We’ve all been there – heartache, disappointment, betrayal.
They leave scars that can take time to heal. But some folks seem to navigate these stormy seas with grace and strength. What’s their secret?
Well, as far as I can see (and as experts would suggest), it’s often habits that they’ve made a part of their lives, whether they know it or not.
Today, we’ll be exploring some of these habits, giving you the tools you need to stand tall even when you’ve been emotionally wounded.
Let’s dive in, shall we?
1) They acknowledge their pain
First and foremost, staying strong doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It’s not about putting on a brave face or ignoring the hurt. As psychotherapist Nancy Colier put it, “The more we make room for what hurts, the better we feel.”
People who manage to stay resilient after emotional wounds understand this very well. They don’t shy away from acknowledging their pain. They face it head on.
Why is this important?
Because acknowledging your pain is the first step towards dealing with it. It’s like turning on the lights in a dark room – suddenly, you can see what you’re dealing with.
It’s not always an easy step, but it’s a crucial one.
Don’t sweep your feelings under the rug. Let them out. Cry if you need to. Scream if you have to.
Emotional wounds need to be treated just like physical ones – with care, attention, and time.
2) They practice self-compassion
Here’s something I’ve come across in my years of studying and writing about relationships: People who stay strong after emotional wounds have a high degree of self-compassion.
What does that mean?
It means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a good friend who’s going through a tough time. It’s about forgiving ourselves for our mistakes, embracing our imperfections, and reminding ourselves that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.
To some of you, this may seem a bit new age, but it’s backed by science. Research has shown that “self–compassion is strongly associated with psychological well-being.”
So give it a shot. Start being kind to yourself.
3) They let go of the need for control
This might sound counterintuitive, but hear me out.
Life is unpredictable. Things happen that are beyond our control, and trying to micromanage every aspect of it can not only be exhausting but also futile.
When life knocks you down, it’s natural to want to regain control, to try and prevent such hurt from happening again.
But the truth is, we can’t control everything. We can’t control other people’s actions, the circumstances we find ourselves in, or the curveballs life throws our way.
What we can control, however, is our response to these situations. We can choose how we react, how we process our emotions, and how we move forward.
4) They cultivate gratitude
This one might sound a bit cliché, but it’s truly transformative. In fact, practicing gratitude is like a super habit; as noted by the folks at UCLA Health, the benefits can include reduced depression and anxiety, better heart health, stress relief, and even better sleep!
It’s also a habit that I’ve seen work wonders in my own life as well as in the lives of those I’ve worked with.
Even in the midst of emotional turmoil, there are always “helpers” – things to be grateful for. It could be a supportive friend, a warm cup of coffee, or a peaceful sunrise.
This simple act of recognizing and appreciating these moments can help shift your perspective and give you the strength to keep going. So why not give it a try?
Start by listing three things you’re grateful for today. You might be surprised at how this small habit can make a big difference.
5) They reach out for support
“Do not be ashamed to be helped” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Yes, resilience often involves standing strong on your own, but it also involves knowing when to lean on others. People who bounce back from emotional wounds understand the importance of having a support system.
In my experience, both personally and professionally, I’ve seen that we humans are wired for connection. We thrive on it. And in times of emotional distress, reaching out to someone – a friend, a family member, or a professional – can make a world of difference.
It’s about sharing your feelings and experiences, not to get advice or solutions necessarily, but to feel heard and validated. Sometimes, all we need is someone who says, “I see you. I hear you. You’re not alone.”
Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength. It shows that you value yourself enough to take care of your mental and emotional well-being. So don’t hesitate to reach out – people are often more willing to help than we think.
6) They prioritize self-care
If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that self-care is not a luxury – it’s a necessity. And people who stay strong after emotional wounds seem to understand this well.
Self-care is about taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It could be as simple as taking a walk in nature, reading a book, meditating, or just taking a few minutes to breathe deeply.
I’m reminded of a quote by Audre Lorde: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation,…”
In the hustle and bustle of life, we often forget to take care of ourselves. But you can’t pour from an empty cup.
7) They allow themselves to feel
This one might be the hardest, yet the most vital – allowing yourself to feel.
Yes, it’s painful. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. But it’s also necessary.
Why? Because bottling up your emotions doesn’t make them disappear. It only postpones the inevitable. And when they do come out (and they will), it’s often more intense and harder to handle.
Being emotionally honest with yourself is not a sign of weakness; it’s a testament to your strength and courage. It’s about acknowledging your humanity and giving yourself permission to be a work in progress.
Final words
Navigating emotional wounds is a journey that requires strength, resilience, and self-compassion. The habits we’ve explored today are the building blocks that can help you recover and thrive despite life’s challenges.
If you found these insights helpful and want more tips and inspiration, consider signing up for our newsletter. Stay connected with a community that values growth, learning, and the power of positive habits. Let’s continue this journey together!
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
