8 behaviors that indicate someone is hiding their true feelings

Everyone has hidden a true feeling or two at some point, right? I mean, who hasn’t? But can you tell when someone else is doing the same?

I’ve been around the relationship block a few times, and what I’ve learned is that it can be pretty hard to pinpoint when someone is concealing their true emotions.

But fear not; there are signs. 

Today, I’m going to share with you eight telltale behaviors that indicate someone might be hiding their true feelings.

This isn’t about playing detective or prying into someone’s privacy. It’s about understanding and empathizing with those around us.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

1) They’re always “fine”

In my years of experience, I’ve observed that one of the most common ways people hide their true feelings is by always saying they’re “fine”.

It’s the perfect non-answer, isn’t it?

It doesn’t give anything away, and it shuts down further probing.

But we all know life isn’t always fine. We all have our ups and downs, our good days and bad. If someone consistently says they’re “fine”, especially when there is evidence to the contrary, that’s a clear red flag.

This behavior could indicate that this person is trying to keep their real feelings under wraps. Whether it’s due to fear of vulnerability, trying to maintain a certain image or just not wanting to burden others, this is a classic sign of hidden emotions.

2) Their body language doesn’t match their words

Now, this is something I’ve noticed a lot. People can say all the right words, but their body language tells a completely different story.

You see, our bodies are incredibly honest. They can betray our true feelings even when we’re trying our hardest to hide them.

So, pay attention to those crossed arms, averted gazes, or forced smiles. They might just be telling you something the person isn’t ready to say out loud.

3) They avoid deep conversations

Have you ever noticed someone steering clear of meaningful, heart-to-heart conversations?

That’s another sign they could be hiding their true feelings.

People often avoid deep conversations because they’re afraid of revealing too much of themselves. It’s a safety mechanism—the less they reveal, the less they risk being hurt.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into why some people find it difficult to open up and how this can lead to unhealthy dynamics in a relationship.

But for today, just know that if you find someone always shifting the conversation to superficial topics or making jokes to deflect, it could be their way of protecting themselves. 

4) They’re overly cheerful

Now, this one might seem a bit counterintuitive. After all, isn’t being cheerful a good thing?

Well, yes and no.

While being upbeat is generally a positive trait, there’s a big difference between genuine happiness and forced cheerfulness.

People often use excessive cheerfulness as a mask to hide their true feelings. It’s like a smokescreen – the bigger the smile, the harder it is to see what’s really going on underneath.

It’s not about suspecting every happy person you meet. It’s about noticing when someone’s cheerfulness feels forced or out of place. If it seems like they’re trying too hard to be happy all the time, they might be hiding something deeper.

5) They’re overly defensive

Here’s something I’ve learned from my own relationships – defensiveness can often be a shield for hidden emotions.

Think about it. When we feel attacked or misunderstood, our instinct is to defend ourselves. But when someone is overly defensive, especially over small matters, it might be because they’re hiding their true feelings.

Maybe they’re scared of being vulnerable, or perhaps they’re dealing with feelings they’re not ready to confront. Either way, an excessive defensiveness can be a sign that there’s more going on beneath the surface.

6) They push people away

This one is tough to swallow, but it’s a reality.

Sometimes, when someone is wrestling with intense emotions they’d rather not deal with, it can feel safer to create distance from those around them. It’s a way of avoiding the risk of someone else seeing their pain or vulnerability.

It’s a heartbreaking defense mechanism because what they often need most during these times is connection, support, and understanding. But their fear of being seen in their raw and honest state can cause them to isolate instead.

7) They are inconsistent in their behavior

One day, they are warm and engaging, and the next, distant and withdrawn. Sound familiar?

This fluctuation often occurs because managing hidden emotions is a taxing process that can unpredictably affect one’s mood and interactions.

When individuals are struggling internally, their external behaviors can become erratic as they attempt to cope with their feelings. This inconsistency might confuse those around them, leading to misunderstandings or conflict.

8) They numb themselves

This last point is a tough one, but it’s important to address it – sometimes people hide their feelings by numbing themselves.

Whether it’s through excessive work, substance abuse, or mindless entertainment, numbing is a way of escaping from painful emotions. It’s a way of ignoring what’s really going on inside.

It’s a sad reality that some people feel the need to dull their senses just to get through the day. It’s a sign of deep emotional pain that they’re not ready or able to confront.

If you notice someone resorting to numbing behaviors, it could be a cry for help. Reach out to them, show them you care, and, if necessary, encourage them to seek professional help. It might just be the lifeline they need.

Conclusion

There you have it, eight behaviors that could indicate someone is hiding their true feelings.

Remember, this isn’t about playing detective or forcing someone to reveal their feelings. It’s about understanding, empathizing, and supporting those around us.

If you’ve recognized some of these behaviors in someone close to you, I encourage you to approach them with kindness and patience. And if you’ve recognized these behaviors in yourself, remember that it’s okay to seek help.

Acknowledging our true feelings is the first step towards healing. And sometimes, all we need is a little bit of understanding and the right support.

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Until next time, stay Strong.