Life is a roller-coaster ride. It’s full of ups and downs, twists and turns, moments of sheer joy, and periods of deep introspection. It’s a journey that’s as unique as you are, and it’s yours to shape and mold as you see fit.
But amid all the busyness, excitement, and adventure, there’s one thing that can often hold us back from truly relishing the ride—unrealistic expectations.
We all have them. These are the invisible yardsticks we measure ourselves against, the lofty ideals we chase, often forgetting that they’re mostly unattainable.
They steal our happiness and contentment, leaving us feeling inadequate and unsatisfied.
In this article, we’re going to explore 7 such expectations that we need to let go of if we really want to enjoy life to the fullest.
1) Perfection
Let’s kick things off with a big one—perfection.
How often do you find yourself striving for that perfect job, the perfect body, the perfect relationship, or even the perfect Instagram feed?
In today’s world, it feels like perfection is peddled as the ultimate goal.
But here’s the hard truth—perfection is an illusion. It’s a mirage that keeps us chasing an unattainable ideal, leaving us feeling dissatisfied and incomplete.
It might be time to let go of this unrealistic expectation and embrace the beauty of imperfection. Life isn’t about achieving perfection; it’s about growth, progress, and enjoying the journey.
2) Instant results
This brings us to our next unrealistic expectation—the expectation of instant results.
In our fast-paced world, we’ve become accustomed to instant gratification—we want things to happen now, or even better, yesterday.
We start a new diet and expect to see results in a week. We hit the gym and anticipate toned muscles after a few sessions. We begin a new project or business and expect immediate success.
Unfortunately, this is not how real life works. Most worthwhile things—whether it’s losing weight, building skills, or achieving success—take time, patience, and consistent effort.
Don’t believe me? Here are a few facts for you.
- According to a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit.
- According to FreshBooks, it takes an average of 2-3 years for a new business to become profitable.
- Experts say healthy adults can gain just 1-2 pounds of muscle per month.
As the old saying goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
3) Linear success
As the renowned author J.K. Rowling once said, “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”
This brings us to our next unrealistic expectation.
Many of us have this idea that success is a straight line from point A to point B. We imagine a smooth journey where we set a goal, work towards it, and achieve it without any hiccups.
But anyone who’s ever truly chased a dream knows this couldn’t be further from the truth.
The path to success is more like a meandering river than a straight highway. It’s full of twists and turns, roadblocks, detours, and sometimes even dead ends.
And that’s perfectly okay. Each stumble and misstep is an opportunity to learn, grow, and become better at navigating our journey.
4) That we can change others
Picture this: You’ve been dating someone for a while now. They’re great, but there’s just one thing (or maybe a few things) that you wish you could change about them. Nothing major, just some small tweaks here and there. You believe that with a little time and persuasion, they’ll change.
Sound familiar?
If it does, you’re not alone.
Many of us fall into the trap of expecting others to change for us. We believe that with enough love, patience, or nagging, we can mold them into our ideal version of who they should be.
The reality check we all need is this: people rarely change because someone else wants them to. True change comes from within, driven by personal desire and commitment.
Expecting otherwise often leads to frustration and disappointment.
Let’s let go of this unrealistic expectation and accept others as they are. Instead, try to see the good in them, as Marcus Aurelius told himself:
“think upon the merits of those who are alive with you; the energy of one, for instance, the modesty of another, the generosity of a third, of another some other gift.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
It’s our job to manage our own behavior and growth, not someone else’s.
5) Constant happiness
Many of us have this ingrained belief that we should always be happy, that life should be a never-ending string of sunny days.
But the reality?
Life is more like a weather forecast—there’s sunshine, yes, but there are also clouds, rain, and the occasional storm.
I remember a time when I was so caught up in chasing this idea of constant happiness. I’d scroll through social media feeds filled with smiling faces and perfect lives and wonder why I wasn’t always that happy. It felt like I was failing at life.
But here’s what I’ve learned: Happiness is not a constant state. It’s normal to experience a range of emotions—sadness, anger, frustration, anxiety—they’re all part of being human.
Trying to be ‘happy’ all the time can actually make us feel more miserable because it discounts the full range of our human experience.
6) Being liked by everyone
I remember back in high school, I had a great group of friends, but there was this one person who just seemed to dislike me for no apparent reason.
No matter how nice I was or how hard I tried to befriend them, it just didn’t seem to work. I spent countless nights fretting over it until one day, a good friend gave me some advice that changed my perspective: “You can be the sweetest, juiciest peach in the world, and there will still be someone who doesn’t like peaches.”
This brings us to our next unrealistic expectation—the idea that we can and should be liked by everyone. No matter how kind, friendly, or accommodating you are, there will always be someone who, for whatever reason, won’t warm up to you.
Chasing universal approval is not only exhausting but also impossible. Instead of trying to please everyone else, focus on being authentic and true to yourself.
7) Control
How many times have we tried to plan out our lives down to the last detail, only for life to say, “nice plan, but I have something else in mind”?
This brings us to our final unrealistic expectation—the expectation of control.
We often believe that we can control every aspect of our lives—from our career path and relationships to our health and the behavior of others. We plan and organize in an attempt to predict and shape the future. But the reality is, life is unpredictable.
While it’s important to set goals and strive for them, it’s equally important to understand that there are many things beyond our control. Trying to control everything only leads to stress and disappointment.
Let’s let go of this expectation of control and instead learn to adapt and thrive amidst life’s unpredictability. Remember, it’s not about controlling the waves, but learning how to surf.
The bottom line
Life is a complex, beautiful journey filled with highs, lows, and everything in between. It’s not meant to be perfect or predictable. Holding on to unrealistic expectations can cloud our ability to enjoy the ride as it is.
By letting go of these expectations, we can start embracing life’s imperfections and unpredictability, and truly savor each moment.
We’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Are there any unrealistic expectations you’ve let go of that have improved your life? Share your experiences in the comments below.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
