Dealing with criticism is no easy feat, but some people seem to handle it better than others. You might wonder how they do it without losing their cool.
The answer often lies in their habits – specifically, Stoic habits.
In this article, we’re going to explore eight common Stoic habits of people who handle criticism well.
Whether you’re currently struggling with criticism or just want to be more resilient, these habits can provide some valuable insights.
Let’s dive in!
1) They acknowledge their emotions
Criticism, whether valid or not, can sting. It’s natural to feel defensive, upset, or even angry in response.
However, people who handle criticism well have a habit of acknowledging these emotions rather than denying or suppressing them.
This is key – recognizing and accepting what they’re feeling. By doing this, they’re able to separate the criticism from their emotional response to it.
Once they’ve acknowledged their emotions, they can observe them without letting them cloud their judgement. This allows them to assess the criticism objectively and decide if it has merit.
2) They focus on what they can control
I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist, so criticism used to hit me hard. I’d spend hours ruminating over a single negative comment, even if it was surrounded by positive feedback.
But then I stumbled upon Stoicism and its emphasis on focusing only on what we can control. This principle made me realize that I couldn’t control other people’s opinions or comments about me. What I could control was how I reacted to them and how I let them impact me.
Now, when I receive criticism, I try to treat it as an opportunity for growth. I assess the feedback, determine if there’s any truth to it and if there is, I use it to improve. If there isn’t, I simply let it go.
Adopting this Stoic habit has made handling criticism much more manageable for me. It allows me to stay centered, regardless of the feedback I receive.
3) They see criticism for what it really is…an opinion
Marcus Aurelius, one of the most famous Stoic philosophers and Roman Emperor, once wrote, “Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”
People who handle criticism well often adopt this Stoic perspective. They understand that each piece of criticism is just another person’s perspective.
5) They choose empathy over anger
It’s easy to react to criticism with anger or resentment. After all, nobody likes to hear negative things about themselves. But those who handle criticism well take a different approach – they choose empathy.
From a Stoic perspective, people who criticize others are often dealing with their own struggles and insecurities. Understanding this, those ‘criticism champions’ choose to respond with compassion rather than hostility.
Instead of lashing out, they practice empathy. They strive to understand where the other person is coming from, even if they don’t agree with their point of view.
This heartfelt response not only defuses tension, but it also adds a layer of understanding that can lead to better communication and resolution.
6) They don’t let it define their worth
People who handle criticism well have the Stoic habit of not letting others’ judgments define their self-worth. They understand that everyone has their own biases and perspectives, and they don’t internalize every piece of negative feedback they receive.
Marcus Aurelius famously advised, “How great a rest from labour he gains who does not look to what his neighbour says or does or thinks but only what himeslf is doing.”(The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Those who handle criticism well take this to heart, focusing on their own actions and values rather than getting caught up in what others think..
By letting go of others’ judgments, you free yourself from the unnecessary burden of trying to please everyone and can instead concentrate on your personal growth and goals.
7) They take time to reflect
Taking the time to reflect is a crucial part of handling criticism effectively. It’s all too easy to react impulsively when criticized, but those who handle criticism well know the importance of pausing and reflecting.
This is a key tenet of Stoicism – taking the time to consider your thoughts and actions carefully. This habit ensures that their response to criticism is thoughtful and measured, rather than reactive and emotional.
When they receive criticism, they don’t respond immediately. Instead, they give themselves the time to process it, to consider the validity of the criticism, and to decide on the best course of action.
In this way, they are able to handle criticism in a more rational and constructive manner.
8) They practice resilience
Resilience is perhaps the most important habit when it comes to dealing with criticism. Those who handle criticism well don’t let it deter them from their path. They understand that setbacks and criticisms are part of the journey and not the end of it.
Stoics believe in the power of endurance and resilience. They understand that criticism, like all things in life, is temporary and not a reflection of their worth or abilities.
By practicing resilience, they’re able to bounce back from criticism stronger and more determined than before. They view every piece of criticism as a stepping stone towards their goals, rather than a roadblock.
Final reflections: The power of Stoicism
Criticism is inevitable. But how we handle it can greatly impact our mental health, relationships, and overall wellbeing.
In essence, the ability to handle criticism well isn’t about ignoring or suppressing our feelings. It’s about understanding and managing them; it’s about learning and growing from each experience; it’s about building inner strength and resilience.
So next time you face criticism, remember these Stoic habits. They won’t make the criticism less harsh, but they might just help you handle it with grace and wisdom. After all, every piece of feedback is an opportunity for growth, if we choose to see it that way.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
