In today’s world of relentless social media updates and constant digital noise, there remains a select group of individuals who prefer to keep their lives off the grid.
They’re the silent observers, the ones who navigate the digital landscape with a certain quiet grace, rarely sharing or posting about their personal journey. In a culture that thrives on over-sharing, these people seem to be marching to the beat of their own drum.
Their secret weapon?
It might just be Stoicism – an ancient philosophy that promotes self-control and inner strength as a way to overcome life’s hurdles.
Stoicism principles are almost the opposite of chasing likes or fabricating a perfect digital persona. It’s about developing resilience, embracing simplicity, and seeking internal contentment.
In this article, we’ll explore the nine Stoic traits often exhibited by these social-media-shy people.
Let’s dive in.
1. They value authenticity
Ever noticed how some people are just comfortable in their own skin, seemingly immune to the pressures of fitting into societal norms?
This trait can often be found in those who prefer to keep their social media activity to a minimum.
Stoics place a high value on authenticity, believing that it is essential to maintaining inner peace and strength. They aren’t interested in curating a perfect image on social media or seeking external validation. Instead, they focus on being true to themselves and living according to their values.
2. They practice emotional resilience
Stoics are often seen as masters of emotional resilience, understanding that life’s hurdles are inevitable and focusing on their responses to these challenges.
For some, social media can often feel like a rollercoaster of emotions, with its constant stream of highs and lows. By choosing to stay away from it, Stoics maintain their emotional balance and prevent unnecessary stress.
Let me give you a personal example. A good friend of mine, let’s call him Jake, was always the calm in the storm. He rarely posted on social media and seemed to navigate life’s ups and downs with a stoic grace.
One day, I asked him how he managed to stay so level-headed. He simply smiled and said, “I can’t control what happens to me, but I can control how I react to it.” That’s when it clicked for me: Jake was practicing Stoicism.
By limiting his exposure to the emotional whirlwind of social media, Jake was better able to manage his reactions and maintain his emotional resilience.
It’s something that we could all benefit from considering: How often does social media disrupt your emotional balance? And how might stepping back allow you to better manage your reactions?
3. They focus on what’s in their control
The Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, a prominent Stoic philosopher, once wrote, “You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
This idea that we should focus on what we can control and accept what we can’t is at the heart of Stoicism.
In the context of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others, feeling inadequate when we see someone else’s success or happiness. However, this comparison game is a futile one because we can’t control what others do or say.
What we can control, though, is how much we let these external factors affect us.
People exhibiting Stoic traits understand this and thus often tend to stay away from social media platforms that can trigger these comparisons and feelings of inadequacy. By doing so, they keep their focus on improving themselves and their own lives instead of getting caught up in the whirlwind of others’ lives.
4. They focus on inner peace
Picture this: It’s early Sunday morning. The sun is just peeping over the horizon, painting the sky with hues of pink and orange. You’re sitting on your porch with a cup of coffee, feeling the cool morning breeze on your skin and listening to the world wake up.
There are no pings from your phone, no notifications demanding your attention. Just you, your thoughts, and the peaceful quiet of the morning. Doesn’t that sound serene?
This tranquility is what stoics strive for — a calm state of mind, undisturbed by external events or opinions. Social media, with its constant noise and demand for attention, can often disrupt this tranquility. That’s why those who prefer to stay private usually limit their social media use.
By doing so, they make space for reflection and mindfulness, allowing them to maintain their inner peace in a chaotic world.
5. They value real connections
According to research, there is a link between social media use and feelings of loneliness and depression. The more time spent on social media, the more isolated individuals tend to feel.
It’s an ironic twist in a world where social media platforms are designed to connect us.
Stoics, however, understand the importance of meaningful, real-life connections over the superficial relationships often fostered on social media. They value deep conversations and shared experiences that can’t be adequately captured in a post or a tweet.
By limiting their social media use, they’re able to dedicate more time and energy to nurturing these real-world relationships.
Take a moment to reflect on your own connections. Are your relationships primarily digital, or do you make time for face-to-face interactions? Do your online interactions add value to your life, or do they leave you feeling more isolated?
It might be worthwhile to follow in the footsteps of stoics and put more emphasis on cultivating genuine connections.
6. They understand the value of time
A few years ago, I had a mentor who was incredibly disciplined with his time. He was always fully present in the moment, whether he was in a meeting, having lunch, or spending time with his family.
One day, I asked him how he managed to be so efficient and present. He confessed that he had deleted all his social media apps.
“I realized I was wasting hours scrolling mindlessly,” he said. “Those are hours I could be using to learn something new, spend quality time with my family, or just enjoy the world around me.”
His words reflect a key principle of Stoicism – understanding the value of time. Stoics believe that our time is one of our most precious resources and that we should use it wisely. P
People who stay private on social media tend to share this view. Instead of spending their time in the endless scroll of social media feeds, they choose to invest it in more meaningful activities.
7. They seek wisdom and personal growth
Stoics believe that we should always be learning, evolving, and bettering ourselves. For many stoics, social media doesn’t contribute to this goal. Instead, it often serves as a distraction, pulling attention away from more enlightening pursuits.
They prefer to use the time they save to engage in activities that promote personal growth. They read, learn new skills, pursue hobbies, spend time in nature, meditate, or simply reflect on their experiences and emotions.
Do you find that social media helps or hinders your personal growth? Are there other activities that could better serve your quest for wisdom?
Reflecting on these questions can provide valuable insights into how we spend our time and where we might make changes to foster personal development.
8. They don’t crave external validation
In a world where likes, comments, and shares have become a barometer for social approval, Stoics stand firm in their independence.
They understand that their worth is not defined by how others perceive them but by their actions, values, and integrity. This self-sufficient attitude allows them to engage with social media on their terms, if at all, without being swayed by the need for external validation.
How much do you rely on social media for validation? Does the number of likes or comments affect your mood or self-perception? If they do, it might be worth exploring the Stoic practice of self-sufficiency to gain a healthier perspective on your social media use.
The bottom line
In an era dominated by digital communication and social media, choosing to maintain a low profile can be a powerful act.
As we’ve explored, this choice often aligns with the principles of Stoicism, a philosophy centered on authenticity, resilience, mindfulness, and personal growth. By limiting their social media use, these individuals are better able to focus on what truly matters to them.
But remember, everyone’s journey is unique. What works for one person may not work for another. The key is to find the balance that allows you to live authentically and fully.
We’d love to hear from you. Have you ever considered reducing your social media presence? Or maybe you’re already practicing some form of digital minimalism?
Share your experiences and thoughts in the comments below.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
