There’s a stark contrast between people who find contentment in life and those who don’t.
This difference often boils down to certain behaviors. People who never seem to find satisfaction in life often display patterns of behavior that keep them stuck in a cycle of discontentment.
As someone who’s observed these patterns, I can tell you that identifying these behaviors can help you understand why contentment may be elusive.
But once we understand these patterns, it becomes easier to break free from them and start on the path toward true satisfaction. What patterns?
Well, these eight are a great place to start.
1) Constant comparison
We’ve all heard the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” And for those who never find contentment in life, this behavior is often a constant companion.
In a world where social media allows us to peek into everyone else’s highlight reels, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing our own lives with theirs. This constant comparison fuels feelings of inadequacy and discontentment.
The problem with this is that it’s a never-ending cycle. No matter how much you achieve, there will always be someone else who appears to have more.
Those who never find contentment are often stuck in a perpetual state of comparison. They’re always looking at what others have and what they lack, which prevents them from appreciating what they already have.
The key to breaking free from this cycle?
Realize that everyone’s journey is different and unique. Comparing your path to someone else’s will only lead to unhappiness and dissatisfaction.
2) Chasing perfection
In my own life, I’ve observed that the pursuit of perfection can lead to a lack of contentment.
I remember a time when I was working on a project that I wanted to be flawless. I spent countless hours tweaking and refining every little detail. But no matter how hard I worked, it never seemed “good enough” to me.
The more I strived for perfection, the more discontent I became. I was so focused on trying to make everything perfect that I couldn’t appreciate the progress I had made. It was a frustrating cycle that left me feeling unfulfilled and unhappy.
This is a common behavior among those who never find contentment in life. They’re always striving for perfection, never satisfied with ‘good enough’. But the truth is, perfection is an impossible standard.
Chasing after it only leads to frustration and a constant feeling of inadequacy.
3) Living in the future
Another one of the behaviors often displayed by those who never find contentment is constantly living in the future. They’re always focused on the next big thing – the next promotion, the next vacation, the next major purchase.
But as put by Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius:
“Each of us lives only in the present, this brief moment; the rest is either a life that is past or is an uncertain future” Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
When we’re always looking ahead, we miss out on the beauty of now. We overlook our current blessings because we’re too focused on what we don’t yet have. This constant striving for future happiness prevents us from finding contentment in our current circumstances.
Learning to appreciate and savor the present moment can be a powerful step towards finding true contentment.
4) Neglecting self-care
Whether it’s skipping meals, not getting enough sleep, or continuously pushing through stress without taking time to relax and recharge, this disregard for their own well-being can significantly impact their happiness.
When we don’t take care of ourselves, it’s hard to feel content. We may end up feeling worn out, stressed, and generally unhappy.
Plus, neglecting self-care can also have serious physical health consequences, making it even harder to find joy and satisfaction in life.
It’s important to remember that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary for our overall well-being. Making time for relaxation, ensuring we’re eating well and getting enough sleep, and taking care of our physical health can all contribute to a greater sense of contentment in life.
5) Holding onto past hurts
Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us, and sometimes, these can leave deep emotional scars.
Whether it’s a failed relationship, a lost job, or an estranged family member, holding onto the pain of these experiences can prevent us from moving forward. It’s like dragging a heavy weight around with us everywhere we go. It’s exhausting, and it leaves little room for happiness or contentment.
Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or saying that what happened was okay. It means acknowledging the pain, learning from it, and then choosing to let it go so it doesn’t control your life anymore.
It’s not an easy process, but it’s a necessary one. Because in the end, holding onto past hurts only hurts us more.
And we all deserve to find contentness and peace in our lives.
6) Fear of change
“Nature loves nothing so much as to change what it is and to create new things in their likeness” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
There was a time in my life where I found myself stuck in a job that was no longer fulfilling. I knew I needed to make a change, but the thought of leaving my comfort zone felt overwhelming.
The fear of the unknown, of potentially making the wrong decision, kept me rooted in place.
This is a behavior I’ve noticed in others who struggle to find contentness in life – an intense fear of change. It’s an understandable fear – change can be scary. But staying in situations that aren’t fulfilling out of fear can lead to a life of discontentment.
The reality is, change is a part of life. It’s how we grow and learn.
Embracing change rather than fearing it can open up new possibilities and lead to a more satisfying and content life.
7) Lack of gratitude
It’s so so easy to focus on what’s missing in our lives or what we wish was different. But this negative focus can blind us to the many things we have to be grateful for.
As noted by experts, practicing gratitude can increase reduce stress, lead to better sleep and even improve physical health.
Of course, practicing gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring life’s challenges. It means choosing to focus on the good in our lives, even during tough times.
By shifting our focus from what we lack to what we have, we can cultivate a sense of contentment and satisfaction that isn’t dependent on external circumstances.
8) Avoidance of self-reflection
Perhaps the most crucial behavior that keeps people from finding contentment in life is the avoidance of self-reflection. It’s comfortable to go through life on autopilot, never questioning our actions, motivations, or feelings. But without self-reflection, it’s easy to get stuck in patterns of behavior that don’t serve us.
Self-reflection allows us to understand ourselves better. It helps us identify what’s working in our lives and what isn’t. It helps us make conscious decisions about how we want to live and who we want to be.
Avoiding self-reflection may feel easier in the short term, but in the long run, it prevents us from living a life that’s true to who we are. And ultimately, living authentically is key to finding true contentment.
Final thoughts: The path towards contentment
In our journey of life, contentment is a destination we all aspire to reach. It’s a state of being where we are at peace with ourselves, our circumstances, and the world around us.
Yet, as we’ve discussed, certain behaviors can create obstacles on this path. Do any of these sound familiar to you?
If so, know tha understanding and recognizing these behaviors is the first step towards overcoming them.
And remember, change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process that requires patience and perseverance. But with each step we take to address these behaviors, we move closer to finding the contentment we seek.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
