There’s a huge gap between feeling lonely and being alone. Loneliness can creep in, even when you’re surrounded by people.
The culprit? Often, it’s our habits. Certain behaviors and patterns can isolate us, even when we don’t realize it.
In this journey called life, it’s essential to identify these habits and say goodbye to them. It’s about giving yourself a chance to feel connected again.
In this article, we’ll delve into the 10 habits you need to ditch if you’re feeling lonely. And remember, it’s not about changing who you are; it’s about letting go of what holds you back.
1) Expecting others to solve your loneliness
A lot of us carry the belief that it’s others who can make us feel less lonely. We depend on friends, family, or romantic partners to fill the void.
But here’s the catch – expecting others to solve your loneliness can actually deepen it. It’s a habit that puts pressure on relationships and pulls you away from self-contentment.
Remember, the key to conquering loneliness lies within you. It’s about learning to enjoy your own company and finding peace within yourself.
So the first habit to kick? Depending on others for your happiness. Start by finding activities you love and can do alone. This can help you feel less reliant on others and more content in your own company.
But remember, it’s a process, not an overnight change. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey.
2) Isolating yourself in difficult times
I’ve been there. When life gets tough, it can be tempting to retreat and isolate ourselves. I remember a time when I was dealing with a personal loss. My instinct was to shut out the world, stay in my room, and cope with it alone.
But here’s what I learned: Isolation might feel like a shield, but it only intensifies feelings of loneliness.
By closing myself off, I realized I was denying myself the support and connection that could help me through the tough times. When I finally reached out to a friend and shared my feelings, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.
So, if you find yourself pulling away when life gets hard, remember my story. Reach out to someone you trust. You might be surprised at how much sharing can help. It’s okay to lean on others sometimes – we all need a support system.
3) Overindulging in social media
In our digital age, it’s easy to fall into the habit of scrolling through social media for hours. You might think it’s a way to feel connected, but did you know that spending too much time on social media can actually increase feelings of loneliness?
A study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine found that young adults who spent more than two hours a day on social media reported twice the amount of social isolation than those who spent half an hour or less.
So, if you’re feeling lonely, it might be time to limit your social media use. Instead of scrolling endlessly, try using that time to engage in real-life interactions. It could be as simple as calling a friend or going for a walk outside. Small steps can make a big difference.
4) Neglecting self-care
When loneliness creeps in, it’s easy to put self-care on the back burner. You might skip meals, ignore your exercise routine, or sleep irregular hours.
But neglecting your physical well-being can amplify feelings of loneliness. Your mind and body are connected, and when your body isn’t at its best, it can be harder for your mind to feel good.
So, take care of yourself. Prioritize healthy meals, regular exercise, and a good night’s sleep. It might seem unrelated to your feelings of loneliness, but nurturing your physical health can have a profound impact on your emotional well-being. Self-care is a critical step in combating loneliness.
5) Avoiding new experiences
Sticking to the tried-and-true can be comfortable, especially when you’re feeling lonely. But avoiding new experiences can keep you stuck in a rut and intensify feelings of isolation.
Whether it’s joining a hobby club, trying a new exercise class, or simply visiting a coffee shop you’ve never been to before, new experiences open up opportunities for connection and growth.
Remember, every friend you have now was once a stranger. By stepping out of your comfort zone, you’re opening the door to potential new friendships and reducing feelings of loneliness. Take that leap of faith; the rewards may surprise you.
6) Being hard on yourself
In moments of loneliness, it’s common to turn the blame inward, questioning your worthiness or likability. It’s a painful cycle that can deepen feelings of isolation.
But know this: feeling lonely doesn’t make you unlovable or flawed. You, like every person, are deserving of connection and belonging. Your feelings of loneliness are not a reflection of your worth.
So the next time you catch yourself slipping into self-blame, take a step back. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this way and that you’re not alone in feeling lonely. Be kind to yourself, because you’re doing the best you can. Remember, self-compassion can be a powerful antidote to loneliness.
7) Not expressing your feelings
Once upon a time, I believed that keeping my feelings to myself was the best way to cope. I thought if I locked away my feelings of loneliness, they would eventually disappear.
But holding everything in only made me feel more alone. It was like being trapped in a bubble, watching the world go by without being part of it.
When I finally opened up to a friend about my feelings of loneliness, I realized how much I had been holding back. Expressing my feelings didn’t make them go away instantly, but it did give me a sense of relief and connection.
So, if you’re feeling lonely, don’t keep it all to yourself. Open up to someone you trust. It could be a family member, a friend, or a mental health professional. Expressing your feelings can help you feel understood and less alone.
8) Always seeking company
You might think that the antidote to loneliness is to constantly surround yourself with people. But piling your calendar with social engagements can sometimes amplify feelings of loneliness.
Here’s why: Constant company can prevent you from forming a comfortable relationship with your own solitude. And when you’re comfortable being alone, you’re less likely to feel lonely when you are alone.
So, don’t be afraid to spend some time by yourself. Pick up a book, take a walk, or simply sit in silence. Learning to enjoy your own company is an essential step towards combating feelings of loneliness.
9) Believing that loneliness is permanent
When you’re in the depths of loneliness, it’s easy to believe that this feeling will last forever. But this isn’t the case. Loneliness, like all emotions, is temporary and will pass with time.
Believing that loneliness is a permanent state can trap you in a cycle of negative thinking, making it harder to break free from the feeling of isolation.
So, remind yourself that loneliness is just a moment in time. It does not define you or your future. Hold onto hope and know that brighter days are ahead. This mindset can help you navigate through periods of loneliness with more resilience and optimism.
10) Not seeking professional help
If your feelings of loneliness become overwhelming or persistent, it might be time to reach out to a mental health professional.
There’s a misconception that therapy is only for those with severe mental health issues. But the truth is, therapists are there to help with all kinds of emotional struggles, including feelings of loneliness.
A mental health professional can provide tools and strategies to cope with loneliness. They offer a safe space to express your feelings and explore their roots.
So, don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you need it. Remember, it’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to ask for assistance when you need it. Your mental health is important, and you deserve support.
Final reflection: Connection starts within
The journey from loneliness to connection often begins within us. The relationship we have with ourselves sets the tone for all other relationships in our lives.
Studies have shown that self-compassion and self-care can significantly reduce feelings of loneliness. When we nurture ourselves, we send a powerful message to our brain – we are worthy of care and connection.
So, as you say goodbye to these habits that fuel loneliness, remember to also cultivate habits that foster self-love and compassion. Whether it’s through meditation, journaling, or simply taking a moment each day to appreciate yourself, these practices can help you navigate feelings of loneliness with more resilience and grace.
And remember, it’s okay to seek help when you need it. Loneliness is a universal human experience – we’ve all been there at some point. You’re not alone in feeling this way. Reach out, connect, and remember – this too shall pass.
As you reflect on these words, remember that change is a journey, not a destination. The path out of loneliness isn’t a straight line, and that’s okay. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this path. You are worthy of connection, belonging, and love. Always.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
