Life has its ups and downs, but sometimes, we’re our own worst enemy. We make choices that complicate things more than necessary.
I’m talking about those habits or actions that end up making our lives harder than they need to be. And let’s be honest, we all have them.
Today, we get into seven such habits.
The goal isn’t to chastise or to point fingers. Rather, it’s to shed light on these aspects so that we can make the necessary changes for a simpler and more enjoyable life.
Stick around; you might find a few things you’re guilty of!
1) Overthinking
We’ve all been there. Constantly ruminating over a decision, worrying about the future, or replaying past events.
Overthinking is a common human tendency. But here’s the thing – it doesn’t actually solve anything. In fact, it often makes things worse.
When we overthink, we create problems that weren’t there in the first place. We stress ourselves out, lose sleep, and waste time that could be spent on productive action or enjoying life.
Don’t get me wrong – it’s important to think things through. But there’s a fine line between careful thought and overthinking.
When you find yourself stuck in a loop of repetitive thoughts, try to take a step back. Redirect your energy towards something more productive, or simply allow yourself to let go and relax.
2) Procrastination
Ah, procrastination. My old nemesis. We’ve all been guilty of it – pushing tasks off until the last minute, telling ourselves we’ll do it “later”.
I remember a time when I had a project due at work. It was a big one, and I kept telling myself I’d start tomorrow. Tomorrow turned into the next day, then the next week. Before I knew it, the deadline was looming and I had barely started.
I spent several stressful nights working late to catch up, all while kicking myself for not starting earlier. If I had just tackled it head on, I wouldn’t have had to pull those late nights and my work would have been of better quality.
Procrastination seems like the easy option in the moment, but it always comes back to bite us. It adds unnecessary stress, reduces the quality of our work, and often results in missed opportunities.
More than this, studies have linked putting things off like this to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
Just do it now.
3) Neglecting self-care
Self-care is more than just pampering yourself with a luxurious bubble bath or indulging in a fancy meal. It’s about taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health.
And as noted by experts like clinical psychologist Monica Vermani C. Psych, it’s ” linked to improved mental health, self-esteem, self-worth, and optimism.”
Ignoring self-care can lead to this state of complete exhaustion, which doesn’t just affect your work performance. It impacts your overall quality of life.
You might think that skipping meals, pulling all-nighters, or neglecting exercise might save you time and help you get more done. But in the long run, it damages your health and your productivity takes a hit.
Take care of yourself. Eat well-balanced meals, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and take time to relax and do things you enjoy. Caring for yourself isn’t indulgent – it’s necessary for a balanced and fulfilling life.
4) Trying to please everyone
“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time” ― John Lydgate
It’s in our nature to want to be liked. We often go out of our way to make others happy, even if it comes at a cost to our own happiness or well-being.
But here’s a hard truth – you can’t please everyone. And trying to do so can leave you feeling drained, stressed, and unfulfilled.
When you constantly bend over backwards for others, you may neglect your own needs and desires. Plus, people may start to take advantage of your generosity.
It’s important to set boundaries and learn to say no when necessary. Prioritize your own needs and make decisions based on what’s best for you, not just what will make others happy.
You’re not being selfish – you’re practicing self-respect. And those who truly care about you will understand and respect your decisions too.
5) Fear of failure
I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist. I used to believe that anything less than perfect was a failure. This fear kept me from taking risks or trying new things because I didn’t want to face the possibility of not being successful.
One day, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and try something that I had always wanted to do – learn to play the guitar. I was terrible at first. I couldn’t get my fingers to move the right way, and my attempts at playing a tune sounded more like noise than music.
But instead of giving up, I kept practicing. And guess what? I got better. I’m not a professional musician by any means, but I can strum out a few songs and have fun doing it.
The fear of failure can hold us back from growing and experiencing new things. But remember – failure isn’t the end of the world. It’s an opportunity to learn, grow, and become better. So don’t let fear stop you from chasing your dreams or trying something new.
6) Holding onto grudges
It’s normal to feel hurt or angry when someone wrongs you. But holding onto those negative feelings for a long time, nurturing resentment and grudges, can actually harm you more than the person who caused the pain.
Grudges can consume your thoughts, drain your energy, and get in the way of your happiness.
On the other hand, as noted by Harvard Health, forgiveness is associated with lower levels of depression, anxiety,
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re condoning the wrong behavior or forgetting what happened. It means choosing to let go of the resentment and anger for your own peace of mind.
Basically, it’s a gift you give yourself – it allows you to move on and make room for positive emotions.
7) Avoiding change
“There is a kind of river of things passing into being, and Time is a violent torrent. For no sooner is each seen, than it has been carried away and another is being carried by, and that, too, will be carried away.” Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Change is a natural part of life. It’s how we grow. However, many of us resist it because it’s uncomfortable and unknown.
Avoiding change means staying in your comfort zone, repeating the same patterns even if they’re not serving you well. It leads to stagnation, rather than growth.
Embracing change, on the other hand, opens up new opportunities. It pushes us to adapt, learn new things, and become more resilient.
Don’t shy away from change. Instead, view it as an opportunity. It might be challenging initially, but in the long run, it can lead to a richer and more fulfilling life.
Final thoughts: It’s all about self-awareness
Our habits and behaviors are deeply intertwined with our perception of life. The way we respond to situations, our thought processes, and our actions significantly shape our experience.
The seven habits discussed could be creating dissonance in your life – making it harder than it needs to be. But awareness is the first step towards change.
Reflect on these habits. Are you guilty of any? If yes, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, use this understanding as a catalyst for change.
It’s not about achieving perfection but about striving for a better version of ourselves. After all, a fulfilling life is not free of challenges but one where we’ve learned to navigate them with wisdom and grace.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
