Ever feel like you’re caught in an endless cycle of emotional upheaval and constant change? Like you’re overwhelmed by a myriad of choices that just adds to the chaos?
If so, it might be time to acquaint yourself with stoicism.
Stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy that promotes self-control and resilience as a way to overcome destructive emotions. It isn’t about eradicating emotions, but rather understanding them and managing them effectively.
Today, we’ll delve into nine practical ways you can incorporate stoicism into your everyday life, helping you become a modern-day stoic.
This isn’t about reviving an ancient practice, but about applying time-tested wisdom to our modern world.
1. Understand and accept what you can and cannot control
Have you ever found yourself stressing over something completely out of your control?
Stoicism teaches us that it’s futile to worry about things we have no power over.
As Epictetus famously said “Of all existing things some are in our power, and others are not in our power. In our power are thought, impulse, will to get and will to avoid, and, in a word, everything which is our own doing. Things not in our power include the body, property, reputation, office, and, in a word, everything which is not our own doing.”
So, how can you apply this to your life?
Start by identifying what’s within your control and what isn’t. You’ll soon realize that while you can’t control external events, you can control how you respond to them.
2. Practice mindfulness
“The true felicity of life is to be free from perturbations, to understand our duties towards God and man: to enjoy the present without any anxious dependence upon the future.” – Seneca (Seneca’s Morals, 1882)
Stoicism and mindfulness go hand in hand. The idea is to live in the present, to be fully aware of what’s happening right now, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
Let’s take an example from my own life: I used to worry constantly about my career, always thinking about the next promotion or the next big project. This constant focus on the future meant I was never truly present or content with where I was.
When I came across stoicism, I realized how counterproductive this was. I began practicing mindfulness, appreciating the present moment, and focusing on the task at hand instead of always looking ahead.
The result? I became happier, more productive, and surprisingly, more successful in my career.
Trust me, give it a try.
3. Embrace adversity
The celebrated stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius once wrote:
“Unlucky am I because this has befallen me.’ Nay rather: ‘Lucky am I because this, though, this befell me, I continue free from sorrow, neither crushed by the present, nor fearing what it to come.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
This statement encapsulates the stoic attitude towards adversity. Stoics believe that challenges aren’t setbacks but opportunities for growth and self-improvement.
Take the example of Thomas Edison. Despite thousands of failed attempts to invent the light bulb, he didn’t see these as failures but as steps on the path to success. He famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
His stoic attitude allowed him to persevere until he finally achieved his goal.
The next time you face a challenge, don’t shy away. Embrace it. See it as an opportunity to develop resilience, learn new skills, and grow stronger.
The path to becoming a stoic is paved with adversity – it’s all about how you face and overcome these challenges that count.
4. Stay calm in the face of negativity
Picture this: You’re stuck in a traffic jam, late for an important meeting, and your frustration is mounting by the minute. Horns are blaring, drivers are shouting, and the chaos is escalating. It’s easy to succumb to anger and stress in such a situation, right?
But here’s where stoicism comes into play.
A stoic understands that getting angry or stressed won’t make the traffic disappear. They know that they cannot control the situation, but they can control their response to it.
So instead of fuming, they remain calm, listen to some music or an audiobook, or simply takes this time to breathe and relax.
By staying calm in the face of negativity, you conserve your energy for things that truly matter and maintain your peace of mind.
5. Cultivate gratitude
Research has shown that practicing gratitude has numerous benefits, from reducing depression and anxiety to improving sleep.
However, the Stoics knew this way before these studies were conducted. As Marcus Aurelius wrote in his journal when he was Roman Emperor “ponder on the most fortunate of what you have got, and on account of them remind ” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Basically, all of the original Stoics preached gratitude, and it continues to be a powerful tool to help us appreciate what we have instead of constantly seeking more. It shifts our focus from what’s missing in our lives to what’s already there.
Try this: At the end of each day, jot down three things you’re grateful for. It could be as simple as a good cup of coffee, a conversation with a friend, or the beauty of a sunset. As you make this a habit, you’ll start to appreciate the little things in life more and more.
6. Live according to your values
Once, in my early twenties, I found myself working in a high-paying job that, on paper, seemed perfect.
But in reality, it was making me miserable.
I was working long hours, had little time for family and friends, and was constantly stressed. Despite the financial rewards, I felt empty because the job didn’t align with my core values of balance, wellness, and meaningful relationships.
Not long after, I found stoicism. Stoics believe that living in accordance with your inner values is key to a fulfilling life. They argue that external achievements or material possessions won’t bring you lasting happiness if they don’t align with your core beliefs.
Take some time to reflect on your values. What truly matters to you? Family? Honesty? Growth?
Whatever they are, ensure your actions align with these values. You’ll find that this congruence brings peace and satisfaction – the mark of a true stoic man.
7. Practice self-discipline
One of the cornerstones of stoicism is self-discipline. But don’t feel too bad. Even Marcus Aurelius, who was Roman Emperor struggles with it sometimes. He wrote:
“At the dawn of day, when you dislike being called, have this thought ready: ‘I am called to man’s labour; why then do I make difficulty of I am going out to do what I was born to do and what I was brought into the world for?” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
It’s about doing what needs to be done, even when you don’t feel like it. It’s about controlling your impulses, resisting temptation, and staying focused on your goals.
So, how can you cultivate self-discipline?
Start with small things. Set a regular sleep schedule and stick to it. Commit to a daily exercise routine, even if it’s just a 15-minute walk. Limit your time spent on social media or watching TV.
As you master these smaller tasks, you’ll build the discipline necessary to tackle bigger challenges.
8. Show kindness and respect to others
Stoicism isn’t just about self-control and resilience; it’s also about our interactions with others. Stoics believe in treating others with kindness and respect, regardless of who they are or how they treat us.
Marcus Aurelius, for instance, wrote, “Don’t any more discuss at large what the good man is like, but be good.”
The next time someone cuts you off in traffic or is rude to you in a meeting, resist the urge to retaliate. Instead, respond with patience and understanding. Not only will this help you stay calm and composed, but it will also set you apart as a true stoic man.
9. Continually seek wisdom
In the journey to becoming a stoic, never stop seeking wisdom.
Stoics are lifelong learners. They understand that there’s always something new to learn, a different perspective to consider, or a fresh challenge to overcome.
Sometimes, this will mean looking like a bit of an amateur, asking silly questions but as put by Epictetus:
“If you wish to make progress, you must be content in external matters to seem a fool and a simpleton” (The Discourses of Epictetus ,1916)
Whether it’s through reading books, attending seminars, or engaging in thoughtful conversations, make it a point to continually broaden your horizons.
And remember that wisdom isn’t just about accumulating knowledge; it’s about applying that knowledge in meaningful and practical ways.
The Bottom Line
Becoming a stoic in the modern world is about mastering self-control, embracing challenges, cultivating gratitude, and treating others with respect. It’s about learning and growing every day.
While this journey may not be easy, the rewards are immense. Not only will you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, but you’ll also significantly enhance your quality of life.
Now, we’d love to hear from you. What are your experiences with stoicism? How have these principles impacted your life? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
