Life is full of surprises and not always the pleasant kind. It’s like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded – thrilling, yes, but also a bit terrifying.
We’re all on this ride, aiming to become the ‘best version of ourselves.’ Sounds like a fancy phrase from a self-help book, right? But what does it really mean? And how do we even start this transformation?
The answer may lie in the ancient philosophy of Stoicism.
This isn’t some antiquated concept irrelevant to your life. In fact, these ideas are as practical today as they were when first proposed by folks like Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca.
So, buckle up and prepare yourself for an enlightening journey. Today, I’ll introduce you to some key stoic habits to help you navigate life’s ups and downs.
Ready to roll? Let’s say hello to becoming your best self.
1) Practice acceptance
Have you ever found yourself fighting against situations that are simply beyond your control?
It’s frustrating, draining, and ultimately, futile. The first stoic habit we’ll explore is acceptance.
This doesn’t mean becoming a doormat or not standing up for yourself. Rather, it’s about understanding the difference between what you can change and what you can’t.
The Stoics believed that the key to peace was in accepting the world as it is, not as we wish it to be. Acceptance allows us to stop wasting energy on things beyond our control and focus instead on the things we can actually influence.
This might seem simple, but it’s incredibly powerful. By accepting things as they are, we can free ourselves from unnecessary stress and frustration. It’s not about giving up, but about choosing where to put our efforts for maximum effect.
So next time you find yourself raging against something you can’t change, take a deep breath and try accepting it instead. You might be surprised at the peace it brings.
2) Embrace discomfort
Can you remember a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone? How did it feel? Unsettling, challenging, perhaps even a little scary? But once you did it, you probably felt a deep sense of accomplishment, didn’t you?
The Stoics understood that real growth often comes from pain and struggle. They believed that instead of running away from discomfort, we should face it head-on and use it as an opportunity for self-improvement.
Let me share a personal experience. I used to dread public speaking. The mere thought of it would make my palms sweaty and my heart race. But I knew that if I wanted to progress in my career, I needed to overcome this fear. So, I pushed myself into situations where I had to speak in front of others. It was excruciating at first, but with each speech, I became less nervous and more confident. Today, I can comfortably address a crowd without letting fear get the best of me.
The point here is not to seek out discomfort for the sake of suffering but to understand that stepping out of your comfort zone is an integral part of personal growth.
3) Live in the present
As the famous Stoic philosopher Seneca once said, “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
This thought leads us to our third stoic habit: living in the present.
Many of us spend a lot of time worrying about the future or dwelling on the past. However, such habits only cause stress, anxiety, and distract us from enjoying the here and now. The Stoics believed that we can only control what’s happening right now, thus, we should focus our energy on the present rather than fret about what has happened or what might happen.
The next time you find your mind wandering towards past regrets or future anxieties, take a moment to ground yourself in here and now. Practice mindfulness by paying attention to your surroundings or focusing on your breath.
Remember, life is happening right now. Don’t miss it by being somewhere else in your mind.
4) Reflect on your actions
So let’s say you just had a disagreement with a colleague at work. You’re fuming, blaming everything on them. But have you considered your role in the conflict?
The Stoics believed in the importance of reflecting on our actions and behaviors. They encouraged asking oneself things like: “What role did I play in this situation?” “Could I have handled it differently?”
This kind of thinking promotes personal growth and helps us to become more self-aware.
Reflecting on our actions helps us to understand ourselves better, learn from our mistakes, and improve our relationships with others. It’s easy to point fingers and blame others, but true growth comes from acknowledging our own shortcomings and working to improve them.
5) Cultivate gratitude
The Stoics believed in the power of appreciation. They practiced daily reflections on things they were grateful for, no matter how small.
This practice shifts our focus from what we lack or desire, to what we already have. It instills a sense of contentment and positivity, enriching our overall quality of life.
In today’s fast-paced world where we are constantly chasing after more, it’s easy to overlook the blessings we already have. Cultivating gratitude helps us appreciate life’s simple pleasures and brings us a sense of peace.
Try this Stoic practice: each day, write down three things you’re grateful for. They could be as simple as a warm cup of coffee in the morning or a kind word from a friend. This small habit can make a big difference in your perspective and overall happiness.
6) Practice moderation
I remember a time when I was utterly consumed by work. I was clocking in long hours, chasing deadlines one after another, and barely had time to eat or sleep. It wasn’t long until I hit a wall and burned out. That’s when I realized the importance of our sixth stoic habit: practicing moderation.
The Stoics emphasized the importance of balance in all aspects of life. They advocated for enjoying life’s pleasures, but always in moderation. Overindulgence, they believed, could lead to negative consequences and obstruct our path to becoming our best selves.
Practicing moderation means not going to extremes in any aspect of life, be it work, pleasure, or even self-improvement. It’s about finding the middle ground – working hard but also taking time to rest; enjoying life’s pleasures without being controlled by them.
Remember, it’s not about depriving yourself or pushing yourself to the limit. It’s about striking a balance that allows you to enjoy life while also pursuing your goals.
7) Seek wisdom
Have you ever found yourself in a sticky situation and wished you had the wisdom to handle it better?
That’s where our next Stoic habit comes in: seeking wisdom.
The Stoics deeply valued wisdom and saw it as the ultimate virtue. They believed that wisdom comes from learning, reflecting, and living in accordance with nature. For them, seeking wisdom was not just about gaining knowledge but about improving judgment and decision-making.
Wisdom, in the Stoic sense, is not merely academic or intellectual knowledge. It involves understanding the nature of things, recognizing what we can control and what we cannot, making moral decisions, and acting in accordance with our values.
Seeking wisdom is a lifelong journey. It requires curiosity and an open mind. It involves learning from our experiences, our mistakes, as well as the experiences of others.
8) Embrace humility
Last but not least, our final Stoic habit: embracing humility.
The Stoics were big on humility. They believed that an inflated ego could obstruct our path to wisdom, cloud our judgment, and lead us astray. By practicing humility, we acknowledge our limitations, open ourselves to learning, and foster healthy relationships with others.
Humility in the Stoic sense doesn’t mean being meek or letting others walk all over you. It’s about recognizing that we don’t have all the answers and that there’s always room for growth. It’s about being open to other perspectives and acknowledging the value in others.
In today’s world where self-promotion is often celebrated, humility might seem out of place. But the Stoics would argue that it’s more important than ever. So keep your feet on the ground, your mind open, and your heart humble. As the Stoics taught, true greatness comes from humility.
The bottom line
Becoming our best self isn’t a destination, but a continuous journey.
By embracing these Stoic habits, we can navigate through life’s complexities with grace, resilience, and wisdom.
It’s not about being perfect, but about striving for continual growth.
We’d love to hear your thoughts on these practices. Have you tried implementing any of these Stoic habits in your daily life? How has it impacted you?
Share your experiences or thoughts in the comments, because after all, we’re all in this journey together.
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What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.