Ever since I can remember, my sense of calm amidst chaos puzzled friends and family. Whether during college finals or while navigating through the turbulent waters of corporate mergers, my zen-like response to stress often left people wondering if I was oblivious to the turmoil around me.
I recall an incident when my startup was on the brink of bankruptcy. As everyone around me was frantically trying to salvage what they could, I found myself calmly examining possible solutions, seemingly unaffected by the impending disaster.
This didn’t mean I didn’t care; in fact, I was deeply invested in the outcome. However, my approach felt more like a composed chess player contemplating their next move rather than a panicked entrepreneur.
This unflappable demeanor often raised eyebrows. “How can you be so calm?” was a question I frequently heard. Many assumed it was innate, a part of my personality I was born with.
But the truth is, it wasn’t always this way. There was a time when stress and anxiety consumed me, when the smallest setback would send my pulse racing.
The transformation came when I stumbled upon an ancient philosophy – stoicism. It felt as though I’d discovered a secret sauce to maintain serenity in chaos. This wasn’t some magic spell or quick fix; it required practice and commitment, but it started making sense of my unusual calm.
Now that I’ve moved on from my startup days and transitioned into writing and consulting, I still find myself applying stoic principles daily. It’s become more than just a coping mechanism; it’s a way of life.
What I didn’t anticipate? How challenging it would be to explain this mindset to others, especially those who have been conditioned to view stress as an inevitable part of life.
Here’s what it’s been like sharing my journey with stoicism and dispelling misconceptions about this misunderstood philosophy.
Discovering stoicism and cultivating calmness
My encounter with stoicism happened quite by accident. I was browsing a bookstore when I came across a copy of “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius. Intrigued, I started reading, and before I knew it, I was engrossed in the ancient wisdom.
Stoicism, as I learned, teaches acceptance of things beyond our control and focusing on how we respond to them. It was a lightbulb moment for me. I realized that my anxieties stemmed from trying to control the uncontrollable.
Embracing this philosophy didn’t happen overnight. It required practice and discipline. But with time, I started noticing changes. I was less anxious, more focused, and surprisingly calm during crises.
I began with simple exercises. Each morning, I’d remind myself of what’s within my control and what’s not. Then throughout the day, whenever stress threatened to consume me, I’d consciously let go of factors outside my control and focus on my response.
This practice transformed not just my professional life but also how I navigated personal challenges. Whether dealing with relationship issues or health scares, stoicism became my guiding principle.
Now that you understand how stoicism helped me cultivate calmness amidst chaos, it’s crucial to address the common misconception that being stoic means being emotionless or indifferent. That’s far from the truth.
In the next section, we’ll dive into why this view is widespread and how my experience has led me to a different understanding.
Stoicism: Not indifferent but at peace
One common misconception I’ve encountered is the idea that stoics are unfeeling, almost robotic. That they remain unaffected by life’s ups and downs, not because of some inner peace, but because they’re indifferent to their circumstances.
But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Stoicism doesn’t teach us to suppress our emotions. Instead, it guides us on how to deal with them constructively.
It’s about understanding that while we can’t control external events, we can control our reactions to them.
It doesn’t advocate indifference; it promotes acceptance and measured responses.
I’ve faced many situations where this misunderstanding has surfaced. On one occasion, a colleague interpreted my composed demeanor during a project setback as apathy. He couldn’t comprehend how I could remain calm when our project was falling apart.
But it wasn’t apathy; it was acceptance. I had acknowledged the situation for what it was and was focusing on devising a solution rather than panicking over the problem. This wasn’t indifference; it was stoicism in action.
In the next section, I’ll share exactly how I addressed these misconceptions and how I’ve been spreading the tenets of stoicism, helping others find their own sense of calm amidst chaos.
Spreading the principles of stoicism
The key to addressing these misconceptions was communication. I realized that most people were unfamiliar with stoicism and its principles. They only had a vague, often incorrect, idea about it.
So, I started sharing my experiences and explaining the philosophy behind my calm demeanor.
During team meetings or casual conversations, I would talk about stoicism and its principles. I shared how it taught me to differentiate between what I could control and what I couldn’t, and how this shift in perspective had helped me maintain calm during crises.
I also started a blog where I wrote about my journey with stoicism. It became a platform where I could reach a wider audience and share practical tips for applying stoic principles in everyday life.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by chaos, remember that it’s not the situation but your response to it that causes stress. By focusing on what we can control and accepting what we can’t, we can navigate any crisis with serenity.
In my next section, I’ll share some of these practical tips to help you embrace stoicism and find your inner calm.
Taking responsibility and thinking for myself
Stoicism, in essence, is about taking responsibility for your actions and emotions. It’s realizing that while the world around us is often out of our control, our reactions to it are entirely within our control. It’s a powerful mindset that not only helped me navigate professional crises but also transformed my approach towards life.
Here are the key principles that have guided my journey:
- Recognize your control over your reactions.
- Understand the difference between what you can and can’t control.
- Accept reality as it is, without resorting to blind positivity.
- Embrace the principles of stoicism in everyday life.
- Communicate openly about your beliefs and practices.
Understanding these principles was like peeling back layers of societal conditioning. I realized how much of my stress was due to external expectations and societal norms. Stoicism allowed me to redefine my reality, aligning it more with my true nature rather than what society expected of me.
I found myself questioning societal norms that imposed stress and anxiety. I started pursuing my ambitions and desires, not those imposed by external influences. And along this journey, I discovered a sense of self-empowerment and purpose that was liberating.
If you find yourself caught in the chaos of life, remember this – you have the power to shape your reality. By recognizing what’s within your control and letting go of what’s not, you can experience a sense of inner calm even amidst turmoil.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
