There’s a significant distinction between behaving with natural class and merely putting on a show for others.
This distinction, often, comes down to self-awareness. Classy people inherently know what to avoid doing in public, not to impress others, but because it aligns with their values and principles.
One philosophy that has a lot to say about this is Stoicism. Stoicism provides us with guidelines on how to conduct ourselves in society with dignity and respect.
Let’s get started.
1) Public outbursts
If there’s one thing that stoicism teaches us, it’s the value of maintaining control over our emotions.
Classy people understand this inherently. They know that losing their cool in public, whether it’s over something trivial or something serious, is not a good look.
It’s not about repressing emotions or pretending that everything is fine when it’s not. It’s about handling those emotions with grace and dignity, even when under pressure.
Leaders of stoicism like Marcus Aurelius and Seneca taught us the importance of self-control and emotional mastery. They believed that we can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it.
By avoiding public outbursts, classy people show their ability to stay calm and composed, no matter what life throws at them. This is a sign of maturity and respect for others around them.
But remember, it’s not about putting on a show for others. It’s about staying true to your values and principles, even when the going gets tough.
2) Gossiping
Now, let me tell you a story from my own life.
Once, I was at a dinner party where the conversation took a turn for the worse. The topic shifted to gossip about a mutual acquaintance who wasn’t present. It was uncomfortable, to say the least.
What struck me the most was one person who stayed silent throughout that conversation. Let’s call her Jane. Jane didn’t contribute to the gossip, but she didn’t leave the table or openly criticize others either.
Later, I asked her why she chose to remain silent. She shared with me her belief in stoic principles and how they guide her actions. She explained that according to Stoicism, gossiping is seen as a negative behavior as it spreads negativity and harms relationships.
Jane’s actions reminded me of Epictetus’s stoic teachings, who emphasized focusing on our own actions rather than discussing the actions of others.
That day, I learned a valuable lesson in class and dignity from Jane. Naturally classy people avoid indulging in gossip, not because they think they’re above it, but because they understand the destructive nature of such conversations.
They believe in building people up, not tearing them down, especially when those people aren’t present to defend themselves. Now, isn’t that a classy trait to have?
3) Being rude to service staff
Here’s something that might surprise you: the way people treat service staff is often a reliable indicator of their character.
Naturally classy people, guided by Stoic principles, understand the importance of respecting everyone, regardless of their job or social status. They realize that everyone is playing their part in society, and each role deserves respect and kindness.
Stoicism encourages us to treat others as we would like to be treated, reinforcing the idea of mutual respect. This principle goes all the way back to Zeno of Citium, the founder of Stoicism, who believed in the equality of all individuals.
So whether it’s a waiter at a restaurant, a cleaner at the office, or a barista at your local coffee shop, classy people interact with them politely and respectfully. They avoid being rude or dismissive because they recognize that everyone deserves kindness and respect in equal measures.
4) Oversharing personal information
In this age of social media, it’s become all too common to share every aspect of our lives with the world. But naturally classy people, guided by the principles of Stoicism, tend to avoid oversharing personal information, especially in public.
Why, you ask? Stoics believed in maintaining a sense of personal dignity and privacy. They were advocates of self-restraint and moderation. Oversharing, in their view, would be a violation of these principles.
Classy people understand that not every detail of their lives needs to be public knowledge. They choose what to share and what to keep to themselves, maintaining a balance between openness and privacy.
This doesn’t mean they’re secretive or closed off; instead, they share what is appropriate for the situation and audience. It shows respect for their own privacy and for those around them, a trait that truly sets them apart.
5) Constant complaining
Ever been around someone who can’t stop complaining about everything and everyone? It can be draining to listen to constant negativity. Naturally classy people, inspired by Stoic philosophy, avoid this behavior.
Stoics believed in accepting the world as it is, rather than constantly complaining about how it should be. They understood that life is full of challenges and that complaining doesn’t solve them.
Instead, they focused on what they could control: their own actions and reactions. Classy people adopt the same attitude. They focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on problems.
By avoiding constant complaints, they create a positive atmosphere around them and show resilience in the face of obstacles. It’s a subtle way of demonstrating their strength and class.
6) Ignoring those in need
There’s something deeply touching about witnessing an act of kindness. It’s a moment that can restore our faith in humanity.
Classy people, guided by the principles of Stoicism, don’t turn a blind eye to those in need. They understand that we’re all part of the same human family and that helping each other is not just a duty, but a privilege.
Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and a devoted Stoic, once said, “What injures the hive, injures the bee.” This powerful quote reminds us of our interconnectedness and shared responsibility towards each other.
Whether it’s lending a hand to someone struggling with heavy bags or standing up for someone being treated unjustly, classy people don’t hesitate to step in. Their willingness to help others speaks volumes about their character and leaves a lasting impression on those around them.
Remember, true class is not about how you dress or what you own. It’s about how you treat others, especially when they’re in need.
7) Taking advantage of others
I still remember a sunny afternoon many years ago. I was playing with my friends in the park when I saw a group of older boys picking on a younger kid. It was clear they were taking advantage of his size and age.
Without thinking much, I stepped in. I wasn’t physically strong, but I knew what was happening was wrong. The older boys backed off, and the young kid thanked me with a smile.
Since that day, I’ve realized how crucial it is not to exploit others’ vulnerabilities or weaknesses. It’s something that naturally classy people avoid doing, and it’s a principle deeply embedded in Stoicism.
Stoics believed in fairness and justice. They viewed taking advantage of others as morally wrong. Classy people, influenced by these principles, treat everyone with fairness and refuse to exploit others for their own benefit.
They understand that true strength lies not in exploiting others but in empowering them. And that’s a lesson we can all learn from.
8) Seeking constant attention
It might seem like the most charismatic, classy people are the ones who command attention wherever they go. But here’s an interesting twist: truly classy people aren’t focused on seeking attention at all.
According to Stoicism, class and dignity come from within. It’s about living according to your principles and maintaining self-respect. This philosophy doesn’t leave room for the constant chase for validation and attention from others.
Classy people understand that their worth isn’t determined by how much attention they receive. They don’t need to be the loudest or the most noticeable person in the room to feel valuable.
Instead, they let their actions speak for themselves. They understand that true respect and admiration come from authenticity and integrity, not from constantly being in the spotlight.
In other words, they let their light shine without needing to dim others’. That’s a pretty classy move if you ask me.
9) Being disrespectful to others’ beliefs and values
We all have our own set of beliefs, values, and traditions that shape our world view. Naturally classy people, influenced by Stoic principles, respect these differences and avoid being dismissive or disrespectful towards others’ beliefs and values.
Stoicism teaches us to be open-minded and tolerant. Stoics believed in embracing diversity, understanding that everyone has their own unique perspective on life.
Classy people apply these teachings by showing respect for others’ beliefs, even when they differ from their own. They listen to understand, not to argue or persuade.
This respectful attitude fosters an environment of mutual respect and understanding, which is a true sign of class. After all, it takes strength to accept and respect differences, and that’s what class is all about.
10) Being unkind
Above all else, naturally classy people avoid being unkind. Whether it’s through words or actions, they understand that kindness is the cornerstone of class. Stoicism emphasizes the value of treating others with compassion and respect.
Kindness, according to the Stoics, is not just a virtue but a duty. It doesn’t matter who the person is or what their relation to you is; everyone deserves kindness.
Classy people live by this principle. They know that a single act of kindness can have a profound impact on someone’s life. They choose to be kind, not because they expect something in return, but because it’s the right thing to do.
Remember, the world doesn’t need more people who are rich or successful. It needs more people who are kind. And that’s what truly defines class.
Embodying Class: A Stoic Reflection
The essence of class and dignity, as we’ve explored, isn’t about a list of do’s and don’ts. It’s not about the clothes you wear or the car you drive. Instead, it’s deeply intertwined with our character and values, principles that Stoicism has been advocating for centuries.
Epictetus, one of the most influential Stoic philosophers, once said, “It is not events that disturb people, it is their judgements concerning them.” This profound statement hints at the underlying principle of all the points we’ve discussed: our actions reflect our inner judgments and values.
Stoicism reminds us that class is about self-control, respect for others, and a deep understanding of our place in the world. It encourages us to practice kindness, fairness, and dignity in all aspects of life.
As we navigate through life, each one of us has the capacity to embody these principles. Class isn’t an innate trait exclusive to a select few; it’s a choice we make every day through our actions.
So take a moment to reflect on your own actions. Are they in line with these Stoic principles? Are you choosing to embody class?
In the end, the true measure of class lies not in how others perceive us, but in how we perceive ourselves. And that’s something worth reflecting on.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
