Stoicism is a philosophy of life, a toolkit if you will, that many people discover too late. It’s not about being emotionless, but mastering your responses to life’s ups and downs.
Often, we stumble upon these stoic lessons later in life, usually after going through hard times. But wouldn’t it be wiser to learn these lessons before we’re in the thick of it?
In this article, I’m going to share the top 10 stoic lessons that people often learn too late. My hope is that they’ll help you navigate life with more resilience and clarity – starting today.
1) Acceptance is the key
Stoicism teaches us the importance of acceptance. It’s a lesson we often resist until later in life, when we’ve been through enough to understand its value.
Life is unpredictable, and we don’t always have control over what happens to us. But what we do have control over is how we respond to these events.
We can spend our energy fighting against what’s already happened, or we can accept it and move on. This doesn’t mean we have to be happy about it or that it’s a good thing. It simply means acknowledging the reality of the situation.
Acceptance can be a hard pill to swallow, but once we do, it frees up our energy to focus on things we can actually change. A stoic knows that acceptance isn’t about giving up, but about understanding where our power truly lies.
2) Detachment from material possessions
Stoicism teaches us not to place our happiness in external things. It’s a lesson I learned the hard way.
I recall a time when I bought a brand new car, after months of hard work and saving. I felt on top of the world, until one day, an unfortunate accident left it severely damaged. I was crushed.
What I realized then was how much of my happiness was tied to that car. It wasn’t just a mode of transport, but a status symbol, a source of pride.
Stoicism taught me to find joy in things that can’t be taken away – my values, my growth, my relationships. It’s not about rejecting material possessions, but about understanding that they are transient and should not be the foundation of our happiness.
3) The power of perspective
The way we perceive things plays a huge role in how we react to them. Stoicism teaches us to shift our perspective and see things as they truly are, not as we feel they should be.
Here’s something intriguing. The ancient Stoics practiced a technique known as ‘negative visualization’. They would regularly contemplate worst-case scenarios in order to become mentally prepared for any situation that life could throw at them.
This doesn’t mean being pessimistic but rather having a realistic understanding of potential outcomes. By doing so, they were less likely to be caught off guard by misfortune and more able to maintain their composure and peace of mind.
A Stoic understands that it’s not events themselves that disturb us, but our judgement of them. Changing our perspective can change our lives.
4) Emotions are within your control
One of the most powerful lessons in Stoicism is understanding that our emotions are not dictated by external events, but by our thoughts about those events.
It’s a common belief that certain situations or people “make” us feel a certain way. But in reality, it’s our interpretation of the situation or person that triggers our emotions.
A stoic understands this and hence, doesn’t allow the world outside to dictate their inner peace. They recognize that they have the power to choose their response to every situation, and in doing so, they maintain control over their emotions and reactions.
Remember, it’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
5) The present moment is all we have
Stoicism emphasizes the importance of living in the present moment. So often, we’re either caught up in the past or anxious about the future, that we forget to truly live in the now.
The past is gone and the future isn’t guaranteed. The only moment we truly have control over is the present one.
A stoic understands this and focuses their energy on making the most of the here and now. They appreciate each moment as it comes, understanding that each is fleeting and unique.
Living in the present moment helps us to lead more mindful and fulfilling lives. It allows us to fully engage with our current experiences and let go of needless worry and regret.
6) Inner peace is the greatest success
In the hustle and bustle of life, we often measure success by external achievements – wealth, fame, power. But stoicism teaches us that the greatest success is inner peace.
A true stoic understands that no amount of material wealth can equal the value of tranquility of mind. They strive not for outward recognition or possessions, but for a state of inner contentment and calm.
They understand that life is fraught with challenges and uncertainties. Yet, by cultivating resilience, practicing acceptance, and living in accordance with their values, they can achieve a sense of peace that remains unshaken by external events.
The pursuit of inner peace may not be glamorous or celebrated by society’s standards, but to a stoic, it’s the highest form of success. It’s a lesson that often comes late in life, but it’s never too late to embrace it.
7) Virtue is the highest good
Growing up, I was led to believe that success was defined by attaining certain milestones – a high-paying job, a nice house, and a fancy car. But as I delved into Stoicism, I realized that these external achievements didn’t guarantee happiness or fulfillment.
Stoicism taught me that virtue – moral excellence, goodness, righteousness – is the highest good. It’s about acting with integrity, even when no one is watching. It’s about doing the right thing, even when it’s not the easy thing.
This shift in perspective changed my life. Instead of chasing after external validation or material possessions, I began to focus on cultivating my character and living in alignment with my values. And I found a sense of satisfaction and peace that no amount of money or fame could provide.
Stoicism reminds us that while our circumstances may change, our character is something that remains within our control. And it’s our character that truly defines us.
8) Discomfort can be a teacher
In a world that often encourages us to seek comfort and avoid pain at all costs, stoicism offers a different perspective. It proposes that discomfort can serve as a powerful teacher.
The Stoics practiced voluntary discomfort. They would intentionally put themselves in challenging situations to build resilience and learn to remain content, even in less than ideal circumstances.
This doesn’t mean seeking out pain for the sake of it. Rather, it’s about understanding that discomfort is a part of life, and that by facing it head-on, we can learn valuable lessons about resilience, patience, and the transient nature of our circumstances.
So next time you find yourself outside your comfort zone, remember – it’s not just an obstacle, but an opportunity for growth.
9) The value of time
Stoicism teaches us to value and respect our time, as it’s the one resource we can never regain once it’s spent.
We often procrastinate, delay, and waste time as if we have an infinite supply. But the truth is, our time on this earth is limited. A stoic understands this and makes conscious choices about how they spend their time.
They prioritize what truly matters and let go of trivial matters that don’t contribute to their growth or happiness. They understand that every moment spent is a moment that will never return.
Remember, life isn’t just about being busy; it’s about being productive and meaningful. Value your time, for it is the essence of life.
10) Self-awareness is the foundation
At the heart of stoicism, you’ll find a deep emphasis on self-awareness.
Without knowing who we are, understanding our values, and recognizing our strengths and weaknesses, it’s impossible to live a life in alignment with what stoicism proposes.
A stoic practices constant self-reflection. They question their thoughts, reactions, and behaviors. They continuously strive to understand themselves better in order to lead a more fulfilling and virtuous life.
Self-awareness isn’t just about understanding ourselves, but about realizing our place in the world and how our actions impact others. It’s the foundation upon which all other stoic principles rest.
Final reflections: The potency of stoicism
The beauty of stoicism lies in its simplicity and its profound relevance to our daily lives.
These tenets, though conceived centuries ago, hold true in the face of our modern struggles. They remind us that while we can’t control every aspect of our lives, we can control how we respond to them.
The lessons of stoicism are not quick fixes or shortcuts to a happy life. They are practices, processes, and perspectives to be cultivated and nurtured over time.
As Seneca, a famous stoic philosopher, once said, “As long as you live, keep learning how to live.” This statement encapsulates the essence of stoicism – a continuous journey of learning, growing, and striving to live a life of virtue and wisdom.
So whether you’re encountering stoicism for the first time or revisiting its principles, remember: it’s never too late to learn these lessons and apply them to your life. Because at the end of the day, stoicism is not just a philosophy. It’s a toolkit for life.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
