There’s a unique sort of freedom in eating alone in public without feeling self-conscious.
It’s not about loneliness, but about embracing the ability to enjoy one’s own company and feel comfortable in any setting.
People who are able to do this often embody certain traits, traits that align with the principles of Stoicism.
Stoicism is a philosophy that teaches us to be at peace with whatever life throws at us. It’s about understanding that we can’t control everything, but we can control how we react.
In this article, we’ll explore four Stoic traits often displayed by those who can happily dine solo in public. It’s time to dive into what makes these individuals tick, and maybe learn a thing or two about embracing our own inner Stoic.
1) Embracing indifference
It was a chilly evening in the city, and I found myself at a small Italian bistro. I had no dinner plans, no company, just me, myself and I.
As I sat down at my table for one, I noticed a few glances in my direction. A group of friends nearby, a couple on a date, they all seemed a bit surprised to see someone eating alone.
But here’s the thing – I didn’t care. I was there to enjoy a meal, not to fit into societal norms or expectations.
This ability to be indifferent to the opinions of others is another Stoic trait.
Stoics believe that we can’t control how others perceive us, but we can control how we react to their perceptions. They teach us not to worry about things outside our control, like the opinions of others.
So, as I savored my pasta and sipped my wine, I wasn’t bothered by those curious glances. Instead, I focused on the experience, the flavors of my meal, and the ambiance of the restaurant.
In that moment, I was practicing Stoicism – enjoying my own company and letting go of any concern about what others might think.
2) Embracing solitude
Another key trait of those who can comfortably dine alone is their ability to embrace solitude. This isn’t about being a loner, but rather about finding peace and contentment in one’s own company.
The Stoics often spoke about the importance of retreating into oneself for reflection and tranquility. Marcus Aurelius wrote:
“Men look for retreats for themselves—the country, the seashore, the hills; yet this is very unlike a philosopher when you may at any hour retreat into yourself”. (Marcus Aurelius – The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Dining alone provides a perfect opportunity for such a retreat. Instead of seeing it as a lonely experience, it becomes a chance to engage in personal reflection and mindfulness. It’s a moment to disconnect from external distractions and reconnect with oneself.
In these moments of solitude, you can ponder your thoughts, contemplate your goals, and appreciate the simple pleasure of a good meal. This practice of embracing solitude aligns perfectly with the Stoic principle of finding inner peace and strength from within.
By regularly making time for yourself, even in public settings, you cultivate a deeper understanding of who you are and what you value. This self-awareness not only enhances your personal growth but also strengthens your resilience in facing life’s challenges.
3) Embracing the uncomfortable
I remember the first time I dined alone in public. It was an unfamiliar and slightly uncomfortable experience. I felt eyes on me, judging me for being alone.
But then, I remembered the Stoic teachings about embracing discomfort. Stoicism encourages us to step outside our comfort zones and face our fears.
So, instead of succumbing to the discomfort, I chose to embrace it. I decided to see it as an opportunity for growth, a chance to become more comfortable with myself.
With every solo dining experience that followed, the discomfort lessened. Now, it doesn’t bother me at all. I’ve learned to enjoy my own company and not let the opinions of others affect me.
This willingness to embrace discomfort is a Stoic trait that those who dine alone often display. It’s about accepting and facing challenges head-on, turning them into opportunities for personal growth.
4) Practicing self-discipline
Self-discipline is a hallmark of Stoic philosophy, and it’s a trait often displayed by those who dine alone with confidence.
The ability to sit quietly and enjoy a meal by oneself, without the need for constant social interaction or digital distractions, demonstrates a high level of self-control and inner strength.
When you choose to dine alone, you are exercising self-discipline by controlling your thoughts and actions. You are making a conscious decision to enjoy your own company and to resist the urge to seek validation or comfort from others.
Through self-discipline, you learn to appreciate the value of solitude and the benefits it brings to your well-being. You develop the ability to focus on the present moment, savoring each bite of your meal and each sip of your drink without distractions. This focused attention enhances your dining experience and fosters a deeper connection with yourself.
Ultimately, practicing self-discipline in the simple act of dining alone can have profound effects on other areas of your life. It teaches you to be content with your own company, to find joy in the present moment, and to approach life’s challenges with a calm and controlled mind.
Final thoughts
Human behavior is complex, fascinating, and often deeply rooted in philosophical principles.
And sometimes, these principles present themselves in the most everyday activities – like eating alone.
Those who dine alone in public without feeling self-conscious aren’t just enjoying a meal; they’re actually embodying some key Stoic traits.
So next time you see someone dining alone, or perhaps when you find yourself eating solo, remember these Stoic traits.
Maybe it’s not just about the meal, but about practicing a philosophy that can bring tranquility and contentment in our everyday lives.
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What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.