Aging gracefully isn’t just about looking good, it’s about feeling good too.
It’s about being at peace with yourself, and that’s not always an easy task. There are certain habits we all cling to that can hinder our ability to find inner peace as we age.
The trick is knowing what these habits are and learning to let them go. Trust me, it’s easier said than done, but absolutely worth it.
In this article, I’ll be sharing 7 habits you need to say goodbye to if you want to truly be at peace with yourself as you age.
Let’s get to ’em.
1) Living in the past
“Each of us lives only in the present, this brief moment; the rest is either a life that is past or is an uncertain future” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
It’s easy to dwell on the past, especially as we age. The “good old days” can often seem more appealing than the present moment.
But the truth is, continuously living in the past can rob you of your peace. It can keep you stuck, unable to appreciate what you have now, or look forward to what’s coming next.
I know it’s easier said than done, but focusing on the present is a crucial step towards finding peace. It’s all about acknowledging your past without letting it dictate your present.
Letting go of this habit doesn’t mean forgetting your past, but rather learning from it and moving forward. This way, you allow yourself to live fully in the present and embrace your future with open arms.
Remember, every day is a new chance to make memories and create a life you love. So let’s start living in the now, shall we?
2) Neglecting self-care
Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days. It’s about taking care of your mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Yet, as we age, it’s a habit that often gets pushed aside.
Neglecting to take care of yourself can lead to a myriad of health problems, both mental and physical. And it certainly doesn’t contribute to inner peace.
So, make it a habit to take time out for yourself every day. No matter how busy you are, there’s always time for self-care.
3) Trying to please everyone
“I often wonder how it is that every one loves himself more than all the world and yet takes less account of his own judgement of himself than of the judgement of the world.” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Ah, the people pleaser’s trap. I’ve been there more times than I can count.
I recall a time in my life when I was constantly bending over backward to accommodate others, often at the expense of my own peace and happiness.
It took a lot of self-reflection for me to realize that it’s simply impossible to please everyone. And more importantly, it’s not my responsibility.
The moment I started prioritizing my own needs and setting healthy boundaries, I noticed a significant shift in my inner peace.
Sure, it was uncomfortable initially, and yes, some people didn’t like it. But eventually, I realized those who truly cared about me respected my boundaries.
If you’re like how I used to be and constantly trying to please everyone, take a step back. Recognize that your peace is far more important than appeasing everyone else. Establish your boundaries and stick to them.
4) Comparing yourself to others
I remember scrolling through social media feeds, feeling a pang of envy as I saw friends and acquaintances living what seemed like perfect lives. It was as if everyone else had it all figured out while I was still struggling to find my footing.
This comparison game is a slippery slope. It’s easy to look at others and think they have it better.
But the truth is, everyone has their own battles, their own challenges. What we see on the surface rarely reflects the whole story.
The moment I decided to stop comparing myself to others and instead focus on my own journey, things started to shift. I found myself feeling happier, more content, and most importantly, more at peace.
The only person you should be competing with is the person you were yesterday.
5) Holding onto grudges
“Are you angry with the man whose person or whose breath is rank? What will anger profit you?” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Holding onto grudges is like carrying a heavy backpack everywhere you go. It weighs you down and prevents you from moving forward freely.
Let’s face it, people make mistakes. And sometimes, those mistakes hurt us deeply. But holding onto that anger and resentment does more harm to us than it does to the person who wronged us.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool for finding inner peace. It’s not about letting the other person off the hook or forgetting what they did. It’s about choosing to let go of the negative emotions that are holding you back.
Each time you choose to forgive, you’re taking a step towards finding the peace within yourself.
6) Overthinking everything
While it’s important to think things through, there’s a fine line between careful consideration and over-analysis.
The latter can lead to analysis paralysis, where you’re so caught up in weighing all the options that you end up not making any decision at all.
It’s crucial to understand that not every decision needs to be perfect. Sometimes, good enough is just that – good enough. And often, taking action and adjusting along the way is better than not taking action at all due to overthinking.
7) Ignoring your feelings
When it comes to finding inner peace, this is perhaps the most crucial habit to let go of.
Ignoring or suppressing your feelings is like putting a band-aid on a wound that needs stitches. It might cover up the problem temporarily, but it doesn’t actually heal it.
Emotions are our body’s way of communicating with us. They tell us when something’s not right, when we need to make a change, or when we need to take care of ourselves.
Instead of ignoring your feelings, try acknowledging and accepting them. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or anxious. These emotions don’t define you; they’re simply part of the human experience.
The essence: It’s a journey
The journey towards inner peace often intertwines with the process of aging. It’s a path paved with introspection, acceptance, and letting go.
What we need to understand is that inner peace is not a destination, but a continuous journey. It’s about embracing our authentic selves, acknowledging our feelings, and releasing the habits that no longer serve us.
Shedding these seven habits is not an overnight transformation. It’s a gradual process of self-discovery and growth. And through each step, remember to be gentle with yourself.
So as you continue this journey, remember that it’s okay to stumble, it’s okay to take your time. The most important thing is that you’re moving forward, one step at a time towards a more peaceful you.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
