Have you ever stopped to think about the phrases you use every day?
Language shapes our reality and impacts how others perceive us, often more than we realize.
Today we dive into some overlooked phrases that might be making you sound less intelligent than you actually are.
How many do you use? Let’s find out.
1) “I’m no expert, but…”
Let’s be honest, we’ve all used this phrase at some point. It’s a quick disclaimer we throw out before sharing our thoughts or ideas, typically in a bid to avoid sounding too assertive or to downplay our knowledge.
However, more often than not, this phrase tends to have the opposite effect. Instead of making you seem humble or considerate, it can actually undermine your credibility before you’ve even begun to share your insights.
When you preface your statements with “I’m no expert, but…”, you’re essentially telling your audience that you don’t fully trust your own knowledge or abilities. This can make them less likely to take what you say seriously.
Remember, confidence in your own understanding and capabilities is key to sounding intelligent. So ditch the disclaimers and simply share your thoughts.
If you’re wrong, that’s okay – it’s a chance to learn and grow. But if you’re right, you’ll come across as knowledgeable and secure in your intelligence.
2) “Like”
This one takes me back to my early days in college. I was in a conversation with my professor after class, and I found myself using “like” way too often. It was, like, every other word.
He gently pointed out how frequently I was using it and suggested I try to cut back on it. I was a bit embarrassed but also grateful for his honesty.
The word “like” is often used as a filler word, much like “um” and “uh”. While it can seem harmless, overusing it can give the impression that you’re uncertain or unprepared.
For example, instead of saying, “The lecture was, like, really interesting”, why not simply say, “The lecture was really interesting”? It sounds more confident and assertive.
Ever since that conversation with my professor, I’ve made a conscious effort to minimize my use of “like”. It wasn’t easy at first, but with practice, my speech has become clearer and more articulate.
3) “To be honest”
This phrase is a common one, often used to preface a statement we believe to be a hard truth. It gives the impression we are about to share something sincere and raw.
However, it has an unintentional side effect. “To be honest” implies that your other statements might not have been truthful. It creates doubt about your honesty in previous conversations.
So, next time before you drop a “to be honest”, think twice. Just state your point without any preface. Your credibility will thank you for it.
4) “I guess”
“I guess” is a phrase we often use when we’re uncertain, hesitant, or trying to sound modest. However, it can easily come off as indecisive and can diminish your perceived intelligence.
Consider the difference between saying, “I guess I did well on the project” versus “I did well on the project”. The first statement sounds unsure and non-committal, while the second is confident and assertive.
Instead of resorting to “I guess”, try stating your thoughts or feelings directly. Your confidence and clarity will not only make you sound more intelligent but also command respect from those around you.
5) “It’s just that…”
The phrase “It’s just that…” is often a lead-in to an excuse or a way of softening a statement that might otherwise sound too harsh or direct.
However, using this phrase can make you seem defensive or unsure of your position. It can also make your statement appear less important than it really is.
For instance, compare “It’s just that I don’t think this plan will work” with “I don’t think this plan will work”. The latter statement is more assertive and confident, right?
If you’re worried about coming off as too harsh, there are other ways to soften your language without undermining your intelligence or credibility. Try simply stating your position and then providing the reasons for it – for example, “I don’t think this plan will work because we haven’t considered all the potential risks”.
6) “I can’t”
The phrase has a way of making us feel defeated, and it doesn’t do any favors for how others perceive our intelligence or capabilities either.
I remember a time when I would often say, “I can’t speak in public”, and I truly believed it. But that belief was actually holding me back from growing and learning.
When we say “I can’t”, we’re closing the door to possibilities. It’s as if we’re putting a limit on our potential. What if instead, we said, “I struggle with public speaking, but I’m working on improving”?
This acknowledges the challenge while also showing a willingness to grow and learn.
7) “Does that make sense?”
Often, when I’m explaining something complex, I find myself tacking on a “Does that make sense?” at the end. While my intention is to check if the listener is following along, this phrase can unintentionally undermine my credibility.
Rather than making sure the other person understands, it can seem as though I’m unsure about the clarity of my own explanation. It subtly sends the message that I might not fully grasp the topic myself.
A better way to ensure understanding without casting doubt on our competence is to ask, “Do you have any questions?” or “Would you like further clarification on any points?” These alternatives convey confidence in our knowledge while still inviting questions and feedback.
8) “I’ll try”
“I’ll try” might seem like a commitment, but it actually leaves room for doubt and failure. By saying this, you’re not fully committing to the task at hand, which can make you appear uncertain or non-committal.
Consider the difference between “I’ll try to finish the report by Friday” and “I’ll finish the report by Friday”. The latter statement is much more definite and exudes confidence in your ability to get the job done.
Instead of saying, “I’ll try,” make a solid commitment. If you’re not sure whether you can fulfil it, be honest about what you can and can’t do. This will not only make you sound more intelligent but also more reliable.
9) “Whatever”
This is a big one.
The term “whatever” can be a conversation killer. It often comes across as dismissive or indifferent, which can undermine the impression of intelligence you want to project.
Rather than resorting to “whatever”, strive to articulate your thoughts more clearly. If you disagree with someone, explain why. If you’re indifferent, say so and provide reasons if necessary.
Remember, intelligent communication is about being clear, respectful, and engaging. Your choice of words plays a crucial role in that process.
Reflecting on our words
Language is a powerful tool, a mirror reflecting our thoughts, ideas, and intelligence. But sometimes, our habitual phrases can cloud this reflection, masking the true depth of our intellect.
Each word we choose to express ourselves either strengthens or weakens our message. The phrases we’ve explored here, while seemingly innocuous, often undermine our communication and diminish the impression of intelligence we wish to convey.
The good news? We have the power to change this. By becoming more aware of our language habits and actively choosing our words, we can ensure that our speech truly reflects our intelligence and capabilities.
So the next time you find yourself about to utter one of these phrases, pause. Reflect on what you’re really trying to say. Choose words that communicate your thoughts clearly and confidently.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
