At a glance, some people seem perfectly fine. But if you look a little closer, you might pick up on subtle signs that everything is not as it seems.
We’re all good at hiding our pain and struggles sometimes, especially when they’re not visible on the surface. But beneath the facade, there can be a world of quiet suffering.
And the thing is, these folks often exhibit certain subtle behaviors that reveal their hidden struggles.
In this article, we’ll delve into these tell-tale signs, exploring “10 subtle behaviors displayed by people who are fine on the surface but broken underneath”. It’s time to learn how to read between the lines.
1) They’re masters of disguise
Many individuals who are broken underneath have perfected the art of appearing “fine”.
They’ve developed a knack for concealing their inner turmoil with a convincing facade. You’ll often see them smiling, engaging in social interactions, and even making jokes.
But don’t let this fool you. This is their protective armor, their way of dealing with the world while they’re battling their inner demons.
The key here is to look beyond the surface. If you notice that their laughter doesn’t quite reach their eyes, or their jovial demeanor seems forced or exaggerated, it might be a subtle sign that they’re carrying a heavy burden underneath.
Remember, it’s not about making assumptions, but being aware and understanding that not everything is as it appears on the surface.
2) They’re often lost in thought
From my own experiences, I’ve noticed that people carrying hidden struggles are often quite reflective.
I remember a friend of mine, always deep in thought, seemingly lost in her own world. On the outside, she was a cheerful, lively person who always had a smile ready. But when she thought no one was looking, I would see her expression change, her gaze distant.
At first, I thought she was just daydreaming or lost in her thoughts. But over time, I realized that these moments of introspection were not just fleeting instances. They were a subtle sign of her underlying struggles she was trying to deal with.
So if you notice someone frequently drifting off or seeming unusually introspective, this could be a subtle sign of a deeper struggle. It’s not about prying, but offering a listening ear could make all the difference.
3) They’re always busy
People who are carrying internal struggles may often throw themselves into work or other activities, keeping their schedule packed to the brim.
This hyperactivity serves as a distraction, a way to keep their mind off their troubles. By staying busy, they’re able to avoid confronting the issues that are causing them pain or discomfort.
Did you know that workaholism can actually be a sign of emotional distress? Research has shown that individuals often use work as a coping mechanism to deal with emotional pain.
So if someone is constantly on the go, always busying themselves with tasks and commitments, it might be a sign they’re dealing with something beneath the surface. It’s not about judgement, but understanding, and offering support if needed.
4) They’re overly sensitive to criticism
People who seem fine on the outside but are battling internal struggles often have a heightened sensitivity to criticism. Even the most constructive feedback can be perceived as an attack or rejection.
This heightened sensitivity is often due to a lack of self-esteem or internal insecurities. They are already harsh critics of themselves, so any external criticism can feel like a confirmation of their worst fears or beliefs about themselves.
So, if you notice someone reacting strongly to even mild criticism, it might be a sign they are dealing with inner pain. Understanding and approaching with empathy can make a profound difference in their lives.
5) They avoid deep personal conversations
People dealing with hidden struggles typically steer clear of deep, personal conversations. They tend to keep things light and surface-level, avoiding any discussion that might lead to revealing their inner turmoil.
This reluctance is often a protective mechanism. By keeping conversations superficial, they prevent themselves from becoming vulnerable and exposing their pain.
So, if you notice someone constantly deflecting personal questions or changing the subject when things get a little deep, it could be a subtle sign of their underlying struggles. Remember, it’s about understanding and not pushing them into anything they aren’t ready to discuss.
6) They’re always there for others
Ironically, those who carry the most pain are often the first ones to reach out and help others. They understand what it’s like to struggle silently, and they don’t wish it upon anyone else.
They’re the friends who’ll drop everything to be there for you, the colleagues who’ll go out of their way to lend a hand, the family members who never say no to a cry for help.
But while they’re busy caring for others, they seldom seek help for themselves. They shoulder their own burdens quietly, often feeling that their problems aren’t as important or don’t want to burden others with their issues.
So, if you find someone constantly extending help but rarely accepting it, it could be a sign of their hidden struggles. Let them know it’s okay to lean on others too, and that they don’t have to go through it alone.
7) They’re night owls
Many people dealing with internal struggles find themselves wide awake during the late hours. For some, the quiet of the night provides a refuge, a time when they can let their guard down without anyone watching.
I recall countless nights of sitting up late, staring at the ceiling, lost in my own thoughts. The world was asleep, but sleep seemed to elude me. I realized later that this was a subtle sign of my own inner turmoil.
So if someone you know is always up late into the night, it might not just be a preference for the nocturnal hours. It could be a sign of an internal battle they’re fighting. Showing understanding and empathy can sometimes be the best support you can offer.
8) They’re exceptionally cheerful
It might seem strange, but those dealing with internal struggles can often be the most cheerful people in the room. They’ve mastered the art of putting on a happy front to mask their true feelings.
They laugh the loudest, tell the best jokes, and always seem to be in high spirits. But this constant cheerfulness can sometimes be a facade, a way to hide their pain and make others comfortable around them.
So, if there’s someone who’s always overly cheerful, it’s worth looking a little deeper. It could be their way of coping with an internal struggle. Remember, it’s not about suspicion, but about offering a safe space for them if they ever choose to open up.
9) They have erratic mood swings
People struggling internally can sometimes display unpredictable mood swings. One moment they’re perfectly fine, and in the next, they seem upset or withdrawn.
This emotional volatility can be a result of their internal battle. It takes a lot of energy to maintain a facade, and at times, the strain can lead to these sudden shifts in mood.
So if you notice someone’s mood fluctuating more frequently than usual, it could be a subtle sign of their hidden struggles. It’s not about labeling them as moody, but about understanding that there might be something deeper going on.
10) They’re uncomfortable with compliments
People dealing with hidden struggles often have a hard time accepting compliments. They might deflect praise, downplay their achievements, or even respond with self-deprecating humor.
This difficulty stems from a lack of self-worth or underlying feelings of not being good enough. Compliments clash with their internal narrative, making them uncomfortable.
So, if someone seems uneasy or dismissive when complimented, it might be a sign of their internal struggle. The essential thing to remember is that understanding and patience can go a long way in supporting them during their tough times.
Final thoughts: The strength in vulnerability
The complexities of human behavior are vast and varied, and often, what appears on the surface barely scratches the surface of what’s going on underneath.
Those who appear fine on the outside but are broken underneath often carry a strength that is hard to comprehend. They carry their struggles silently, put on a brave face, and navigate the world with resilience.
Remember, these subtle behaviors aren’t signs of weakness but an indication of their ongoing battle. A quote by K.B. Epsilon beautifully captures this, “The bravest hearts are the ones that are breaking.”
Understanding these subtle signs is the first step towards empathetic interaction. It’s about creating a safe space, offering support, and reminding them that it’s okay to not be okay.
As we navigate our interactions with others, let’s remember that everyone is fighting their own battles – some visibly, others quietly. And sometimes, the loudest cry for help comes from those who never utter a word.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
