Let’s be honest, relationships can be tough. But what if I told you there was a simple, yet effective way to ensure your relationship stays happy and lasts?
As a relationship expert, I’ve spent years studying and experiencing relationships, and one philosophy that has consistently proven effective is Stoicism.
Stoicism isn’t just an ancient philosophy; it’s a practical tool that can do wonders for your relationship. It’s all about understanding and managing emotions, which are the heart of any relationship.
In my journey, I’ve discovered some key Stoic practices that can transform your relationship for the better. These aren’t tricks or quick fixes. They are habits that you incorporate into your daily life.
So stick with me, and I’ll guide you through them.
1) Embrace the concept of amor fati
Amor fati is a Latin phrase that translates to “love of fate”. It’s a fundamental principle in Stoicism which encourages us to accept and even embrace whatever happens in life, good or bad.
In relationships, there will always be ups and downs. Arguments, misunderstandings, and conflicts are inevitable. But instead of resisting or running away from these challenges, Stoicism teaches us to accept them as part of our shared journey.
Embracing amor fati doesn’t mean you become passive or stop trying to improve your relationship. Far from it! Rather, it’s about accepting reality as it is and then working together to navigate through the challenges.
Practicing amor fati reframes how you view difficulties in your relationship. Instead of seeing them as problems, you see them as opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.
So next time you face a challenge in your relationship, remember the concept of amor fati. Accept it, embrace it, and work through it together. It’s a powerful way to ensure your relationship remains strong and lasting.
2) Practice daily gratitude
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to focus on what’s going wrong in your relationship, rather than what’s going right? It’s human nature, but Stoicism offers a valuable antidote: the practice of daily gratitude.
As someone who’s been through the highs and lows of relationships, I can tell you that focusing on the positive makes a world of difference. And I am not alone in thinking this.
As Oprah Winfrey once said, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
Gratitude is a powerful practice. It shifts your focus from what’s missing in your relationship to what’s present. This simple shift in perspective can dramatically increase your happiness and satisfaction in your relationship.
Start by expressing gratitude for the little things your partner does. Maybe they made you breakfast, or maybe they just gave you a smile when you needed it most. Whatever it is, take a moment each day to appreciate these actions.
The more gratitude you express, the more positivity you invite into your relationship.
3) Understand the dichotomy of control
One of the most powerful concepts in Stoicism is the dichotomy of control. This principle teaches us to distinguish between what we can control and what we cannot.
In relationships, this means understanding that you can’t control your partner’s actions or feelings, but you can control your own reactions and attitudes.
This was a major turning point for me personally. Once I realized I couldn’t change others but could change my responses to them, it freed me from unnecessary stress and anxiety.
Learning to focus on what you can control – your actions, your thoughts, your responses – can significantly improve the quality of your relationship. It promotes understanding, patience, and ultimately, happiness.
4) Seek discomfort
Now, here’s a Stoic practice that might seem counterintuitive: seeking discomfort. But trust me, it’s not as strange as it sounds.
Stoics believed in the value of voluntary discomfort. They would intentionally put themselves in uncomfortable situations to build resilience and learn to manage hardship.
In the context of a relationship, seeking discomfort doesn’t mean inviting unnecessary drama or conflict. Instead, it means stepping out of your comfort zone for the sake of growth and understanding.
Maybe it’s having that difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding, or perhaps it’s admitting when you’re wrong. It might be uncomfortable, but these acts foster honesty, vulnerability, and ultimately bring you closer together.
5) Practice mindful listening
Listening is an art, and in my experience, it’s one that can truly make or break a relationship. That’s why mindful listening is another practice I highly recommend incorporating into your everyday life.
Stoicism encourages us to be present in every moment, and there’s no better way to show this than by truly listening to your partner. I mean really listening, not just waiting for your turn to speak.
This simple act shows your partner that you value their thoughts and feelings. It fosters deeper understanding, empathy, and connection.
6) Accept imperfection
Here’s a raw truth that we often forget: no one is perfect. Not you, not your partner, nor your relationship.
And that’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay; it’s human.
In a relationship, accepting imperfection means understanding that your partner will not always meet your expectations. They will have their off days, their quirks, their own unique ways of doing things. And you will too.
When we strive for perfection in a relationship, it often leads to disappointment and resentment. But when we accept imperfection, it cultivates compassion, understanding, and unconditional love.
So let go of the idea of a perfect partner or a perfect relationship. Instead, celebrate the beautifully imperfect journey you’re on together. It’s in this acceptance that true love thrives.
7) Embrace change
Lastly, but certainly not least, is the Stoic principle of embracing change. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s an integral part of life and relationships.
Nothing in life is permanent. People grow, feelings evolve, and circumstances change. It’s natural, but it can also be scary, especially when it comes to relationships.
However, resisting change often leads to conflict and stagnation. On the other hand, embracing change allows for growth and evolution.
Your relationship will not stay the same forever, and that’s a good thing. It means you’re growing together and individually. It means you’re alive.
Don’t fear change. Welcome it. Embrace it. And see how it strengthens your relationship in ways you never imagined.
Conclusion
There you have it, 7 Stoic practices to incorporate into your daily life for a happier and lasting relationship.
These practices aren’t quick fixes. They’re daily habits that require commitment and effort. But with time, they can transform your relationship in profound ways.
Did you find this article valuable? If so, why not sign for our newsletter below to stay updated with our latest posts and insights?
Keep learning.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
