8 simple ways to be a better and kinder person every day according to Stoicism

We all know that by embracing Stoic principles, we can learn how to navigate life’s challenges. But this philosophy doesn’t just teach us how to be resilient in the face of adversity; it also guides us on how to be better and kinder individuals every day.

Today, we will explore seven simple ways Stoicism can help you become a more compassionate, understanding, and kind-hearted person.

Whether you’re familiar with Stoicism or just starting to explore this philosophical approach, these tips can aid you in your journey toward personal growth and improved relationships with others.

1) Practicing gratitude

How often do you pause to appreciate what you have, rather than fixating on what you lack?

Stoicism offers a profound lesson on the importance of gratitude in leading a fulfilling life. Marcus Aurelius once remarked:

“Whenever you desire to cheer yourself, think upon the merits of those who are alive with you; the energy of one, for instance, the modesty of another, the generosity of a third, of another some other gift.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

By focusing on the positive traits and contributions of those around us, we not only foster a sense of appreciation for others but also cultivate a more grateful outlook on life.

Incorporating gratitude into our daily lives can transform our outlook and interactions with the world around us. It shifts our focus from what we lack to what we possess, from discontent to satisfaction.

It helps us to recognize the value in people and our surroundings and, in doing so, become better and kinder individuals.

2) Aiming to understand

Marcus Aurelius advises us to approach even those who have wronged us with empathy and understanding:

“When a man offends against you, think at once what conception of good or ill it was which made him offend. And seeing this, you will pity him, and feel neither surprise nor anger.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

This perspective encourages us to see beyond our initial reactions toward compassion, promoting healthier and more forgiving relationships.

3) Focusing on your reactions

Picture this: someone cuts you off in traffic, or a colleague takes credit for your work. Your initial impulse might be frustration or anger. However, Stoicism teaches us to focus not on external events but on our reactions to them.

This quote encourages us to understand that while we cannot control what happens to us, we have complete autonomy over how we respond.

Epictetus offers an actionable insight:

“What disturbs men’s minds is not events but their judgements on events.” (The Discourses of Epictetus, 1916)

It’s a reminder that our emotional disturbances stem not from the incidents themselves but from the judgments we make about them. By altering our perceptions, we can change our emotional responses.

Recognizing this gives us the opportunity to choose a different interpretation and, consequently, a different reaction. It isn’t about suppressing emotions but understanding their origin and choosing a response aligned with our values.

Next time you find yourself in a challenging situation, pause and reflect on your reaction. Ask yourself if there’s a more constructive way to perceive the event and respond accordingly.

4) Thinking about the greater good

While Stoicism often emphasizes personal virtues such as self-discipline and resilience, it equally champions the importance of fostering community and nurturing relationships.

Stoics believe in the interconnectedness of all people and the duty we have towards each other as members of a larger community. Marcus Aurelius once wrote:

“We are all working together to a single end.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

&

“What does not benefit the hive is not benefit to the bee.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

This beautifully illustrates the Stoic view that working together harmoniously is in our nature, and our relationships with others form an essential part of our well-being.

5) Keeping the power of gentleness in mind

Stoicism also teaches us the power of gentleness and the importance of forgiveness, not just towards others but also towards ourselves. Marcus Aurelius, again, provides a profound insight into how to embody this principle:

“Gentleness is invincible, if it be genuine and not sneering or hypocritical. For what can the most insolent do to you, if you continue gentle to him, and, if opportunity allows, mildly admonish him and quietly show him a better way at the very moment when he attempts to do you injury.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

This quote highlights that true strength lies in our ability to remain calm and kind, even in the face of adversity or wrongdoing. By choosing gentleness over aggression, we not only preserve our own peace of mind but also open the possibility of positively influencing others’ behavior.

Practicing this form of proactive kindness can lead to more peaceful interactions and a deeper sense of satisfaction in our personal and professional relationships. It encourages us to be compassionate and patient, recognizing that everyone is fighting their own battles, and often, a gentle word can turn around a tense situation.

6) Not judging others by status or wealth

How often do we equate a person’s value with their material wealth or social status?

Epictetus challenges us to rethink this common yet flawed perspective:

“It is illogical to reason thus, ‘I am richer than you, therefore I am superior to you’, ‘I am more eloquent than you, therefore I am superior to you.’ It is more logical to reason, ‘I am richer than you, therefore my property is superior to yours’, ‘I am more eloquent than you, therefore my speech is superior to yours.’ You are something more than property or speech.” (The Discourses of Epictetus, 1916)

This quote prompts us to separate a person’s inherent worth from their external attributes.

By doing so, we acknowledge that true value lies not in material possessions but in one’s character and actions. Stoicism teaches us that everyone, regardless of their socio-economic status, possesses intrinsic value that deserves recognition and respect.

7) Not rubbing your success in others’ faces

This is a big one.

In an era dominated by social media, displays of personal success and lifestyle achievements are commonplace. But Epictetus offers timeless advice on humility:

“When you have adopted the simple life, do not pride yourself upon it, and if you are a water-drinker do not say on every occasion, ‘I am a water-drinker.’ And if you ever want to train laboriously, keep it to yourself and do not make a show of it.” (The Discourses of Epictetus, 1916)

This underscores the Stoic value of modesty and the importance of not flaunting our successes or virtues. By refraining from boasting about our achievements or how we might differ from others, especially in public forums like social media, we foster an environment of equality and respect.

Stoicism teaches that true virtue and self-improvement are rewards in themselves and don’t require external validation.

Practicing restraint in sharing our successes can also prevent others from feeling inadequate or jealous, promoting a more supportive and positive community.

8) Giving without expecting in return

In essence, Stoicism offers timeless wisdom that can guide us toward becoming better and kinder individuals.

As always, I hope you found some value in this post.

We would love to hear how Stoicism has impacted your life or any thoughts you may have on applying these principles. Please share your experiences in the comments below. A

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Until next time, stay Stoic.