I grew up with a quiet certainty, a belief buried deep within that I was destined for something extraordinary. I think many of us do if we care to admit it .
I’m not sure where it started—maybe it was the constant praise as a child, the stories of prodigies who changed the world, or simply a desire to matter in a way that others didn’t. But this belief was there, always whispering in the background, urging me toward greatness.
For years, this belief felt like a gift, a hidden superpower that would one day reveal itself and catapult me into a life of significance. Yet, as time went on, I began to notice something unsettling: instead of feeling empowered by this belief, I often felt burdened by it. The weight of expectations—my own and those I imagined others had for me—grew heavier with each passing year.
The idea that I was “special”, destined for something great, became less a motivator and more a source of anxiety and dissatisfaction. Every accomplishment felt insufficient, every setback catastrophic. I started to realize that this belief, which I once thought was my greatest asset, was actually holding me back. The more I clung to the idea of being special, the further I drifted from the contentment I so desperately sought.
But what if this belief isn’t the beacon of hope we think it is? What if, instead of guiding us to greatness, it’s actually trapping us in a cycle of endless striving and inevitable disappointment?
This is the question I began to ask myself, and the journey that followed led me to a place of peace I never expected to find.
I want to share this journey with you, not because it’s remarkable, but precisely because it’s not.
It’s a story of letting go—of releasing the need to be special, and in doing so, discovering a deeper, more sustainable form of happiness. It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight, but it’s a change that has transformed my life in ways I never imagined.
And maybe, just maybe, it could do the same for you.
The Turning Point: Recognizing the Cost
The turning point came during a particularly rough period, where despite my efforts, nothing seemed to be going right. The more I tried to force success, the more elusive it became. I felt trapped, constantly comparing myself to an ideal that was not only unattainable but increasingly suffocating.
One evening, as I sat alone, overwhelmed by this relentless chase for significance, I came across a passage by Epictetus: “What disturbs men’s minds is not events but their judgments on events.” (The Discourses of Epictetus , 1916)
It struck me like a bolt of lightning. My misery wasn’t coming from my circumstances—it was coming from my belief that I needed to be exceptional.
This realization was both terrifying and liberating. I saw that I had been the one chaining myself to an impossible standard, allowing my self-worth to be dictated by a fantasy of greatness. I began to see the cost of this belief—how it had robbed me of joy, peace, and contentment. I realized that by clinging to the idea of being special, I was missing out on the simple, yet profound pleasures of life as it was.
Around this time, I picked up Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and it felt like a lifeline. Manson’s brutally honest approach, especially in the chapter about not needing to be exceptional, spoke directly to the belief I had been grappling with.
He explained how the relentless pursuit of being special is a trap—one that leads not to fulfillment, but to constant dissatisfaction. His words echoed what I had begun to realize: that true happiness doesn’t come from standing out in the crowd, but from accepting who you are and finding peace in the ordinary.
This was the moment I started to let go.
It wasn’t an instant transformation, but rather the beginning of a slow, deliberate process of rethinking what it meant to live a good life. The more I questioned the belief that had guided me for so long, the more I saw how much it had taken from me.
And as I let go, I began to feel something I hadn’t felt in a long time: a sense of relief, a lightness that comes from releasing the need to be more than who you are.
The Joy in Simplicity: Discovering New Values
As I continued to let go of the belief that I was meant for something grand, a surprising realization began to take root: my happiness didn’t depend on being extraordinary. Instead, it blossomed in the simplicity of living according to values that truly mattered to me. This was a revelation that redefined my understanding of what it meant to live a fulfilling life.
In the past, I had tied my self-worth to external achievements—career success, recognition, and the idea of leaving a legacy. But as I shed these expectations, I began to see that the pursuit of such goals often led to more stress and dissatisfaction than joy. The more I focused on these external markers, the more I lost sight of what was genuinely important.
Guided by Stoic wisdom, I began to cultivate a life rooted in simplicity and virtue. Seneca’s words, “The true felicity of life is to be free from perturbations… to enjoy the present without any anxious dependence upon the future,” (Seneca’s Morals, 1882) echoed in my mind as I reoriented my priorities.
I realized that the constant striving for more was, in fact, the very thing preventing me from experiencing peace.
By embracing simplicity, I started to find joy in things I had previously overlooked or taken for granted.
A quiet evening spent with a good friend, the satisfaction of a job well done, the comfort of routine—all these small, everyday moments began to take on a deeper significance. They weren’t flashy or remarkable, but they were real, and they grounded me in the present.
This shift in perspective also led me to reevaluate my values. Rather than chasing after goals that society deemed important, I focused on what felt meaningful to me. I began to prioritize kindness, patience, and a sense of community over the relentless pursuit of personal success. I found fulfillment in helping others, not because it made me look good, but because it aligned with the person I wanted to be.
Living by these values brought a quiet contentment that I had never experienced before. I no longer felt the need to compare myself to others or to achieve something extraordinary to feel worthy. The Stoic idea that virtue is its own reward became more than just a philosophical concept—it became a lived reality. The peace that came with this realization was profound.
In this new, simpler life, I found a sense of joy that was far more sustainable than the fleeting highs of external success. It was a joy rooted in the everyday, in the small moments of connection, in the satisfaction of knowing I was living in harmony with my values. And as I embraced this way of life, I discovered a contentment that no amount of recognition or achievement could ever bring.
This journey wasn’t about giving up on ambition or goals; it was about redefining them in a way that brought true fulfillment. By focusing on the things that truly mattered—virtue, relationships, and the present moment—I found a happiness that had eluded me for so long. It was a happiness that didn’t depend on being special, but on being at peace with who I was, right here, right now.
Conclusion: Your Journey, Your Choice
As I reflect on this journey—from the burden of believing I was destined for greatness to the peace found in embracing simplicity—I realize how much has changed.
Letting go of the need to be special was not just about releasing a single belief; it was about transforming my entire approach to life. It required me to confront my fears, challenge my assumptions, and ultimately, redefine what it means to live a good life.
The shift was not immediate, nor was it always easy. But with each step, I discovered a deeper sense of contentment that had always been within reach, hidden beneath layers of expectation and self-imposed pressure. I came to understand that happiness doesn’t come from being exceptional in the eyes of the world, but from being at peace with oneself.
Now, I invite you to consider your own journey. Ask yourself: How much of your life is spent striving for something more, something grander, something that you believe will finally make you feel complete? And what would happen if, instead, you allowed yourself to find contentment in the life you already have, in the person you already are?
Your journey is your own, and the choices you make will define the path you walk. But if there’s one lesson I’ve learned, it’s that the pursuit of greatness often comes at the cost of the very things that make life meaningful. In letting go of the need to be special, I found a deeper, more enduring form of success—one that is rooted in virtue, simplicity, and a quiet joy that comes from within.
So, I leave you with this thought: You don’t have to be special to live a fulfilling life. You just have to be present, be true to yourself, and find peace in the everyday moments that make life worth living. It’s a choice that transformed my life, and it might just do the same for you.
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