Life isn’t always the picture-perfect, filtered snapshot that we often present to the world. It’s not just about laughter-filled coffee dates, flawless relationships, or achieving constant peace of mind.
In fact, it’s often the complete opposite.
It’s about confronting the grittier side of existence, the uncomfortable truths that challenge us and push us out of our comfort zones.
But here’s the real deal: if we want to experience true happiness, it’s these hard-to-swallow realities that we need to accept and embrace.
Today, we dive into nine such realities. It might be a bit of a tough journey, but remember, every step forward is a step closer to genuine happiness.
1) Life isn’t always fair
Ever been hit with a curveball that left you thinking “why me?”
We all have.
One of the truths we all have to grapple with is that life isn’t always fair. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things don’t work out the way we want them to. We may lose opportunities, face disappointments, or encounter hardships that seem completely undeserved.
The key to dealing with this reality is not to dwell on the unfairness but to accept it as a part of life. It’s about understanding that everyone has their share of challenges and setbacks.
Instead of focusing on the unfairness of a situation, shift your attention toward how you can grow from it. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not the challenges that define us but how we respond to them.
2) Change is inevitable
Remember that favorite toy you had as a child that you couldn’t imagine your life without? But as you grew older, you no longer needed it. You changed, your interests changed. This simple example from our childhood serves as a poignant reminder that change is an inevitable part of life.
We all face changes – switching jobs, moving cities, losing relationships, growing older. These changes can often be scary and uncomfortable because they take us away from what’s familiar and push us into the unknown.
A personal example of this was when I had to move to a different city for work. I was leaving behind my family, friends, and everything familiar. The change was daunting and filled with uncertainty. But as I began to embrace this change, I discovered new places, formed new relationships, and experienced personal growth in ways I hadn’t imagined.
The truth is, change is not always a bad thing. It often opens doors to new opportunities and experiences that we wouldn’t have had otherwise. As put by Marcus Aurelius:
“Nature loves nothing so much as to change what it is and to create new things in their likeness” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
By accepting and embracing change instead of resisting it, we allow ourselves to grow, evolve, and experience the full richness of life.
3) You can’t please everyone
“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time” – John Lydgate
This is a big one.
In our quest to be liked and accepted, we often find ourselves bending over backwards to meet other people’s expectations. We make choices based on what we think will make others happy or what will make us look good in their eyes. But the reality is, no matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to please everyone.
There will always be people who disagree with your choices or disapprove of your actions, and that’s okay. What’s important is staying true to yourself and making choices that align with your values and beliefs. It’s about understanding that your worth is not determined by others’ opinions of you but by how you see yourself.
Instead of exhausting yourself trying to meet everyone’s expectations, focus on being authentic and true to who you are. In the end, your happiness and peace of mind are far more important than pleasing everyone around you.
4) Failure is part of the journey
So, let’s say you’ve been working hard towards a particular goal – maybe it’s a promotion at work, starting your own business, or running a marathon. You’ve put in the time, the effort, and the sweat. But despite all your dedication, things don’t pan out the way you’ve planned. You fail.
Failure is one of those harsh truths that everyone experiences but no one really wants to talk about.
Worse yet, society often paints failure as a sign of incompetence or weakness. But in truth, failure is an integral part of life’s journey. It’s through failure that we learn, grow, and eventually succeed.
Failure isn’t the end of the road; it’s a stepping stone towards success. It teaches us resilience, humility, and the value of perseverance. Instead of shying away from failure or fearing it, accept it as part of your journey towards growth and success.
As writer Samuel Beckett wrote, “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”
Every successful person has experienced failure at some point. It’s not about how many times you fall but how many times you get up and keep going.
5) Happiness is a choice
According to a study conducted by Harvard University researchers, which has spanned over 75 years, one of the most critical factors for long-term happiness is not wealth or success, but strong personal relationships.
This brings us to our next uncomfortable truth: happiness is a choice.
Yes, external factors can influence our mood and well-being. But at the end of the day, our happiness depends on our internal state of mind and the choices we make — including the relationships we choose to invest in.
Too often, we tie our happiness to external milestones – a dream job, a luxury car, a perfect partner. But the reality is these things can only give temporary joy. True, lasting happiness comes from within – from accepting ourselves, fostering meaningful relationships, and making choices that align with our personal values and beliefs.
It’s about finding joy in the little things, practicing gratitude, and cultivating positive relationships. It’s not a destination but a journey. And it’s a journey you have the power to control.
6) You’re responsible for your own life
I remember a time when I was stuck in a job that I truly despised. The work was monotonous, my boss was overbearing, and I felt undervalued. I found myself constantly complaining about my situation, blaming my boss for my unhappiness and feeling like a victim of circumstance.
One day, a good friend said to me, “If you’re unhappy, why don’t you do something about it instead of just complaining?” It hit me hard but he was right.
It’s so easy to play the blame game when things go wrong. We blame our bosses for our unsatisfactory jobs, our partners for our unhappy relationships, our parents for our insecurities. But the truth is, we are the ones in control of our lives. We are the ones who make decisions and choices that lead us to where we are.
Accepting responsibility for our lives means acknowledging that we have the power to change what we don’t like. If you’re unhappy with your job, look for a new one or invest in skills that can lead to better opportunities. If you’re unsatisfied with your relationships, communicate your feelings or consider seeking professional help.
7) Perfection is an illusion
In today’s world of curated social media feeds and constant comparison, it’s easy to fall into the trap of striving for perfection. We chase after the perfect body, the perfect job, the perfect relationship, and the perfect life. But in reality, none of these exist.
Perfection is a subjective concept, often influenced by societal standards and external validation. What seems perfect to one person may not be for another.
More importantly, chasing after perfection often leads to stress, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy. Some research has even linked perfectionism to depression.
Instead of striving for an unattainable ideal of perfection, focus on progress and personal growth. Embrace your flaws and imperfections – they are what make you unique. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes; they are opportunities for learning and growth. Life isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being real and authentic.
8) You can’t control everything
“Of all existing things some are in our power, and others are not in our power. In our power are thought, impulse, will to get and will to avoid, and, in a word, everything which is our own doing. Things not in our power include the body, property, reputation, office, and, in a word, everything which is not our own doing.” – Epictetus (The Discourses of Epictetus, 1916)
Have you ever planned something meticulously, only for things to take a completely different turn?
Maybe it was a well-planned vacation ruined by unexpected weather, or a project at work that didn’t go as expected despite your meticulous planning. These instances remind us of the next uncomfortable truth: You can’t control everything.
As humans, we crave control. We love to plan, predict, and know exactly what’s going to happen. But life doesn’t work that way. It is unpredictable and full of surprises, both pleasant and unpleasant. No matter how much we plan or prepare, there will always be factors beyond our control.
The key is to distinguish between what we can and can’t control. We can control our actions, our responses, and our attitudes. But we can’t control things like other people’s actions, unforeseen circumstances, or the outcome of our efforts.
Instead of stressing over what you can’t control, focus on what you can. Learn to adapt and adjust your sails according to the winds of life. Accepting this truth not only reduces stress but also helps us remain calm and composed in the face of uncertainty.
The Bottom Line
Life is filled with highs, lows, and everything in between. These uncomfortable truths are part of that journey.
Embracing them won’t necessarily make the journey easy, but it will make it more authentic, enriching, and ultimately, fulfilling.
What do you think about these truths? Have you experienced them in your own life? Do you have others to add to the list?
We’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences, so feel free to share in the comments below. After all, we’re all on this journey together.
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What would Marcus Aurelius say?
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