The Stoics believed that a lot of our suffering comes from getting too attached to things that are ultimately beyond our control.
In this article, I’m excited to share five things real Stoics never get too attached to.
And let me tell you, letting go of these attachments has been a game-changer for me. Saying goodbye to these things has not only brought me a sense of calm and clarity but has also helped me navigate the ups and downs of life with much more grace.
Let’s dive in.
1) Material Possessions
Ever caught yourself yearning for the latest gadget, designer clothes, or that sleek new car?
It’s natural; we live in a world that constantly pushes us to want more. But Stoics have a different take on this. They believe that attaching too much importance to material possessions only sets us up for disappointment and dissatisfaction.
Seneca nailed it when he wrote, “if nothing will serve a man but rich clothes and furniture, statues and plate, a numerous train of servants, and the rarities of all nations, it is not Fortune’s fault, but his own, that he is not satisfied: for his desires are insatiable, and this is not a thirst, but a disease; and if he were master of the whole world, he would be still a beggar.” (Seneca’s Morals, 1882)
Marcus Aurelius also offers a profound insight: “Take heed…not to accustom yourself to overvalue the things you are contented to have, so as to be troubled if any time they are not here.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
These quotes remind us that true contentment comes from within, not from the stuff we own.
Think about it: possessions can be lost, stolen, or damaged. If we base our happiness on them, we’re setting ourselves up for a rollercoaster of emotions. Instead, Stoics focus on what they can control – their thoughts, actions, and reactions.
By minimizing attachment to material possessions, we open ourselves up to a more stable, enduring sense of happiness. It’s not about living with nothing; it’s about not letting things own us.
2) Relationships
Relationships are essential to our lives, providing support, love, and companionship. However, Stoics caution against becoming overly attached to relationships, as this can lead to dependency and emotional turmoil.
Instead, they advocate for a balanced approach that values connections without making them the center of our existence.
When we place too much importance on our relationships, we risk losing our sense of self and becoming overly dependent on others for our happiness.
Stoics believe in mutual respect and love in relationships, but they also emphasize self-reliance and inner strength. It’s about appreciating the people in our lives without letting our well-being hinge entirely on their presence or approval. This doesn’t mean becoming detached or indifferent but rather maintaining a healthy sense of independence.
To practice this, focus on nurturing your own interests, goals, and values alongside your relationships. Encourage open communication and mutual growth, but also ensure that you are growing as an individual. This balance allows you to enjoy deeper, more fulfilling connections without losing yourself in the process.
3) Opinions of Others
In a world where social media and constant connectivity amplify every opinion, it’s easy to get caught up in what others think of us. However, Stoics teach us the value of focusing on our own judgment rather than being swayed by external opinions.
Marcus Aurelius perfectly captures this sentiment: “I often wonder how it is that every one loves himself more than all the world and yet takes less account of his own judgement of himself than of the judgement of the world.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
The Stoic approach emphasizes inner peace and self-reliance. By constantly seeking approval or validation from others, we give away our power and allow our happiness to be dictated by external forces. Instead, Stoics encourage us to trust our own judgment and maintain a stable inner compass.
One practical way to embrace this principle is to develop a habit of self-reflection. Spend time each day assessing your actions and decisions based on your own values and principles. Ask yourself if you are acting in alignment with your true self, rather than trying to please others.
Additionally, practice distancing yourself from the need for external validation. This doesn’t mean ignoring constructive feedback but rather not letting others’ opinions define your worth. Focus on being true to yourself and living according to your own values.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
