It’s often said that kindness and empathy are the cornerstones of any healthy relationship. I think we can all get on board with that.
But how do we spot when someone lacks these crucial qualities?
Well, friends, there are tell-tale signs to look out for. As a relationship expert, I’ve identified eight behaviors typically displayed by individuals who lack kindness and empathy.
And I’m here to share them with you so that you can better understand the people around you and navigate your relationships more effectively.
Ready to dive in?
Let’s get started.
1) They show disregard for other’s feelings
In the world of human relationships, empathy is key. It’s what allows us to feel and understand the emotions of others.
But what happens when someone lacks this vital attribute?
Well, they tend to show a blatant disregard for other people’s feelings.
In my years of observation and interaction, I’ve noticed that individuals who lack kindness and empathy often seem indifferent to how their actions or words might affect others. They operate on a me-first basis, showing little or no consideration for the emotional impact of their behavior.
It’s as if they’re in their own bubble, oblivious to the ripples they create around them. This disregard can manifest in various ways; from dismissive comments and lack of emotional support, to more severe forms of emotional neglect.
Recognizing this behavior is the first step towards understanding and dealing with such individuals. It also helps us to better protect our emotional well-being. But remember, everyone can have off days. It’s when this behavior becomes a pattern that it’s a cause for concern.
2) They struggle with genuine compliments
Here’s a little something I’ve learned over the years, folks: Kind and empathetic people are usually great at giving compliments. They see the good in others and they’re not afraid to voice it out.
However, those who lack these qualities? Well, that’s a different story. They often struggle to give genuine compliments. It’s as if praising someone else takes something away from them. Their compliments, if given at all, might feel forced or even serve as a backhanded insult.
Genuine kindness shines through in our words and actions. And when someone struggles to say something nice about others? Well, that’s a red flag.
3) They often play the victim
Now, this is a behavior I’ve come across numerous times in my work as a relationship expert. Those lacking empathy and kindness often have a knack for playing the victim.
No matter the situation, they somehow manage to twist things around to make themselves appear as the wronged party. It’s a manipulation tactic that can be tricky to spot but is so so damaging.
In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into how this type of behavior can contribute to codependency in relationships.
But for now, just know that it’s crucial to acknowledge that everyone has a part to play in any given situation. Those who consistently play the victim are often trying to evade responsibility for their actions.
Stay aware, my friends. Recognizing this behavior is a massive step towards healthier relationships.
4) They can be excessively charming
Now, this might come as a surprise. Shouldn’t a lack of kindness and empathy translate to a grumpy demeanor?
Well, not necessarily.
I’ve noticed that people lacking empathy often turn on the charm when it suits their interests. They can be incredibly charismatic, making it difficult to suspect their underlying lack of empathy.
This charm serves as a mask, a tool they use to get what they want. But it’s important to distinguish between genuine charm, which stems from kindness and empathy, and manipulative charm, which is self-serving and devoid of real emotion.
All that glitters is not gold. It’s essential to look beyond the surface and not get swayed by superficial charm. Trust your instincts and observe their behavior over time; this will give you a clearer picture.
5) They struggle with active listening
One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in my career is the power of active listening. It’s a powerful tool for building strong, meaningful connections.
But here’s the thing: individuals lacking empathy and kindness often struggle with this. They might hear you, but they aren’t really listening. They’re not interested in understanding your perspective or feelings; they’re more focused on their own thoughts and agenda.
I’ve sat across many such individuals in my counseling sessions. They’ll nod and make all the right noises, but you can tell they are not fully engaged or understanding.
So, don’t just settle for being heard. You deserve to be truly listened to, to have your feelings acknowledged and understood.
6) They lack genuine remorse
This one’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s important to face it head on.
Individuals who lack kindness and empathy often display a profound lack of genuine remorse.
When they hurt others, either intentionally or unintentionally, they struggle to feel true regret. Instead of apologizing sincerely, they might offer excuses or even try to shift the blame onto others.
It’s a hard reality to confront, especially when you care about the person. But understanding this can help protect your emotional wellbeing and set healthier boundaries in your relationships.
7) They lack emotional depth
I’ve often found in my line of work that individuals lacking empathy and kindness tend to struggle with emotional depth. It’s as if their emotional spectrum is limited, making it hard for them to connect on a deeper level.
They might avoid serious conversations or struggle to understand complex emotions. This lack of emotional depth can make their interactions feel shallow and superficial.
Sadly, emotionally shallow individuals evade deep perception because it requires them to feel and empathize, something they inherently struggle with.
8) They have a sense of entitlement
This last point is a harsh truth, but it’s another we need to confront. Those who lack empathy and kindness often have a pronounced sense of entitlement.
They believe they’re deserving of special treatment, irrespective of their actions or the feelings of others. This sense of entitlement can lead them to make unreasonable demands, disregard boundaries, and generally behave as though the world revolves around them.
It’s a tough behavior to deal with, and it can be emotionally draining for those around them. But recognizing it for what it is can be a real game changer.
Conclusion
There you have it, friends – eight behaviors often displayed by individuals lacking kindness and empathy. Recognizing these behaviors is the first step towards building healthier relationships and protecting your emotional wellbeing.
Remember, it’s not your job to change anyone. But having this awareness allows you to make more informed decisions about the relationships you want to nurture.
As always, remember to treat yourself with the same kindness and empathy you extend to others. You’re worth it.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
