For as long as I can remember, friends and acquaintances have often dubbed me as “emotionless.” They didn’t mean it in a cruel way, but rather in an intrigued, somewhat puzzled manner.
I was the guy who didn’t flinch in the face of adversity, or get overexcited during joyous moments. I was always calm, collected – seemingly emotionless.
But the truth was, I wasn’t devoid of feelings. I was just instinctively following a stoic philosophy without even being aware of it.
Living in New York City for the better part of my twenties, my stoic demeanor was often mistaken for apathy or even arrogance. The city that never sleeps is known for its high energy and constant stream of emotions, from euphoria to despair.
And there I was, a calm island amidst a stormy sea of emotions, which led to many a misunderstanding.
It wasn’t until a friend introduced me to the teachings of Marcus Aurelius that I realized what made me different. I found myself genuinely relating to the principles of stoicism. It was as if someone had put into words what I had been instinctively practicing my whole life.
The realization was liberating. Suddenly, I found myself eager to explore this newfound connection to stoicism further and delve deeper into its teachings.
What surprised me most though was how misunderstood stoicism is in our society and how its principles could offer a solution to the stress and anxiety that seems to plague so many people today.
Now back in my hometown of Chicago after a decade in New York, adjusting to the slower pace of life has been as much of a shock as discovering my affinity for stoicism.
And with this newfound understanding of my ’emotionless’ demeanor, I find myself eager to share how following a stoic philosophy has shaped my outlook on life and helped me navigate the tumultuous sea of human emotions.
Discovering the Stoic Philosophy
My introduction to stoicism came in the form of a book, “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius. A friend had recommended it to me, not knowing how profoundly it would resonate with my personality.
Reading it was like finding a missing piece of a puzzle. I finally had an answer for my ’emotionless’ demeanor – I was a stoic.
The principles of stoicism teach us to stay calm and composed, no matter the situation. Whether it’s a moment of joy or a moment of distress, the stoic philosophy encourages us to accept and observe our emotions without letting them control us.
It was the philosophy I had been following instinctively, without even knowing it.
Living in New York, I often found myself in situations that tested my patience and resilience. From the hectic corporate lifestyle to the never-ending city hustle, I faced every circumstance with the same calm demeanor.
My friends were perplexed by my ’emotionless’ reaction to these situations but for me, it was as natural as breathing.
Many people have misconceptions about what it means to be stoic, often associating it with lack of empathy or emotional disconnect. But my experience has been quite the opposite.
In the next section, I’ll be sharing why this perspective is so different from what many believe about stoicism and how it’s helped me navigate life’s ups and downs without losing my calm.
Challenging the misconceptions about Stoicism
Contrary to what many believe, stoicism isn’t about suppressing emotions. It’s not about being ’emotionless’ or indifferent.
It’s about understanding, acknowledging, and managing our emotions in a balanced way. Many people misunderstand this and equate stoicism with emotional disconnect or lack of empathy.
My perspective, however, challenges this myth. I’ve learned that being a stoic doesn’t mean I don’t feel emotions.
Quite the opposite, I feel them deeply but I choose not to let them control me.
I acknowledge my feelings, whether of joy, anger, or sadness, but I don’t let them dominate my actions or state of mind.
This is where the misconception stems from. People see the calm exterior and assume there’s a lack of emotion, when in reality, it’s just emotional management.
Stoicism has taught me to remain composed in high-stress situations, to embrace life’s ups and downs with equanimity, and to practice empathy without getting emotionally overwhelmed.
The truth is, stoicism has helped me navigate life’s challenges with grace and resilience. It’s not about being ’emotionless,’ it’s about emotional strength and balance.
In the following section, I’ll discuss how embracing stoicism has allowed me to lead a more balanced and fulfilling life and why it might just be the antidote to our modern stress-filled existence.
Embracing emotional balance
If you find yourself relating to my experiences, and maybe you’re also often labeled as ’emotionless’, you too might be instinctively following a stoic philosophy. To better understand your emotions and how you handle them, I recommend doing what I did: delve into the teachings of stoicism.
Start by reading the works of ancient stoics, like Marcus Aurelius or Seneca. They provide practical advice on leading a balanced life. You’ll likely find, as I did, that their words resonate with your own approach to handling emotions.
Next, practice mindfulness. Stoicism is all about being present and accepting our feelings without letting them control us. Mindfulness meditation can be a helpful tool in this process. It has certainly helped me maintain my emotional balance.
Remember, it’s not about suppressing your emotions, it’s about managing them. Acknowledge what you’re feeling, but don’t let those feelings dictate your actions or thoughts.
This is the essence of stoicism, and understanding this has helped me maintain my calm demeanor without being perceived as ’emotionless’.
Finally, don’t let misconceptions deter you. Being called ’emotionless’ isn’t a critique; it’s often just a misunderstanding. Embrace your stoic nature, and use it as a strength to navigate life with resilience and balance.
Finding empowerment in your own journey
When we think about life, and especially our reactions to life’s challenges, it’s crucial to remember that we shape our own narrative. Stoicism taught me this valuable lesson, and it’s something I strive to apply in all aspects of my life.
Let’s start by taking responsibility for our situation. In my case, I was often labeled as ’emotionless’. Instead of getting defensive or denying it, I chose to understand why I was perceived this way.
This mindset shift increased my personal power and helped me make sense of my stoic nature.
Next, learn to think for yourself. Don’t fall prey to societal expectations or cultural programming. I had to break away from the notion that being calm and composed made me ’emotionless’.
Embracing stoicism was my way of living on my terms, of moving forward with purpose.
Lastly, seek self-empowerment by breaking free from societal expectations. For me, this meant embracing my stoic nature rather than fighting it. It was about aligning my life with my true nature and not what others expected of me.
Remember, it’s your journey. The beauty lies in self-exploration and reshaping your reality based on what you discover about yourself.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
