Life’s a journey, right? And along the way, we meet some amazing individuals. But sometimes, the people we hold dearest to our hearts may not be destined to stay in our lives forever.
It’s tough, but it’s a reality.
When you’ve outgrown someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve become a bad person or have done something wrong. It just means you’re evolving, and they might not be headed in the same direction.
As a relationship expert, I’ve seen this happen time and time again. So, how do you know when it’s time to let go?
Well, that’s what we get into today.
In this article, I’m going to share with you seven clear signs that suggest you’ve simply outgrown someone in your life. This isn’t about causing pain or stirring up drama. It’s about understanding yourself better and making decisions that will contribute positively to your personal growth journey.
After all, sometimes moving on isn’t about becoming a different person– it’s about becoming more of who you truly are! So, ready for some real talk?
Let’s dive in.
1) A change in priorities
The journey of life is all about growth and change. And sometimes, as we evolve, so do our priorities.
When you were younger, perhaps you bonded over shared interests like video games or indie bands. As time goes on, however, you may find that the things you once held dear no longer resonate with you. Maybe now you’re more into meditation, or you’ve developed a passion for environmental activism.
If the things that mattered to you significantly shift and the other person doesn’t quite catch up, it can create a disconnect. You may find yourself less excited to share your thoughts and experiences with them because they can’t fully appreciate or understand these new aspects of your life.
It’s a tough realization to come to, but it’s an important one. A change in priorities can be a clear sign that you’ve outgrown someone. It’s not about being better or worse, it’s just about being different. And sometimes, that difference means moving on.
2) Comfort over connection
Oddly enough, comfort can be a telltale sign that you’ve outgrown someone. Sounds counterintuitive, right? Let me explain.
Comfort is vital in any relationship. It’s great to feel at ease with someone, to let your guard down, and be your truest self. But when comfort turns into complacency, it’s a different story.
When you’re sticking around because the relationship feels safe and familiar rather than because it’s genuinely fulfilling, it’s time for some introspection. Are you there for the right reasons, or are you there because it’s simply easier than forging new connections?
When comfort starts to outweigh connection, it might be a sign that you’re staying put out of habit, not out of a genuine desire to share your life with this person. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but recognizing this can pave the way for growth and new experiences.
3) The constant need to explain yourself
In my years of offering relationship advice, I’ve learned that one of the most frustrating experiences is feeling like you constantly have to justify yourself and your actions to someone.
When you’ve outgrown someone, you may find that you’re always explaining yourself to them. It can be exhausting to feel like you’re under constant scrutiny or judgment, especially from someone who is supposed to understand and accept you.
In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss how a healthy relationship should be a safe space where both parties feel heard, understood, and respected.
But if you’re spending more time defending your choices than enjoying your shared moments, it might be a sign that you’re outgrowing the relationship.
It’s not about blaming the other person. It’s about recognizing your feelings and taking steps towards a healthier emotional space.
4) Dissimilar vision for the future
We all have dreams, ambitions, and visions of what we want our future to look like. When we share these dreams with someone, and they match or at least align with theirs, it’s a beautiful thing. But what happens when your visions begin to diverge?
If you’ve started envisioning a future that doesn’t include the other person or where they fit into your life seems blurry, it’s worth paying attention to this feeling. It may be an indication that you’re maturing in a direction that they aren’t.
This isn’t a judgment on either of your paths – it’s simply an acknowledgment that different paths may no longer intersect as they once did. It’s okay to acknowledge this and consider what’s best for your personal growth.
5) You feel drained
Relationships should be sources of joy, love, and support. But if instead of feeling energized and happy after spending time with someone, you feel drained or emotionally exhausted, it’s time to reconsider.
In my experience, when you’ve outgrown someone, their company can often start to feel more taxing than uplifting. You might start to dread interactions or find excuses to avoid spending time together. This is your emotional self trying to tell you something important.
Remember that it’s okay to prioritize your feelings. Your emotional health is just as important as your physical health. It’s okay to take a step back and reassess if a relationship leaves you feeling more depleted than fulfilled. It may just be another sign that you’ve outgrown this person in your life.
6) You’re growing, they’re not
We’re all on our own unique journey of personal growth and self-discovery. However, sometimes you might find that while you’re on this journey of growth and transformation, the other person seems stuck in one place.
If you feel like you’re blossoming and they’re still tightly cocooned in their bud, it can create a mismatch. This isn’t about looking down on their journey or belittling their pace – it’s about recognizing that your paths may no longer be aligned.
Real growth is often uncomfortable but necessary. And sometimes, letting go of those we’ve outgrown is part of that growth.
7) You’re holding onto memories, not the person
This one is tough, but it’s important. Sometimes, we don’t realize that what we’re holding onto are the memories of what once was, and not the person as they are now.
We cherish the nostalgia, the shared history, and the comfort of familiarity, even when the present situation doesn’t reflect those warm memories anymore. Do you find yourself clinging to past memories more than enjoying the current reality with this person? It’s a hard sign that you’ve outgrown them.
Being honest with yourself about this can be incredibly difficult – it’s never easy to let go of a part of your past. But sometimes, it’s necessary for your own growth and happiness.
Final thoughts
To wrap things up, outgrowing someone is a natural part of life. It’s not a negative reflection on you or the other person. It’s simply a sign of growth, evolution, and change.
And while it can be painful to let go, it’s often necessary for both parties to continue on their own paths of personal growth.
Each person you meet and each relationship you form serves a purpose in your life. Even when you outgrow someone, the memories, lessons, and experiences you’ve shared with them will always be a part of you.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
