8 habits that make people dislike you without you realizing it

You might not even realize it, but there could be certain habits you have that are slowly pushing people away.

Trust me, I’ve been there.

As a seasoned relationship expert, I’ve seen firsthand how small behaviors can have a big impact on how others perceive us.

In this article, we’re going to explore eight habits that might be making people dislike you without you even knowing it. These are things that can sneak up on you, but once you’re aware of them, you can start making changes.

So, let’s dive in.

1) Constant negativity

We’ve all encountered that person who seems to only see the glass as half empty.

This constant barrage of negativity can be draining, to say the least. It’s like a dark cloud that follows you around, sucking the joy out of every situation.

The truth is, people generally prefer to surround themselves with positivity. It uplifts them, motivates them, and makes them feel good about themselves and their lives.

If you’re in the habit of always focusing on the downside, you might be inadvertently pushing people away.

The key here is awareness. Once you recognize this habit, you can start working on shifting your perspective.

It’s not about being blindly optimistic but rather about finding a balance and seeing things from different angles.

2) Not respecting personal space

Once, at a networking event, I met a person who kept invading my personal space. They would stand too close, touch my arm while talking, and it made me quite uncomfortable. I found myself trying to subtly step back or shift away, but they didn’t seem to notice or understand my signals.

As the saying goes, “Good fences make good neighbors.” This quote from Robert Frost isn’t just about property lines; it applies to personal boundaries as well.

Respecting someone’s personal space is a fundamental aspect of human interaction. When you cross that invisible boundary, it can make people feel uneasy or even threatened.

Next time you’re interacting with someone, be conscious of their personal space. Everyone’s comfort level is different, and it’s important to respect that. Crossing this line unknowingly might be one of the reasons people are put off by your presence.

3) Appearing too perfect

Imagine being around someone who seems to have it all together, all the time. Their life appears to be a highlight reel of achievements, spotless relationships, and unwavering composure.

On the surface, it might seem admirable, but in reality, it can be incredibly off-putting.

Perfection, or the illusion of it, creates an invisible barrier between you and others. It sends a message that you are unrelatabl. People want to connect with others who are authentic, who show vulnerability, and who can admit to making mistakes.

I’ve encountered this firsthand. Early in my career, I worked tirelessly to present a flawless image, thinking it would earn me respect and admiration. Instead, it had the opposite effect. Colleagues found it difficult to relate to me, and friendships felt superficial. It wasn’t until I started sharing my struggles and admitting my faults that I began to form genuine connections.

Striving for perfection can also lead to unrealistic expectations for others, making them feel inadequate in comparison. This can create a toxic dynamic where people are constantly on edge, trying to live up to an unattainable standard.

The key is balance. Aim to be competent and reliable, but don’t shy away from showing your human side. Embrace your imperfections and let others see your authentic self. This will not only make you more relatable but also foster deeper, more meaningful relationships.

4) Dominating conversations

I’ll be real with you; this was something I struggled with myself.

In my earlier years, I found myself often dominating conversations. I was so passionate about sharing my thoughts and ideas that I unintentionally overlooked others’ input.

But over time, I realized that conversation is a two-way street. It’s as much about listening as it is about speaking.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into the importance of being an active listener. This means not only hearing the words that another person is saying but also understanding and empathizing with their viewpoints.

But for now just know that people want to feel heard and understood. If you’re always the one doing the talking, you might be unknowingly creating a barrier between you and others.

5) Always being “too nice”

Now, this might seem counterintuitive. After all, isn’t it a good thing to be nice to others?

Well, yes and no.

While kindness is a virtue, always being “too nice” can sometimes give off the wrong impression. People may perceive it as inauthentic or may feel like they’re being smothered.

Even worse, some people might take advantage of your perpetual niceness, seeing it as a green light to walk all over you. It’s crucial to strike a balance between being pleasant and setting boundaries.

Being assertive doesn’t mean you’re not nice. It just means you value your own needs and opinions as much as those of others.

It’s okay to say no sometimes. It’s okay to disagree. Authenticity will earn you more respect than constant agreeability ever will.

6) Being judgmental

This is a tough one to admit, but we’ve all been guilty of it at some point.

Whether it’s judging someone based on their appearance, their choices, or their beliefs, it’s a habit that can deeply hurt others and drive them away.

Judgment creates a barrier between people. It sends a message that you believe you’re superior or that your way of life is the ‘right’ one. And that’s not a message anyone likes to receive.

Everyone is fighting their own battles and walking their own path. Our job isn’t to judge but to understand and empathize.

7) Not keeping commitments

I remember my grandmother always used to say, “Promises are like babies: easy to make, hard to deliver.”

And she was right.

Making commitments is easy, but keeping them can be a whole other ball game. Yet, it’s crucial in building and maintaining trust in any relationship.

If you have a habit of canceling plans at the last minute or not following through with promises, people might start to see you as unreliable. This can lead to them distancing themselves from you over time.

Actions speak louder than words, and when we keep our commitments, we show others that they can count on us.

There you have it, eight habits that might be pushing people away without you even realizing it.

The first step towards change is awareness. Now that you’re aware of these habits, you can start making conscious efforts to work on them.

Remember, we’re all human, and we all have our shortcomings. It’s not about achieving perfection but about growing and improving.

For more insights and guidance on building healthier relationships, I invite you to check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

Here’s to healthier, more meaningful connections with those around us!