In the hustle and bustle of our modern world, it’s easy to get caught up in the relentless pursuit of more – more money, more possessions, more success. But what if the key to true happiness isn’t about acquiring more but about letting go?
According to Stoicism, an ancient philosophy popularized by thinkers like Marcus Aurelius and Seneca, this is precisely the case. This philosophy emphasizes adapting to life’s twists and turns and finding peace within oneself, no matter the circumstances.
This article explores seven things we can let go of to lead a simpler, happier life.
Prepare to rethink what you truly need to be content.
1) The need for approval
Do you find yourself constantly seeking validation from others?
If so, you’re not alone – it’s a common trap many of us fall into.
But according to Stoicism, this constant need for approval can make us slaves to others’ opinions and rob us of our peace of mind. As put by Epictetus:
“Regard for any external thing, whatever it be, makes you subservient to another.” – Epictetus (The Discourses of Epictetus,1916)
The Stoics suggest that we should be more concerned with our own virtue and character than with how others perceive us. Our value doesn’t come from others’ approval but from living according to our values and principles.
By letting go of the need for external validation, we become free to live authentically and peacefully, guided by our inner compass rather than the fluctuating opinions of those around us.
2) The illusion of control
Are you guilty of trying to micromanage every aspect of your life?
I know I’ve certainly been there. I used to stress about things that were entirely out of my control, from worrying about the weather ruining my weekend plans to fretting about a friend’s late reply to a text message.
Stoicism, however, teaches us that this is a futile endeavor. It reminds us that we can’t control everything around us – not the weather, not others’ actions, not even every event in our own lives. What we can control, however, are our responses to these events.
By letting go of the illusion of control over external events and focusing on controlling our reactions instead, we can save ourselves a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety. We start to understand, as put by Epictetus:
“What disturbs men’s minds is not events but their judgements on events” – Epictetus (The Discourses of Epictetus,1916)
And that’s something we have the power to change.
3) The past
As the famous philosopher Søren Kierkegaard once expressed, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
Stoicism echoes this sentiment, teaching us the futility of dwelling on the past.
We all have things in our past that we regret or wish we could change. But no amount of rumination can alter what has already occurred.
Instead of getting stuck in things we can’t control, Stoicism encourages us to learn from them and then let them go. As put by Seneca, “The true felicity of life is to be free from perturbations, to understand our duties towards God and man: to enjoy the present without any anxious dependence upon the future.” (Seneca’s Morals, 1882)
By doing so, we free up mental space for more productive thoughts and actions that can actually influence our current and future happiness.
4) Fear of the future
Picture this: you’ve just landed a dream job. It’s an exciting time, but instead of savoring the moment, your mind starts to race with worries about the future. What if you’re not good enough? What if your boss doesn’t like you? What if…?
This fear of future uncertainties is something many of us grapple with. However, Stoicism teaches us that this fear is based on hypothetical scenarios that may never come to pass. Much like dwelling on the past, fear of the future is unproductive and can rob us of joy in the present.
5) Excessive materialism
In today’s consumer-driven society, it’s easy to fall into the trap of excessive materialism. We’re constantly bombarded with messages telling us that we need the latest gadget, the newest car, or the fanciest clothes to be happy. But Stoicism challenges this notion.
The Stoics advocated for a simple life free from the relentless pursuit of material possessions. They believed that true happiness and contentment come from within and cannot be bought or sold.
This is perhaps best expressed by Seneca:
“if nothing will serve a man but rich clothes and furniture, statues and plate, a numerous train of servants, and the rarities of all nations, it is not Fortune’s fault, but his own, that he is not satisfied: for his desires are insatiable, and this is not a thirst, but a disease; and if he were master of the whole world, he would be still a beggar.” (Seneca’s Morals, 1882)
By letting go of excessive materialism, we can focus on what truly matters – our character, our relationships, and our personal growth.
This doesn’t mean rejecting all material goods but rather ensuring they don’t become the driving force of our lives. After all, the best things in life aren’t things.
6) Negative thinking
“it is in the soul’s power to preserve its own quiet and calm, and not to judge pain to be an evil; for every judgement, impulse, desire, or aversion is within, and nothing evil makes its way up to this.” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
We all have an internal dialogue running in our minds. But for many of us, this dialogue can often be overly critical and negative. We beat ourselves up over small mistakes, doubt our abilities, and compare ourselves unfavorably to others.
Stoicism, however, teaches us the importance of mastering our thoughts and keeping a positive mindset. The Stoics believed that our thoughts shape our reality, and that by changing our thoughts, we can change our lives.
By letting go of negative self-talk, we can cultivate a more positive and empowering inner dialogue. Remember, you wouldn’t talk to a friend the way you sometimes talk to yourself. Be your own cheerleader, not your own critic. You deserve kindness, especially from yourself.
7) Resistance to change
Life is a constant cycle of change. Seasons change, people change, and circumstances change. Yet, many of us resist these changes, clinging to the familiar and fearing the unknown. This resistance, however, only leads to stress and unhappiness.
Stoicism teaches us to embrace change rather than resist it. Stoics viewed change as a natural part of life and encouraged acceptance of it.
“Nature loves nothing so much as to change what it is and to create new things in their likeness” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Change is not always easy, but it is inevitable. The more we can accept that and flow with it, the happier and more peaceful we’ll be.
Embrace the change, embrace the growth.
The bottom line
Life is complex, but it doesn’t have to be complicated.
By letting go of these things, we can pave the way for a simpler, happier life.
We’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Have you tried implementing any of these Stoic principles in your life? How has it worked for you?
Share your experiences in the comments below. We’re all on this journey together.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
