more appreciative of simple joys, and less stressed about things I couldn’t change.

Feeling lost? Try anchoring yourself in the present moment. Pay attention to where you are, what you’re doing, and who you’re with. This simple shift in focus can bring a sense of calm and clarity that helps you navigate even the most uncertain times.

04 We make mistakes; the important thing is we keep going

“Don’t be disgusted, don’t give up, don’t be impatient if you do not carry out entirely conduct based in every detail upon right principles; but after a fall return again.” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

Life is full of setbacks, and the Stoics understood this better than anyone. Marcus Aurelius’s advice to not be discouraged by failures resonates deeply, especially in those moments when everything seems to go wrong.

For a long time, I struggled with perfectionism, often feeling crushed by even the smallest mistakes.

But this quote taught me the value of perseverance. The Stoics believed that falling short wasn’t the problem; staying down was. They emphasized that our true strength lies in our ability to pick ourselves up, learn from our experiences, and keep moving forward.

05 Focus on your reactions to events, not the events themselves

This is a big one. The Stoics taught that while we can’t control what happens to us, we can always control how we react to it.

Epictetus put it perfectly: “What disturbs men’s minds is not events but their judgments on events.” (The Discourses of Epictetus , 1916)

This insight has been a game-changer in my life.

For a long time, I let external events dictate my mood and well-being. If something went wrong at work, I’d carry that frustration with me all day. But once I started practicing the Stoic principle of focusing on my reactions, everything changed. I realized that it wasn’t the events themselves that caused my distress—it was my interpretation of them.

By shifting my focus from what happens to how I respond, I gained a sense of empowerment and emotional resilience. This mindset has allowed me to navigate challenges with a clearer head and a calmer heart.

06 Give thanks

Gratitude is a cornerstone of Stoic philosophy, and incorporating it into my daily routine has had a profound impact on my outlook.

As Seneca wisely noted, “We live unthankfully in this world… whereas we should be grateful for the blessings we have enjoyed.” (Seneca’s Morals, 1882)

For a long time, I found myself focusing on what was missing from my life—what I lacked, what didn’t go as planned, or what challenges lay ahead. Sound familiar?

The Stoics teach us to shift our attention to what we already have, recognizing the abundance that surrounds us, even in difficult times.

Every day, I make it a habit to reflect on the things I’m grateful for, no matter how small they might seem. 

If you’re feeling lost, cultivating gratitude can be a powerful tool to ground yourself and reconnect with what truly matters. By appreciating what you have, you open the door to greater happiness and peace, regardless of the external circumstances.

07 The power of reflection

 Marcus Aurelius, one of the most powerful men of his time, would end his day with a reflection on his thoughts and actions, asking himself where he succeeded and where he fell short.

For me, this practice has been a game-changer. Taking just a few minutes at the end of each day to review what I did well and what I could improve has brought incredible clarity and self-awareness. It’s not about beating myself up over mistakes, but about learning from them and striving to be better the next day.

Modern experts support what the Stoics knew all along—regular reflection can increase self-awareness, give a sense of greater self-control, and improve decision-making.

It’s a simple yet powerful way to stay aligned with your values and goals and to continue growing in the right direction.

08 Embrace change as a constant

Change is one of life’s few certainties, and the Stoics understood this deeply.

Marcus Aurelius reminded us, “Is it change that a man fears? Why what can have come to be without change and what is dearer or more familiar to Universal Nature?” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

The lesson? Well, for me, it’s to view change not as something to resist, but as an inevitable and even necessary part of life.

For a long time, I struggled with change. Whether it was a shift in my career, the end of a relationship, or even just moving to a new city, I found myself clinging to the familiar, fearing the unknown.

But the Stoics teach us that resisting change is futile and only leads to suffering. Instead, they advocate for embracing change as part of the natural order of things.

Once I started to see change as an opportunity for growth rather than something to fear, I felt more at peace with life’s unpredictability. 

Change is not your enemy—it’s your teacher. Embrace it, learn from it, and allow it to guide you toward new paths and possibilities. In accepting change, you open yourself up to the richness and diversity of life’s experiences.

09 Remember that life is finite (Memento Mori)

The Stoics were never shy about confronting the reality of death, and they believed that regularly reflecting on our mortality—known as memento mori—was essential to living a meaningful life.

As Marcus Aurelius put it, “You may depart from life at once; act and speak and think in every case accordingly.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

This concept might seem morbid at first, but for the Stoics, it was a powerful reminder to live fully and intentionally. Recognizing that our time is limited can motivate us to focus on what truly matters, to let go of trivial concerns, and to appreciate each moment we have.

In my own life, embracing memento mori has helped me put things into perspective. When I find myself caught up in petty worries or procrastination, I remind myself that life is short and uncertain. This realization pushes me to act with urgency and to prioritize what’s important—relationships, personal growth, and meaningful work.

10 Seek inner peace over external approval

Last but perhaps most importantly, the Stoics teach us to seek inner peace rather than chasing external approval.

In a world that constantly pushes us to seek validation from others—whether through social media, career success, or material possessions—the Stoic philosophy offers a refreshing counterpoint. 

For years, I found myself caught in the trap of trying to please others, measuring my worth by how I was perceived. But the more I pursued external approval, the more disconnected I felt from myself.

The Stoics remind us that true peace and contentment come from within, not from the fleeting opinions of others.

By shifting my focus inward, I began to cultivate a sense of self-worth that wasn’t dependent on external factors. This doesn’t mean ignoring others or living in isolation; rather, it means not letting their opinions dictate your sense of self. When you seek inner peace, you free yourself from the constant pressure to conform and please everyone around you.

Consider where you’re placing your value. Are you living for yourself or for the approval of others? By seeking inner peace and aligning your actions with your true values, you’ll find a deeper, more lasting sense of fulfillment that no external validation can ever provide.

The bottom line 

Incorporating these Stoic lessons into your life can be transformative, helping you find clarity and purpose even in the most challenging times. But Stoicism is a journey, and there’s always more to learn. What lessons have you gained from Stoicism? I’d love to hear your thoughts—share them in the comments below.

If you found these insights helpful, don’t forget to sign up for our newsletter to receive more Stoic wisdom directly in your inbox. Let’s continue growing together.

What would Marcus Aurelius say?

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Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.

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