Ever heard the saying, “Freedom is a state of mind?”
It’s a beautiful sentiment, isn’t it? The idea is that no matter what’s happening around you, your sense of freedom comes from within.
But what if some habits you carry are preventing you from experiencing this liberating freedom?
They might well be. Certain habits that seem harmless or even beneficial initially can shackle us and prevent us from feeling truly free.
Today, we dive into seven such habits.
1) Overthinking
Ever found yourself stuck in a loop of endless thoughts?
It’s a common habit, and we’ve all been there. You replay scenarios in your head, analyze every word spoken, and predict countless outcomes. While it may seem like you’re just being cautious or thorough, overthinking has a darker side.
Overthinking traps you in your own mind, creating a prison of assumptions and what-ifs. It robs you of the present moment and the freedom to enjoy life as it unfolds.
This is backed up by the experts, too. According to an article on BetterHelp, overthinking can lead to a vicious cycle of anxiety and stress.
This constant rumination affects mental well-being and can trap individuals in a cycle of worry and negative thoughts, hindering their ability to live freely in the present moment.
2) Comparing Yourself to Others
Have you ever found yourself scrolling through social media, wondering why everyone else seems to be doing better than you?
It’s an easy trap to fall into. You see a friend’s promotion, another’s vacation photos, or someone’s seemingly perfect relationship, and suddenly, you feel like you’re falling behind. This habit of comparison is not only draining but also fundamentally flawed.
When you compare yourself to others, you overlook the fact that everyone’s journey is different. You’re not seeing their struggles, their doubts, or their sacrifices—only the highlights they choose to share. And in doing so, you rob yourself of the contentment that comes from appreciating your own path.
The Stoics remind us that our value isn’t determined by how we measure up to others. As Marcus Aurelius noted, “How great a rest from labour he gains who does not look to what his neighbour says or does or thinks but only what himeslf is doing.”(The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Your worth is inherent, not dependent on external accomplishments or possessions.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own progress. Measure your success by the effort you put into becoming the best version of yourself.
When you stop looking sideways and start looking within, you reclaim the freedom to define your own success and find peace in your own journey.
3) Seeking approval
Let me tell you a little story from my past.
Years ago, I was the ultimate people-pleaser, always seeking validation and approval from others. Whether it was my choice of career, my style of clothing, or even the movies I liked, I constantly sought affirmation from those around me.
But here’s what I learned.
The more I sought approval, the more I chained myself to the opinions of others. My sense of self-worth became intertwined with their validation. In essence, I was handing over my freedom to them.
Once I realized this, I decided it was time to change. After all, why should my sense of freedom and happiness be dictated by external opinions?
The lesson here is clear. If you want to be truly free, you need to stop seeking approval from others. Trust in yourself and your choices. Your freedom lies in your authenticity.
4) Neglecting self-care
I’m no stranger to the hustle culture. The glorification of busyness, the constant strive for productivity, and the never-ending to-do lists. It’s a rhythm many of us fall into, myself included.
But here’s the truth. In this frenzy of trying to keep up, I was neglecting myself. My health took a backseat. Sleep was optional. Meals were skipped. Exercise was a forgotten concept. I lost touch with my hobbies and passions.
And in doing so, I was relinquishing my freedom—the freedom to live a healthy, balanced life.
As noted by The National Institute of Mental Health, self-care isn’t just about pampering yourself; it’s a crucial practice for managing stress, lowering your risk of illness, and boosting your energy.
So here’s my two cents. Don’t let your life be consumed by work or responsibilities to the point where you neglect yourself. Your physical and mental well-being are crucial for you to feel free and content.
5) Living in the past
We all have memories that linger—both good and bad—but allowing them to dominate your thoughts can trap you in a cycle of regret or nostalgia.
The Stoics understood the futility of dwelling on the past. Marcus Aurelius wisely noted, “Each of us lives only in the present, this brief moment; the rest is either a life that is past or is an uncertain future.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
The past is gone, and the future is unknown, so why let them steal the only time you have any power over—the present?
By letting go of what has already happened, you free yourself from the chains of bygone events and allow yourself to fully experience the here and now. This isn’t about forgetting the past but rather about not letting it dictate your current state of mind.
Your freedom lies in embracing the present moment and making the most of it, unburdened by the shadows of what once was.
6) Holding onto grudges
When someone wrongs us, it’s tempting to hold onto these feelings, as if nurturing the grudge somehow balances the scales. But in reality, holding onto grudges only weighs us down.
Forgiving doesn’t mean excusing the wrong or pretending it didn’t hurt. It means choosing not to let that hurt define your life or dictate your emotions. It’s an act of reclaiming your freedom from the past and moving forward with a lighter heart.
By releasing your grip on resentment, you make room for peace, growth, and the freedom to live unburdened by the actions of others.
7) Resisting change
Whether it’s a career shift, a move to a new city, or the end of a relationship, the prospect of change often stirs up fear and anxiety. This fear can become a mental barrier, preventing us from embracing new opportunities and experiences.
The Stoics understood that change is a fundamental part of life. Marcus Aurelius reminds us, “Is it change that a man fears? Why, what can have come to be without change, and what is dearer or more familiar to Universal Nature?” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Resisting change is like resisting nature itself; it’s a futile endeavor that only creates more stress and dissatisfaction.
Moreover, fearing change can trap you in a cycle of stagnation. When you cling to the status quo out of fear, you deny yourself the growth and freedom that come from stepping into the unknown. The truth is, change often brings about personal growth, new perspectives, and even a better quality of life.
Embracing change, rather than fearing it, allows you to flow with life’s natural rhythm. It frees you from the anxiety of clinging to what’s familiar and opens up a world of possibilities. In doing so, you reclaim your freedom to evolve, adapt, and thrive in any circumstance.
Embrace your freedom
Breaking free from these seven habits can unlock a new level of mental and emotional freedom. Embrace the present, stop comparing yourself to others, and let go of grudges—each step brings you closer to a life of peace and fulfillment.
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Until next time, stay learning, stay Stoic.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
