Have you ever wondered what the key is to living a more fulfilled and less stressful life?
In a world where distractions are endless and pressures are high, finding clarity and peace can seem almost impossible.
This is where Stoic philosophy, with its emphasis on rationality, virtue, and self-control, provides a timeless blueprint.
Stoicism teaches us to focus on what we can control and to let go of what we can’t, fostering a mindset that cultivates inner peace and resilience.
Today, we dive into some things that Stoic people never waste their time on. These principles not only help streamline their lives but also contribute to a deeper sense of contentment and purpose. How many of these time-wasting habits can you eliminate?
Let’s get to it.
01 Complaining
It is evident from their writings that the original stoics viewed complaining as a futile activity that doesn’t change the situation.
Complaining is seen as a waste of energy that could be better spent on actions that lead to positive change. Epictetus, one of the great Stoic philosophers, emphasized the importance of focusing on what we can control and letting go of what we cannot.
He famously said, “External things are not in my power, my will is my own. Where am I to seek what is good and what is evil? Within me.” (The Discourses of Epictetus 1916)
This perspective encourages us to shift our focus from external circumstances to our internal responses. Instead of lamenting over things that have gone wrong or circumstances beyond our control, Stoicism teaches us to take responsibility for our reactions and decisions.
Here are some practical steps to reframe complaints into productive actions:
- Identify the Root Cause: Before you start complaining, pause and identify what exactly is bothering you. Is it something you can control or change? If not, acknowledge it and shift your focus to what you can influence.
- Focus on Solutions: Once you’ve identified the issue, brainstorm potential solutions. Instead of dwelling on the problem, ask yourself, “What can I do to improve this situation?” This shifts your mindset from one of victimhood to empowerment.
- Practice Gratitude: Often, complaints stem from a lack of appreciation for what we have. Take a moment each day to reflect on the positive aspects of your life. This can help reframe your mindset and reduce the tendency to complain.
- Communicate Constructively: If you must express dissatisfaction, do so in a constructive manner. Use “I” statements to express how you feel and what you need, without blaming others. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try, “I feel unheard when we don’t discuss things openly.”
By applying these steps, you can transform complaints into opportunities for growth and improvement, aligning your actions with the Stoic principle of focusing on what you can control and letting go of the rest.
02 Holding Grudges
Marcus Aurelius, a prominent Stoic philosopher (and Roman Emperor), emphasized the importance of compassion and understanding in dealing with those who wrong us.
He told himself in his journal, “When a man offends against you, think at once what conception of good or ill it was which made him offend. And seeing this, you will pity him, and feel neither surprise nor anger.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
This quote underscores the Stoic belief in empathy and the recognition that others’ actions are often driven by their misconceptions and struggles.
To practice forgiveness and move on from past grievances, consider the following methods:
- Empathize with the Offender: Try to understand the perspective and motivations of the person who wronged you. Recognize that their actions may stem from their own pain, ignorance, or flawed beliefs. This can help you develop compassion rather than anger.
- Focus on the Present: Grudges tie you to the past and prevent you from fully engaging with the present moment. Practice mindfulness and concentrate on the here and now, letting go of past hurts that no longer serve you.
- Acknowledge Your Emotions: It’s important to recognize and accept your feelings of anger and hurt before you can move past them. Allow yourself to feel these emotions, but don’t let them control you. Acknowledge them and then choose to let them go.
- Reframe the Experience: View the situation as an opportunity for personal growth and learning. Ask yourself what you can learn from the experience and how it can make you stronger and wiser.
This will help you maintain inner peace and focus on what truly matters in life.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
