If you want to build stronger relationships, adopt these 5 Stoic principles

Have you ever wondered if ancient wisdom can help you build stronger relationships today?

While Stoicism is often associated with personal resilience and inner peace, it also holds profound insights for forming deep and meaningful connections with others.

Stoic principles offer valuable guidance on empathy, communication, and emotional balance. By adopting these tenets, you can cultivate relationships that are not only stronger but also more fulfilling.

Curious?

Let’s dive in.

1) Empathy and Understanding

“Habituate yourself not to be attentive to what another has to say, and so far as possible be in the mind of the speaker.” — Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

Marcus Aurelius reminds us that true connection comes from immersing ourselves in the thoughts and emotions of those we interact with. When we approach our interactions with genuine empathy, we create a foundation of mutual respect and trust.

Practicing empathy involves actively putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes, seeking to understand their perspectives and emotions. This can be as simple as listening without interrupting or offering a comforting word when someone is distressed.

To cultivate empathy in your relationships:

• Listen deeply: Pay full attention to what the other person is saying without planning your response while they’re speaking.
• Validate feelings: Acknowledge and validate the other person’s emotions, even if you don’t fully agree with their point of view.
• Ask questions: Show interest in their experiences and thoughts by asking open-ended questions.

2) Control of Reactions

Have you ever regretted reacting in the heat of the moment?

We all have. But we don’t have to. As Epictetus tells us:“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” (The Discourses of Epictetus, 1916)

In any relationship, our reactions play a significant role in shaping our interactions and the overall dynamic. Epictetus reminds us that while we cannot always control the events that occur, we can control our responses to them. By mastering our reactions, we can prevent unnecessary conflicts and maintain harmony in our relationships.

Controlling your reactions involves practicing mindfulness and emotional regulation. It requires pausing before responding, allowing yourself a moment to choose a thoughtful and measured reaction rather than an impulsive one.

To improve control over your reactions:

• Pause and breathe: Take a deep breath before responding to give yourself time to think.
• Reflect on the situation: Consider the bigger picture and the long-term impact of your reaction.
• Choose your response: Decide on a response that aligns with your values and the kind of relationship you want to cultivate.

3) Good Is in Our Actions, Not Our Words

“Don’t any more discuss at large what the good man is like, but be good.” — Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

Marcus Aurelius reminds us that it’s not enough to talk about being good; we must embody goodness in our actions.

Trust, once broken, is difficult to rebuild, and our deeds are the key to maintaining that trust.

Being honest doesn’t just mean telling the truth; it also involves being authentic and transparent in your actions and intentions. When people know they can rely on your word, they feel secure and valued in the relationship.

To uphold honesty and integrity:

• Be truthful: Always communicate openly and truthfully, even when it’s difficult.
• Keep your promises: Follow through on commitments and avoid making promises you can’t keep.
• Be transparent: Share your thoughts and feelings openly to build mutual understanding and trust.

By consistently valuing honesty and integrity, you lay a strong foundation for trust in your relationships. This principle ensures that your connections are built on mutual respect and reliability, fostering deeper and more enduring bonds.