There’s a stark contrast between just living and making real progress in life.
The key lies in our energy – where we direct it and what we squander it on.
According to Stoicism, a powerful ancient philosophy, we often waste our energy on things that don’t contribute to our progress. If you’re serious about moving forward, there are some things you need to stop wasting your energy on. What things?
Well, these seven are a great start.
Because when it comes to life, it’s not about how much energy you have – it’s about where you put it.
1) Dwelling on the past
There’s an old saying: “Don’t look back, you’re not going that way.”
Stoicism teaches us the importance of focusing on the present. Too often, we waste our energy ruminating over the past, something we cannot change.
Think about it. How many times have you replayed a conversation in your head, wishing you said something different? How much energy have you spent regretting a decision you made years ago?
This mental treadmill not only drains your energy but also takes away from your present and future.
The Stoics believed that we should learn from our past but not be consumed by it.
We can’t change what’s happened, but we have the power to shape what’s to come.
2) Trying to control the uncontrollable
Here’s a personal confession: I used to be a control freak.
I was always trying to manipulate circumstances, situations, even people, to align with my vision of how things should be. It was exhausting. And guess what? It was utterly futile.
Stoicism teaches us about the dichotomy of control – that there are things within our control and things outside of it.
For instance, you can’t control the weather, other people’s actions, or the traffic on your way to work. Trying to do so is simply a waste of energy.
What you can control are your reactions, your mindset, and your actions.
When I started embracing this Stoic principle, it felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Instead of trying to micromanage the world around me, I focused on managing my responses.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t plan or prepare. But when things don’t go as planned (which is often), don’t waste your energy resisting reality. Embrace it, adapt, and keep moving forward.
3) Chasing after material possessions
In today’s world, it’s easy to get caught up in the pursuit of material possessions. We’re bombarded with advertisements promising happiness, comfort, and status if we buy the latest gadget, drive the fanciest car, or live in the biggest house.
Stoicism, however, cautions us against this energy-draining pursuit.
According to Stoicism, our worth isn’t determined by what we own but by our virtues and actions. Instead of directing your energy towards acquiring more stuff, focus on cultivating qualities like wisdom, courage, justice, and self-control.
Remember that material possessions are transient. They can be lost or taken away. But your virtues? They’re yours to keep and they’ll serve you well in the journey of life.
4) Seeking everyone’s approval
It’s human nature to crave acceptance and validation from others. But when your happiness depends on the opinion of others, you’re essentially giving them control over your emotional wellbeing.
It’s not about being insensitive or dismissive of others’ opinions. It’s about understanding that their views are based on their own experiences, biases, and perspectives, which might differ greatly from yours.
Instead of striving to please everyone around you, focus your energy on living according to your values and principles.
After all, your life is about your journey, not about making everyone else happy. Letting go of the need for approval can be liberating and will free up energy for things that truly matter.
5) Comparing yourself to others
In this age of social media, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. We see the highlight reels of other people’s lives and start comparing our behind-the-scenes with their on-stage performances.
Stoicism, however, reminds us that this is a futile and energy-draining exercise.
Each one of us is on a unique journey, with different starting points, challenges, and strengths. Comparing your journey to someone else’s is like comparing apples to oranges. It simply doesn’t make sense.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on our own progress. Are you better today than you were yesterday? Are you living in accordance with your values? Are you making progress towards your goals?
These are the comparisons that truly matter.
6) Worrying about the future
I used to be a chronic worrier. “What if” scenarios would play on a loop in my mind, keeping me awake at night. I was so focused on what could go wrong in the future that I was missing out on the present.
Stoicism teaches us to live in the here and now. It reminds us that while it’s important to plan for the future, obsessively worrying about it is counterproductive.
The future is uncertain and largely outside of our control. No amount of worrying will change that. All it does is drain our energy and rob us of the joy of the present moment.
Instead of worrying about the future, Stoicism encourages us to focus on what we can control – our actions and attitudes in the present. By doing so, we can make the most of today and better prepare for whatever tomorrow brings.
7) Living against your values
At the heart of Stoicism is the emphasis on living in accordance with your values. It’s about recognizing what truly matters to you and directing your energy towards those things.
When we live against our values, we create internal tension and drain our energy. We feel unfulfilled, even if we’re achieving societal measures of success.
Your values are your compass in life. They guide your decisions, actions, and interactions with others. When you align your life with your values, you not only conserve energy but also find greater purpose and satisfaction.
Take some time to reflect on your values. What truly matters to you? Once you’ve identified those values, strive to live them out each day.
Final thoughts: It’s about energy management
The wisdom of Stoicism often boils down to understanding and managing our energy.
When we stop wasting our energy on things beyond our control or things that don’t align with our values, we free up space for what truly matters.
So, as you go about your day, reflect on where your energy is going. Are you investing it in things that move you forward or squandering it on things that hold you back?
The choice, as always, is yours.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
