Often, the people around us are battling inner demons we know nothing about.
Spotting the signs can be tricky, especially when someone is trying to hide their pain.
In this post, we’ll explore some signs that suggest someone might be concealing their inner struggles. While these signs may not provide a definitive answer, they can certainly offer a starting point for gauging the emotional well-being of those around you.
Let’s decipher these subtle hints. This understanding could potentially help you lend a supportive hand when it’s needed most.
1) They have become unusually quiet
In the hustle and bustle of life, silence can often go unnoticed. But when someone who is usually chatty and engaging becomes unusually quiet, it can be a sign of inner turmoil.
This doesn’t mean that every quiet person is struggling inside, but a sudden or noticeable change in someone’s communication pattern might indicate they are dealing with something internally.
Bottling up feelings is a common method people use to cope with overwhelming emotions. They might not want to burden others with their problems or they may be trying to maintain an image of strength and composure.
But as we all know, silence can speak volumes. If you notice this shift in someone close to you, it might be time to gently reach out and let them know you’re there for them.
This isn’t about prying or forcing them to talk. It’s about offering a safe space for them to open up if they choose to.
2) They are overly cheerful
Ironically, someone hiding their inner turmoil might seem excessively happy or cheerful. It sounds counterintuitive, but it’s a common coping mechanism.
This sudden shift to an overly positive demeanor can be a way of overcompensating for the emotional pain they’re feeling inside. By projecting an image of happiness, they hope to convince others (and sometimes themselves) that everything is fine.
Think about the times you’ve plastered on a smile to hide your true feelings. It’s a universal tactic we’ve all used at some point.
However, when it’s sustained over a period of time and seems out of character, it might be a sign of someone wrestling with inner turmoil.
3) They are increasingly self-reliant
Sometimes, people dealing with inner turmoil become determined to handle everything on their own. They might start rejecting help or insisting on doing things independently. It’s as if they’re trying to prove to themselves that they can manage their life, despite the turmoil brewing inside.
I’ve seen this happen countless times in my years as a relationship expert. In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss how this can be a way of avoiding vulnerability and maintaining control.
But everyone needs help sometimes, and it’s okay to lean on others. If someone you know is suddenly pushing away offers of assistance or trying to do everything themselves, it might be a sign they’re hiding something deeper.
Try to offer your support in a non-intrusive way and assure them that it’s okay to share their burdens.
4) They are neglecting self-care
Personal grooming and self-care are often the first things to go when someone is dealing with inner turmoil. You might notice their appearance becoming unkempt, or they might skip meals and lose sleep.
In my experience, this is a clear cry for help. It indicates that they’re so consumed with their internal struggles that they’re neglecting their physical health and well-being.
When I went through my personal struggles, there were days when even the simplest tasks felt like climbing Mount Everest. If you see a loved one facing similar issues, it’s essential to step in.
Offer to spend some time with them, go for a walk, or even just share a meal together. These small gestures can go a long way in showing them that they’re not alone in their battle.
5) They are isolating themselves
When dealing with inner turmoil, some people tend to isolate themselves. It’s as if they’re building a wall to keep everyone out, hiding their pain behind silence and solitude.
This isolation can manifest in different ways. They might avoid social gatherings, stop answering calls, or even retreat from online interactions.
I’ve experienced this firsthand. There were times when I felt like being alone was easier than explaining my turmoil to others. And I’m sure many of you have felt the same.
But as the brilliant poet John Donne once said, “No man is an island.” We all need human connection to thrive and heal.
Don’t hesitate to reach out if you notice this sign in someone you care about. A simple message or a hug can remind them that they’re not alone.
A final thought
Navigating the complexities of human emotions can be a challenging task. Each individual’s inner world is as unique as their fingerprint, making it near impossible to have a one-size-fits-all approach when trying to understand their struggles.
However, the signs we’ve discussed give us a window into their world. They help us understand when someone might be grappling with inner turmoil, even when they’re trying to hide it.
In my journey as a relationship expert, I’ve realized that empathy, patience, and understanding are our best tools when dealing with such situations. It’s about offering support without pushing boundaries, showing care without smothering, and above all, respecting their feelings and their pace.
Everyone has their battles and everyone has their pace of healing. Often, the best we can do is be there for them when they need us.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
