There’s an undeniable link between our childhood experiences and the traits we display as adults.
Take a moment to consider individuals who’ve had a difficult upbringing. You might just notice that they often exhibit certain characteristics – traits that are rooted in Stoicism.
Stoicism, an ancient philosophy, teaches us how to remain calm and composed in the face of adversity. And those who had tough beginnings?
They’ve unknowingly mastered some of its principles.
In this article, we’re going to delve into these 7 Stoic traits commonly seen in those who’ve had a challenging childhood. And trust me, their strength and resilience might just surprise you.
1) Embracing adversity
Stoicism teaches us to see challenges not as obstacles, but as opportunities for growth and learning. This mindset is often ingrained in those who had a difficult childhood.
They’ve encountered their fair share of adversity early on in life. But instead of letting it break them, they’ve learned to use it as a stepping stone towards building resilience and strength. Their hardships have taught them the art of perseverance.
This stoic trait of embracing adversity doesn’t mean they enjoy suffering. Far from it. It means they understand that life is filled with ups and downs, and they’ve mastered the ability to navigate through them with composure and grace.
It’s a unique blend of realism and optimism that makes them stand out. They know that pain exists, but they also believe in their power to overcome it.
And that’s what makes them such strong individuals.
2) Living in the present
One thing I’ve noticed about people who’ve had a tough start in life is their ability to truly live in the present. They’ve learned early on that dwelling on the past or worrying about the future doesn’t serve them.
I remember a friend who had a particularly hard childhood. Despite his circumstances, he had this remarkable gift of being able to fully immerse himself in the present moment.
We’d be sitting in a park, and he would notice the smallest details – the rustling of the leaves, the feel of the breeze, the laughter of children playing nearby. He taught me how to appreciate these simple moments, stating that it was these ‘now’ moments that truly mattered.
This stoic philosophy of focusing on the present, of controlling what can be controlled and letting go of what can’t, is something he had mastered. It was inspiring, and it’s a trait I’ve noticed in many who’ve faced early-life hardships.
3) Emotional resilience
Emotional resilience is a stoic trait often observed in individuals who’ve had a challenging childhood. They’ve experienced hardships that have forced them to develop a level of emotional strength that many of us aspire to attain.
Interestingly, experts suggest that the brain’s ability to adapt to adverse experiences, also known as neuroplasticity, plays a key role in developing this emotional resilience. This means that the adversities faced by these individuals in their early years have shaped their brains in a way that has made them more resilient to stress and emotional challenges.
This doesn’t mean they’re immune to emotional pain. Instead, they understand that emotions are temporary and that they have the ability to recover from emotional setbacks. They’ve learned to manage their emotions, rather than be controlled by them. It’s a valuable skill that serves them well in different areas of life.
4) Acceptance of what cannot be changed
Acceptance is a major tenet of Stoicism, and it’s a trait that shines brightly in those who’ve faced adversity early in life. They’ve learned the hard way that certain things are simply beyond their control.
Instead of wasting energy on futile efforts to change these unchangeable circumstances, they focus on what they can control – their reactions, their attitudes, their actions. They understand that acceptance isn’t about giving up or admitting defeat, but about recognizing reality as it is.
This acceptance allows them to navigate life’s challenges with a sense of calm and composure. It reduces unnecessary stress and enables them to make more rational decisions. It’s a powerful trait that helps them lead happier, more peaceful lives.
5) Inner peace over external validation
There’s something incredibly liberating about not seeking validation from others. It’s a trait I’ve had to learn the hard way, and it’s something I’ve noticed in those who’ve had a challenging upbringing.
Back in my high school days, I was constantly seeking approval from my peers. I wanted to fit in, to be liked, to be accepted. It was exhausting and left me feeling constantly anxious.
But then, I met someone who’d had a difficult childhood. He didn’t seek validation from anyone. He was content with who he was and didn’t feel the need to please others or conform to societal standards. His sense of self-worth came from within.
That encounter was a wake-up call for me. It made me realize that true peace comes from within, not from external validation. That stoic principle of valuing inner peace over external validation is something I’ve tried to incorporate into my life ever since.
6) The power of perspective
Another Stoic trait often displayed by those who’ve had a difficult start in life is the power of perspective. They’ve learned to see things from different angles and understand that our perception can drastically alter our experience.
They’ve been through hardships and have seen life’s lows. This gives them a unique lens through which they view their experiences. They’re able to see the silver lining in difficult situations, finding lessons where others might only see failure.
This shift in perspective allows them to turn negatives into positives, making them more resilient and adaptable. It’s a powerful trait that not only helps them navigate life’s challenges but also contributes to their overall wellbeing.
7) Valuing simplicity
Lastly, the one Stoic trait that is almost universal in those who’ve had difficult childhoods is their appreciation for simplicity. They understand that happiness doesn’t come from material possessions or complicated endeavors, but from simple, meaningful moments.
They value genuine relationships over social status, experiences over possessions, and peace of mind over wealth. They’ve realized that the simplest things often hold the most value.
Final thoughts: The strength in adversity
The human spirit is incredibly resilient. When faced with adversity, it can adapt, learn, and grow in ways that are truly remarkable.
Those who’ve had a difficult childhood often develop these Stoic traits out of necessity. They are a testament to their strength, resilience, and determination to overcome life’s challenges.
As the renowned Stoic philosopher, Seneca once said, “Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.”
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
