As you probably know, Stoicism isn’t just an ancient philosophy for scholars to debate over, but a practical approach to life that can make one seem like they’ve got everything under control.
While beneficial for the person practicing it, truth be told, this kind of steadfastness can seem overwhelming to people still learning to weather the storm of their emotions.
Basically, a Stoics’ strong sense of self and unwavering principles can be a bit much to handle for those not familiar with their philosophy.
In this article, we’re going to delve into seven such stoic traits that often leave people feeling a little uneasy.
Let’s dive in.
1) Unwavering discipline
The first that can be somewhat intimidating is the stoic’s unwavering discipline.
They’re the kind of people who set their mind to something and then do it, no matter what. They don’t let obstacles, distractions, or even their own feelings get in the way of achieving their goals.
Let me give you an example. A friend of mine, let’s call him John, is a true Stoic.
John decided to run a marathon. He wasn’t a runner, and he had a full-time job and a family to take care of. But he didn’t let any of that stop him. Every morning, rain or shine, tired or energized, he’d get up at 5 am and hit the pavement. His discipline was unshakeable.
This kind of relentless discipline can be intimidating to others. It can make them question their own commitment and willpower.
2) Emotional Control
Another trait that makes Stoics seem intimidating to others is their exceptional emotional control. Stoics practice the art of not letting their emotions dictate their actions. They believe in maintaining a calm and rational demeanor, no matter the circumstances.
This trait can be particularly unsettling for those who are more emotionally expressive or volatile. When someone is visibly upset, they may expect a certain level of emotional response or empathy from those around them. However, a Stoic’s response might seem detached or even indifferent because they prioritize reason over emotional reactions.
However, this unwavering emotional control isn’t actually about being cold or unfeeling; it’s about recognizing that emotions are transient and should not dictate our actions or happiness. For Stoics, mastering their emotions is a path to true inner peace and resilience.
3) Resilience in the face of adversity
Stoics are masters of resilience. They view every hardship as an opportunity to learn, grow, and become stronger.
They believe life isn’t about avoiding challenges but facing them head-on and coming out stronger on the other side. They understand that adversity is a part of life, and instead of wishing it away, they equip themselves to deal with it effectively.
This resilience can be intimidating to others. It’s like Stoics have an inner strength that allows them to weather any storm, always finding a way to bounce back.
4) Practicing indifference to external circumstances
I remember a time when I was in college, and my roommate was a stoic. One day, he lost his job unexpectedly. While I expected him to panic or get upset, he surprised me by remaining remarkably calm.
He simply said, “It is what it is. I’ll find another job.”
That’s Stoicism at its finest: practicing indifference to external circumstances. Stoics understand that life is filled with ups and downs, and they don’t allow these oscillations to disturb their inner peace.
This trait isn’t about not caring; it’s about maintaining inner peace and not allowing external events to dictate our happiness.
5) Valuing inner peace over external validation
Stoics place a high value on inner peace and self-validation, often disregarding the need for external approval or recognition. This can be unnerving for those who rely on external validation to gauge their self-worth.
You see Stoicism teaches that true contentment comes from within, not from others’ opinions. Seeking external validation is seen as a path to disappointment, as it’s beyond our control. Instead, Stoics focus on living by their values, finding satisfaction in their own actions.
In work environments, while most people appreciate praise and acknowledgment, a Stoic may not show much interest, focusing instead on their own sense of duty. This can be misinterpreted as aloofness or unappreciativeness.
In social relationships, this inward focus can seem like indifference, even though Stoics value their relationships deeply. For those unaccustomed to such self-reliance, this mindset can be hard to comprehend.
The bottom line
Stoicism isn’t about being emotionless or aloof.
It’s about mastering self-control, practicing resilience, and living in harmony with the world around us. Yes, these traits can be intimidating, but they also offer a pathway to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
We’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Are there any stoic traits you find intimidating? Have you tried adopting any of these traits in your own life?
Share your experiences and insights in the comments.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
