Every day presents a new opportunity to make a positive impact on someone’s life, and Stoicism provides a roadmap to do that effectively.
You see, Stoicism is not just about enduring hardship. It’s about embracing a practical philosophy that helps us navigate life with wisdom, virtue, and tranquility.
Stoicism also encourages us to act with kindness and integrity. By integrating these principles into our daily lives, we can foster a mindset that promotes both personal growth and positive interactions with others.
In this article, we’ll explore 9 Stoic principles that can help you become a kinder person each day. You’ll see that it’s not about grand gestures but small, meaningful acts.
Let’s dive in!
1) Understand that everyone has their battles
“When a man offends against you, think at once what conception of good or ill it was which made him offend. And seeing this, you will pity him, and feel neither surprise nor anger.” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Stoicism teaches us the importance of empathy and understanding. We all face challenges and have our unique struggles.
Remembering this daily can help us extend kindness to others more naturally.
When someone is rude or unkind, it’s easy to react negatively. But, consider that they might be dealing with something difficult. Their behavior towards you may have more to do with their personal issues than you.
Instead of responding in kind, try to show understanding. You might be surprised at the impact it can have.
This is not always easy to do, but it’s an essential step towards becoming a kinder person every day. And importantly, it’s a choice you have control over, embodying the Stoic principle of focusing on what’s within our control.
This doesn’t mean you should excuse bad behavior, but rather respond with empathy and kindness wherever possible.
2) Practice patience, even when it’s hard
Stoicism emphasizes the virtue of patience, and I can personally vouch for its transformative effects.
There was this situation at work where I had to collaborate with a colleague who was consistently late in meeting deadlines. This began to impact my work and it was incredibly frustrating.
However, instead of losing my cool, I chose to apply the Stoic principle of patience. I sat down with him, tried to understand his perspective, and offered my assistance where possible.
Did it magically fix everything overnight? No, but it helped build a bridge of communication between us and things improved over time.
I learned that patience is not just about waiting but about maintaining a positive attitude while waiting. It’s tough, but trust me, the peace it brings is worth it. And it makes you a kinder person to others and yourself.
3) Embrace the idea of ‘Amor Fati’
In Stoic philosophy, ‘Amor Fati’ is a Latin phrase that translates to ‘love of fate’. It’s about accepting and loving whatever life brings your way, good or bad.
Applying this principle can help us deal with difficult situations with grace and kindness. Instead of complaining or feeling victimized, we can accept the situation and respond in a kind and positive manner.
This might not change the situation itself, but it will certainly change our attitude toward it, and that makes all the difference.
4) Remember, you’re part of a community
“We are all working together to a single end” Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Stoics believed in the universal interconnectedness of all beings. They considered themselves part of a bigger community, not just individuals living isolated lives.
When we acknowledge this interconnectedness, we realize that our actions affect others and vice versa. This encourages us to act with kindness, as we understand that our kindness doesn’t just benefit others but also contributes to the overall well-being of our community.
Whether it’s helping a neighbor, volunteering at a local charity, or just sharing a smile with a stranger, every act of kindness counts. It’s these small acts that strengthen our sense of community and foster mutual respect and understanding.
5) Practice daily reflection
Reflection is a key element of Stoicism. It’s about taking a moment to think about your actions, feelings, and thoughts each day.
Did you act with kindness today? Did you lose your temper? Could you have handled a situation better?
These questions aren’t meant to induce guilt, but to foster self-awareness. When you’re aware of your actions, you can identify areas where you can improve.
Taking time at the end of each day for reflection can help you become more conscious of your behavior and guide you towards becoming a kinder person. Remember, it’s about progress, not perfection. So be kind to yourself during this process, too.
6) Learn to forgive
“He that does good to another man does good also to himself” Seneca (Seneca’s Morals, 1882)
Forgiving someone can be one of the most challenging acts of kindness. But Stoicism teaches us that holding onto anger and resentment only harms us, not the ones who wronged us.
The act of forgiveness isn’t necessarily about letting the other person off the hook but freeing ourselves from the burden of negative emotions. It’s choosing peace over conflict, understanding over resentment.
No matter how deep the hurt, remember that everyone makes mistakes. Maybe they’re struggling with their own issues. Maybe they’re sorry but don’t know how to express it.
Forgiving might not change them, but it will change you. It will make you kinder, and lighter. And that’s a beautiful thing.
7) Practice gratitude daily
Incorporating gratitude into my daily life has been a game-changer.
There was a time when I found myself constantly complaining about what I didn’t have, overlooking all the blessings I did have. It was a draining and unfulfilling way to live.
Then, I started keeping a gratitude journal, jotting down three things I was grateful for each day. Some days it was as simple as a good cup of coffee, or a helpful colleague.
This simple practice shifted my focus from lack to abundance, from negativity to positivity. It made me realize how much I had to be thankful for.
Gratitude not only makes you kinder towards others but also towards yourself. You start appreciating your own value and the value others bring into your life. It’s like viewing the world through a kinder lens.
8) Embrace discomfort
Yes, you read that right. Stoicism teaches us to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Whether it’s dealing with a difficult person, facing a challenging situation, or stepping out of your comfort zone to help someone, discomfort is often a part of the process.
But here’s the thing. It’s in those uncomfortable moments that we truly grow and become kinder, more compassionate beings.
Instead of shying away from discomfort, embrace it. See it as an opportunity to learn, to grow, to become a better version of yourself.
After all, kindness isn’t just about being nice when it’s easy; it’s about being kind even when it’s hard.
9) Be kind to yourself
In the pursuit of being kind to others, we often forget to extend the same kindness to ourselves.
Stoicism teaches us the importance of self-care and self-compassion. It reminds us that we can’t pour from an empty cup.
Take time for yourself. Engage in activities that bring you joy and peace. Treat yourself with the same patience, understanding, and kindness that you offer to others.
Remember, being kind to yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. When you’re kind to yourself, you’re in a better position to be kind to others.
Final thoughts: Kindness is a journey
The essence of Stoicism and kindness is a journey, not a destination. It’s about making a conscious effort, every day, to choose kindness over judgment, understanding over anger, patience over impatience.
As the famous Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius once said, “What does not benefit the hive is not benefit to the bee.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
This captures the spirit of Stoicism and kindness beautifully. When we are kind to others, we create an environment that’s good for everyone, including ourselves.
Kindness is transformative. It’s not just about how you treat others; it’s about how you see yourself and your place in the world.
So take these Stoic principles with you on your journey towards becoming a kinder person each day. Remember, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being better than you were yesterday.
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Until next time, stay kind. Stay Stoic.
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What would Marcus Aurelius say?
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