In the hustle and bustle of our modern world, oversharing has become a common phenomenon.
Social media platforms have made it easier than ever to share every aspect of our lives, from daily routines to our deepest thoughts. But is there a cost to this constant sharing?
Stoicism, an ancient Greek philosophy that has stood the test of time, suggests that there is.
Stoicism teaches us the importance of inner peace, self-control, and the pursuit of simple happiness. It prompts us to focus on what’s in our control and let go of what isn’t. Part of this philosophy also entails understanding the value of privacy and the power it holds in maintaining tranquility.
As put by Epictetus:
“When you have adopted the simple life, do not pride yourself upon it, and if you are a water-drinker do not say on every occasion, ‘I am a water-drinker.’ And if you ever want to train laboriously, keep it to yourself and do not make a show of it.” (The Discourses of Epictetus, 1916)
Today, we’ll explore four crucial aspects of life that Stoicism suggests we should keep private.
The aim is not to advocate for a life shrouded in secrecy, but rather to emphasize the importance of preserving certain aspects of your life from the public eye, for the sake of your well-being and personal growth.
Let’s dive in.
1. Your personal goals and ambitions
“If you wish to make progress, you must be content in external matters to seem a fool and a simpleton; do not wish men to think you know anything,” – Epictetus (The Discourses of Epictetus, 1916)
Daily, we are swamped with the urge to share our goals and ambitions with others.
Whether it’s a weight loss journey, a new business plan, or a personal project, many of us are tempted to broadcast these intentions thinking it will motivate us to achieve them.
While this may work for some, Stoic philosophy suggests a more private approach. By keeping our goals private, we spare ourselves unnecessary pressure from external expectations and judgments.
Remember, real satisfaction comes from the progress we make towards achieving our goals rather than the applause we receive for announcing them.
So, next time you set a goal, remember the wisdom of Stoicism and keep it private, focusing on your actions instead of potential recognition.
2. Your acts of kindness and charity
In our hyper-connected world, where every good deed can be instantly broadcasted for likes and shares, the idea of keeping acts of kindness private might seem counterintuitive.
However, Stoicism encourages a more discreet approach.
Real Stoics understand the intrinsic value of kindness and compassion. They perform good deeds not for external recognition but because they believe it’s the right thing to do. Whether it’s helping a neighbor, volunteering, or offering a listening ear, their acts of kindness are genuine and devoid of the need for praise.
This approach aligns with the wisdom of Marcus Aurelius, who suggested that the best way to do good is to do it without expecting anything in return:
“One kind of man, when he does a good turn to someone, is forward also to set down the favour to his account. Another is not forward to to this, but still within himself, he thinks as though he were a creditor and is conscious of what he has done. A third in a sense not even conscious of what he has done, but he like a vine which has borne grapes, and asks nothing more when one it has borne its appropriate fruit…..You ought to be one of these who in a way are not aware of what they do.”
– Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
This Stoic principle underscores the importance of integrity and authenticity in our actions.
By keeping their benevolent actions private, Stoics avoid the ego trap that can come with public recognition. This not only preserves the purity of their intentions but also reinforces the Stoic value of humility.
As a result, their kindness often goes unnoticed by many, but it is deeply appreciated by those who benefit from it.
03 Your emotional reactions
Stoics believe in maintaining control over their emotions, not because they lack feelings, but because they understand that life’s unpredictability requires a steady hand.
Sharing every emotional reaction can not only be overwhelming for others but can also exacerbate our own distress.
Consider this: displaying anger, frustration, or even excessive joy publicly can invite unnecessary scrutiny and judgment. This external focus can detract from our internal stability.
As Epictetus wisely remarked, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”
This Stoic approach emphasizes the importance of internalizing our emotional processing rather than externalizing it.
By keeping their emotional reactions private, Stoics maintain their equanimity and focus on what they can control—their responses. This practice helps them navigate life’s challenges with a calm and balanced outlook. It’s not about suppressing emotions, but about managing them in a way that preserves inner peace and clarity.
Next time you face an emotionally charged situation, consider the Stoic approach. Process your emotions internally, and let your actions be guided by reason and composure rather than immediate emotional impulses. This not only aligns with Stoic principles but also fosters a more resilient and tranquil mindset.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
