Happiness is a choice, not a result.
That’s a core belief held by Stoics, ancient philosophers who mastered the art of mental fortitude.
Stoicism isn’t about suppressing your feelings. It’s about acknowledging them, understanding their roots, and then choosing to channel them in a more constructive way.
It’s about finding happiness from within—not relying on external factors.
Today, we explore six key Stoic practices for cultivating lasting happiness.
These aren’t about quick fixes or temporary highs. They’re about creating a resilient mindset that can gracefully weather life’s ups and downs.
Let’s dive in.
1) Embrace the present moment
Stoicism teaches us that the past is unchangeable and the future is unpredictable. Only the present moment is within our control, and it’s here that we can find true contentment.
Often, our anxiety stems from dwelling on past regrets or fretting over future uncertainties. This mental time travel robs us of our peace in the present moment.
So, how do you embrace the present?
Start by reminding yourself each day that the past is behind you, and the future isn’t guaranteed. Then, consciously bring your attention back to what’s happening right now.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t plan for the future or learn from the past. But by centering your focus on the present moment, you can eliminate needless worry and make the most of what’s right in front of you.
2) Accept what you can’t control
The next Stoic practice is about accepting what’s beyond your control.
This one has personally transformed my life.
In my early twenties, I was a bit of a control freak. I wanted to plan everything down to the last detail and would get incredibly stressed when things didn’t go my way.
Then, I stumbled upon the Stoic principle of focusing on what’s within my control and accepting what’s not. This was a game-changer.
I still remember one particularly chaotic day at work, where everything seemed to go wrong. Normally, this would have sent me spiraling into frustration and anxiety. But this time, I paused and asked myself: “What’s within my control right now?”
I realized that while I couldn’t control the situation, I could control my reaction to it. So, instead of getting flustered, I focused on finding solutions and maintaining a calm demeanor. This simple shift in perspective made the whole day more manageable.
Since then, I’ve been applying this principle whenever life throws curveballs at me. It hasn’t made the challenges disappear, but it has definitely made them easier to navigate.
Accepting what you can’t control frees up mental space for you to focus on what you can influence: your actions, attitudes, and responses. It’s a liberating practice that can significantly boost your happiness level.
3) Practice negative visualization
Contrary to what the name suggests, negative visualization doesn’t involve dwelling on doom and gloom scenarios. It’s actually a powerful Stoic technique for fostering gratitude and contentment.
In essence, it involves imagining life without the things or people we usually take for granted. This practice can help us appreciate what we currently have even more.
For instance, consider your ability to see. We rarely stop to appreciate the wonder of sight until it’s impaired or lost. However, if you were to spend a few moments each day imagining life without sight, you’d likely find a newfound appreciation for this often-overlooked gift.
Interestingly, experts have noted that regular practice of gratitude, which is essentially what negative visualization fosters, can have profound effects on our well-being and happiness. It’s said to improve sleep, reduce stress, and even boost our immune system.
So the next time you catch yourself taking something for granted, try negative visualization. You might be surprised by how much happier it makes you feel.
4) Practice dispassionate judgement
Another tenet of Stoicism is the practice of dispassionate judgement. This is about learning to separate your emotions from your assessment of events.
Often, our emotional reactions colour our perception of reality. Something is not inherently good or bad – it’s our judgement that labels it so. Stoics believed that by stripping away this emotional bias, we can see things as they truly are and respond more rationally.
Let’s take a common scenario: You’re stuck in traffic and running late for a meeting. Most people would label this as a ‘bad’ situation and get stressed. But is the situation itself bad, or is it our judgement of it?
The Stoic approach would be to see the situation objectively: I’m in a car, there are many other cars around, we’re not moving. No emotional labels attached. This allows you to stay calm and think clearly about the next best steps – maybe you can inform the person you’re meeting that you’ll be late.
This practice doesn’t mean becoming emotionless. It’s about gaining control over your emotions so they don’t control you. With time, you’ll find that this leads to a more balanced and happier life.
5) Practice daily reflection
I remember a time when I felt perpetually overwhelmed and frazzled. I was rushing from one task to the next, barely taking a moment to breathe. I felt like I was stuck on a hamster wheel, with no time for self-care or introspection.
Then, I started incorporating daily reflection into my routine. Every night before bed, I would replay the day’s events in my head, not to chastise myself for mistakes made, but to understand where I could improve.
One evening, as I reflected on a heated argument I had with a colleague, I realized that my reaction had been more about my own stress than anything my colleague had said. This moment of clarity wouldn’t have come without this practice of daily reflection.
This practice has helped me become more self-aware and mindful in my day-to-day life.
It’s not always comfortable confronting your own shortcomings, but it’s essential for growth and lasting happiness.
6) Embrace Amor Fati (Love of Fate)
The crowning jewel of Stoic philosophy is the concept of ‘Amor Fati’ – a phrase that translates to ‘love of fate’. This is the practice of wholeheartedly accepting and loving whatever happens in life, not just tolerating it.
This doesn’t mean you should be passive or stop striving for better. It’s about understanding that everything—pleasure and pain, success and failure—has its role in shaping who we are.
Embracing Amor Fati is a radical act of affirmation. It’s choosing to see every experience, even the difficult ones, as necessary parts of your journey. It’s acknowledging that every event, no matter how challenging, carries a lesson that can lead to growth.
The practice of Amor Fati is transformative. It inspires courage, fosters resilience, and leads to a deep-seated happiness that remains unshaken by external circumstances.
Remember, it’s not the events in our life that disturb us, but our judgments about them. Love your fate, and nothing can harm you.
Reflection: It’s a journey, not a destination
Stoicism is more than just a philosophy; it’s a way of life. A path that navigates us towards lasting happiness by teaching us to embrace the present, accept what we can’t control, and cultivate an inner fortitude.
As you go about your days, remember these Stoic practices. It won’t always be easy, and there may be days when you falter. That’s okay. After all, it’s not about achieving perfection but progress.
And remember, the Stoic practices are not magic formulas for instant happiness, but rather tools to help you navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and resilience. They are guides in your journey towards mastering your mind and finding contentment from within.
In the end, it’s not about reaching a destination called ‘happiness’. It’s about embracing the journey and finding joy in every step along the way.
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What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.