Have you ever wondered why some people seem to thrive in solitude while others struggle?
In our hyper-connected world, the ability to excel in solitude is a rare and invaluable trait. It’s like a superpower that can lead to profound personal growth, creativity, and inner peace.
But what makes these solitude-savvy individuals tick?
Well, the answer may lie in Stoicism, an ancient philosophy that offers timeless wisdom on living a fulfilling life. Stoics like Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus mastered the art of solitude, and their teachings provide a roadmap for us to do the same.
In this article, we’ll dive into some Stoic traits that people who excel in solitude almost always have.
Whether you’re looking to deepen your own solitary experiences or simply understand what makes these individuals so adept at being alone, these insights will guide you toward a more serene and self-sufficient life.
Let’s get into it.
1) A lack of need for external validation
As Marcus Aurelius wisely noted, “I often wonder how it is that everyone loves himself more than all the world and yet takes less account of his own judgment of himself than of the judgment of the world.”
This quote encapsulates a fundamental Stoic belief: true contentment comes from within. Stoics teach us to focus on our own judgments and not to be swayed by the opinions of others. By valuing their own internal standards over external validation, Stoics find stability and confidence that external approval could never provide.
The same can be said for people who thrive alone. They don’t need a pat on the back from others to feel good about themselves. This inner confidence is rooted in a deep understanding of their own values and principles.
Cultivating this trait involves a conscious shift in perspective. Start by setting personal goals that align with your values and measure your success against these internal benchmarks. Engage in regular self-reflection to ensure your actions and decisions are in harmony with your principles.
2) A curious mind
“No man can live a happy life or even a supportable life without the study of wisdom.”— Seneca (Moral letters to Lucilius/Letter 16)
At the heart of thriving in solitude is a curious mind. Those who excel in being alone are often driven by an insatiable thirst for knowledge and understanding. They see solitude not as a void to be filled but as an opportunity to explore new ideas, learn new skills, and engage deeply with their thoughts.
People with a curious mind are never truly alone because their thoughts and interests keep them company. They use their time alone to read, study, and reflect, constantly seeking to expand their horizons and deepen their wisdom. This curiosity fuels their inner life, making their solitude vibrant and fulfilling.
For the Stoics, the pursuit of wisdom was also a lifelong endeavor. They believed that true contentment and resilience stemmed from a deep understanding of oneself and the world.
To cultivate a curious mind, start by embracing a love for learning. Set aside time each day to read, whether it’s books, articles, or research on topics that fascinate you. Keep a journal to record your thoughts and reflections, and don’t shy away from challenging your own beliefs and assumptions.
3) The ability to find peace in oneself
Do you ever find yourself restless when you’re alone, searching for distractions to fill the silence?
The ability to find peace in oneself is a hallmark of those who excel in solitude.
Marcus Aurelius, one of the great Stoic philosophers, urged, “Retreat into yourself.” This quote highlights the essence of finding inner peace—a state of tranquility that comes from within, independent of external circumstances.
Those who do well alone have learned to be comfortable with their own company. They don’t need external noise or activities to feel content. Instead, they have cultivated an inner sanctuary where they can retreat, reflect, and rejuvenate. This inner peace is a powerful tool that shields them from the chaos of the outside world.
4) An acceptance of things not in their control
The Stoic philosopher Epictetus famously said, “Of all existing things some are in our power and others are not in our power.” (The Discourses of Epictetus , 1916)
This wisdom forms the cornerstone of Stoic thought and is crucial for anyone seeking to thrive in solitude.
People who thrive in solitude understand the futility of worrying about things outside their control. Instead, they focus their energy on what they can influence: their thoughts, actions, and reactions. This acceptance brings a sense of peace and empowerment, as they no longer waste mental and emotional resources on the uncontrollable.
Want to incorporate this into your life?
Start by identifying the aspects of your life that are within your control. These might include your responses to situations, your habits, and your mindset. For everything else, remind yourself that worrying or stressing over it will not change the outcome.
Instead, focus on what you can do to navigate these circumstances effectively.
The bottom line
Thriving in solitude isn’t about isolation; it’s about cultivating inner strength, wisdom, and peace.
By embodying these Stoic traits —you can transform solitude into a powerful opportunity for growth.
We’d love to hear your thoughts! How do you make the most of your alone time? Which Stoic principles resonate with you the most?
Share your experiences and insights in the comments below.
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What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
