Overt confidence can be loud and sometimes even brash, often built on external validation. But quiet confidence?
That’s something that comes from within, independent of other people’s opinions.
Quietly confident people have a set of habits that set them apart. They don’t need to shout about their achievements – they let their actions do the talking. And the best part?
These habits can be adopted by anyone.
In this article, we’ll be diving into the seven habits of people who exude quiet confidence, and I’ll be sharing some tips on how you too can incorporate these habits into your life.
1) They listen more than they speak
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” – Epictetus
Quiet confidence isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about being the most attentive.
People with quiet confidence have mastered the art of listening. Rather than dominating conversations, they’re more focused on understanding others’ perspectives. They’re not quick to offer their opinions unless asked or if they truly have something valuable to contribute.
This habit doesn’t just exude confidence; it also fosters respect and trust from others.
Want to adopt this habit?
Practice active listening. Make a conscious effort to fully concentrate, understand, respond and then remember what is being said in your conversations. It’s not just about waiting for your turn to speak but genuinely understanding the other person’s point of view.
It might take some effort at first, but with time, you’ll notice a significant difference in your interactions with others and how you are perceived.
2) They are comfortable with silence
As Lao Tzu said, “Silence is a source of great strength.” It’s amazing how much we can say by not saying a thing.
I’ve noticed this in my own life.
There was a time when I filled every pause in a conversation with words, anxious that the silence would be perceived as awkward or that it signified a lack of something to say. But over time, I learned that silence can also be a powerful tool for communication.
People who are quietly confident are comfortable with silence. They don’t see it as something to be avoided or filled, but as a space for reflection and contemplation.
They understand that not everything requires an immediate response and sometimes, silence speaks louder than words.
So, how to adopt this? Allow the conversation to breathe. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, you’ll start to appreciate the power of silence.
3) They’re not afraid to say “I don’t know”
Did you know that one of the smartest people in history, Albert Einstein, reportedly said, “The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know”?
People who are quietly confident embrace this mindset. They’re comfortable admitting when they don’t have all the answers. Rather than seeing it as a weakness, they view it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Adopting this habit can be empowering. It not only shows you’re open-minded and humble, but it also frees you from the pressure of feeling like you always need to have an answer.
Next time you’re asked something you don’t know, try responding with “I don’t know, but I’ll find out”, and see the difference it makes.
4) They don’t fall into the trap of external validation
“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.” ―
Quiet confidence comes from within.
Unlike overtly confident people who often seek external validation to affirm their worth, those with quiet confidence understand that true self-worth is not dependent on others’ opinions. This internal assurance allows them to stay grounded and unaffected by the fluctuating judgments of those around them. They do not constantly seek praise or recognition. They are content with their achievements and understand their value without needing others to affirm it.
To adopt this habit, start by acknowledging your accomplishments privately. Reflect on your successes and the effort you put in, rather than waiting for others to notice. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that your worth is not tied to external approval. With time, this internal validation will build a foundation of quiet confidence that is unshakeable.
5) They practice self-care
This is a big one.
When I was younger, I used to push myself to my limits, thinking that the more I did, the more successful I would be. But over time, this only led to burnout and a drop in my self-confidence.
Quietly confident people understand the importance of taking care of themselves. They prioritize their mental, emotional, and physical health, knowing that their well-being is crucial to their confidence. They take time out for activities they enjoy and that relax them, and they’re not afraid to say no when they need to.
6) They set personal boundaries
Quietly confident people understand their limits and are not afraid to establish boundaries. They know that saying ‘yes’ to everything is not a measure of their worth or capability.
These individuals respect their time, energy, and emotional space, and they ensure others do the same. They’re not afraid to say ‘no’ when necessary, and they don’t feel guilty for doing so.
Adopting this habit involves becoming more self-aware and understanding your limits. It’s okay to say ‘no’ if something doesn’t align with your values, drains your energy excessively, or infringes on your personal time.
7) They believe in themselves
At the heart of quiet confidence is a firm belief in oneself. Quietly confident people trust their abilities and know their worth.
Believing in yourself might sound simple, but it’s a habit that takes time and patience to cultivate. Start by acknowledging your strengths, celebrating your achievements, and reminding yourself of your worth regularly.
Final thoughts: Confidence is an inside job
Mark Twain once said, “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” Quiet confidence is about being comfortable with who you are, embracing your strengths and weaknesses, and believing in your abilities.
These individuals don’t seek validation from others or depend on external achievements to feel good about themselves. Their confidence comes from within, built on a foundation of self-belief and self-respect.
Cultivating these habits may take time and effort, but the result is a form of confidence that’s authentic, resilient, and grounded.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
