There’s a distinctive difference between feeling lonely and genuinely enjoying solitude.
Enjoying your own company isn’t a sign of antisocial tendencies, rather it could indicate that you possess certain traits associated with stoicism.
Stoicism, an ancient philosophy, values wisdom, courage and inner peace among other virtues. It’s about finding contentment within yourself, rather than in the external world.
If you find solace in solitude, you might unknowingly be practicing stoic principles.
Let’s dive into the eight stoic traits that solitude lovers often exhibit.
1) Self-Sufficiency
Stoicism is about accepting what we can control and letting go of what we can’t, and one of the things we have the most control over is ourselves.
Those who enjoy their own company often display a high degree of self-sufficiency, a key stoic trait. They don’t rely on others for their happiness or sense of fulfillment but find it within themselves instead.
This doesn’t mean they’re antisocial or don’t value relationships. Rather, they understand that inner peace comes from within, not from external factors.
If you’re someone who finds contentment in solitude, chances are you’ve mastered the art of being self-sufficient. You don’t need constant validation or approval from others to feel satisfied – and that’s a strong trait of stoicism.
Being self-sufficient is about embracing independence, not isolation. And there’s a significant difference between the two.
2) Embrace of Reality
Stoics believe in accepting reality as it is, not as we wish it to be. This trait is often visible in those who prefer solitude.
For instance, I recall a time in my life when I faced a significant personal challenge. I was entangled in a complicated relationship and found myself feeling drained and unhappy more often than not. It was during this time that I discovered the power of solitude.
I began to spend more time alone, using the quiet moments to reflect on my situation. Instead of wishing things were different, I started to confront the reality of my circumstances. I recognized that the relationship was toxic and that I had the power to change my situation.
This acceptance of reality wasn’t easy, but it was liberating. It gave me the courage to make necessary changes and move towards a healthier state of mind. In retrospect, this was a clear application of stoic philosophy.
If you enjoy being alone, you might also have this ability to confront and accept reality, making it another sign of stoic traits in your personality.
3) Control over Emotions
Stoicism places great emphasis on emotional resilience. It’s not about suppressing emotions but rather understanding and managing them effectively.
Those who enjoy solitude often demonstrate this trait. They understand that emotions are a natural part of life but also know that they have the power to control their reactions to them.
Consider the teachings of Epictetus, a famous Stoic philosopher. He once said, “People are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them.” In essence, it’s not the situations we face but our perceptions of them that determine our emotional responses.
So, if you’re someone who savors alone time, it might be because you understand this concept. You know that solitude provides the space to process emotions without external influences, leading to better emotional management—a true sign of stoicism.
4) Contentment with Simplicity
Stoics find beauty and satisfaction in simplicity. They believe that less is more, and this trait is often reflected in those who seek solitude.
If you genuinely enjoy being alone, you might find that you don’t need much to be happy. A quiet room, a good book, a peaceful walk in the park might be all you need to feel content.
This appreciation for simplicity goes hand in hand with the stoic belief in reducing desires. Stoics argue that by wanting less, we can limit disappointment and increase our gratitude for what we already have.
5) Internal Reflection
Stoics believe in the power of introspection and self-reflection. They understand that self-awareness is key to personal growth and wisdom.
Those who enjoy solitude often have a similar perspective. Alone time provides the perfect setting for deep reflection, allowing us to understand ourselves better.
I know this might sound a bit intense, but there’s something truly beautiful about it. It’s like taking a journey within yourself, discovering your deepest thoughts and feelings, and understanding what truly matters to you.
If you find yourself spending time reflecting on your actions, thoughts, or emotions when you’re alone, it’s another sign that you might have stoic traits. This ability to turn inwards and learn from our experiences is what helps us grow as individuals.
6) Acceptance of Change
In stoic philosophy, change is regarded as a natural part of life. Stoics believe in embracing change rather than resisting it, understanding that everything in life is transient.
There was a time when I found this concept incredibly challenging. I had to bid farewell to a city I’d called home for years and relocate to an entirely new place. It was a daunting prospect, leaving behind friends, familiar places, and cherished memories.
However, spending time alone helped me navigate this change. I began to see it not as an ending, but as the beginning of a new chapter. I started to embrace the idea that change brings new opportunities and experiences.
If you enjoy solitude, it might be because it allows you to process and accept changes in your life. This acceptance of change is yet another trait linked to stoicism.
7) Mindfulness
Stoics practice mindfulness, focusing on the present moment rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
Those who enjoy solitude often display this trait. They use their alone time to be present, to fully engage with what they’re doing, whether it’s reading a book, listening to music, or simply sitting quietly.
In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle and forget to live in the now. But if you’re someone who savors your alone time, chances are you understand the value of being present and appreciating the moment.
This ability to be mindful, to truly exist in the now, is a fundamental aspect of stoicism. And it’s something that can significantly enhance our quality of life.
8) Inner Peace
The ultimate goal of stoicism is achieving inner peace, a state of calm and tranquility regardless of external circumstances.
If you enjoy being alone, it’s quite possible that you’ve found this inner peace. You’ve discovered the joy in solitude, the serenity in silence, and the tranquility in your own company.
This ability to find peace within oneself, regardless of what’s happening around us, is perhaps the most profound stoic trait one can possess. It’s not just about being comfortable in your own skin, but about finding a deep sense of calm and contentment within yourself.
And that, my friend, is a truly wonderful thing.
The Essence of Solitude
At the heart of it all, stoicism and the enjoyment of solitude share a common thread – the quest for inner peace and understanding.
These eight traits we’ve explored, from self-sufficiency to mindfulness, all contribute to a deeper sense of awareness and acceptance. They’re about finding contentment within ourselves and our circumstances, rather than seeking validation or happiness from external sources.
Marcus Aurelius, a renowned Stoic philosopher, once said, “He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe.”
If you find comfort and joy in solitude, you’re likely living in harmony with yourself. You’ve discovered the art of being your own companion, finding peace within your own thoughts and experiences.
Whether you realize it or not, you’re practicing principles of stoicism that have been admired for centuries. And that’s something truly remarkable.
So next time you find yourself alone, take a moment to appreciate this. Reflect on these traits and how they manifest in your life. It’s more than just enjoying solitude; it’s a testament to your strength, wisdom, and inner peace.
Embrace it. Celebrate it. You’re part of an ancient tradition of thinkers who found contentment within themselves – and that’s something truly beautiful.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
