Stoicism – an ancient school of philosophy known for its emphasis on virtue and integrity. But how do you recognize when someone is missing these qualities?
It’s not always easy, especially when a man is skillful at concealing his true nature. Stoicism, however, provides us with a useful lens to identify those who lack integrity.
The philosophers of old knew that actions speak far louder than words. And if you’re observant, there are clear signs that reveal when a man is sorely lacking in integrity.
In this article, we’ll explore some of these telltale signs, according to the wisdom of Stoicism. Keep reading if you want to sharpen your discernment and protect yourself from those who might attempt to deceive you.
1) Hollow words
According to Stoicism, actions speak louder than words.
A man lacking integrity will often make grandiose promises. He might depict himself as a paragon of virtue, or promise to accomplish great things. But when it comes down to it, his actions don’t match his words.
The Stoics valued consistency between words and deeds. They believed that one’s actions should always be in harmony with their principles. If you notice a persistent gap between what a man says and what he does, this is a red flag.
But remember, we all occasionally fall short of our ideals. The key is to look for patterns of inconsistency. If a man consistently fails to deliver on his promises or live up to his stated principles, it’s likely he lacks integrity.
Keep your eyes open for these discrepancies. They may just save you from unnecessary disappointment or trouble down the line.
2) Lack of accountability
As per Stoicism, taking responsibility for one’s actions is a key part of integrity.
I remember a friend I used to hang out with during my college years. Let’s call him Mark. Mark was a charismatic guy, always the life of the party, but there was one thing that always bothered me about him.
Whenever something went wrong, Mark was never at fault. It was always someone else’s mistake or some external circumstance that caused the problem. He never owned up to his actions or mistakes.
The Stoics believed in personal responsibility, in accepting our own faults and learning from them. They held that integrity meant acknowledging when we’ve messed up and taking steps to make it right.
Mark’s consistent refusal to take responsibility was a clear sign of his lack of integrity. So watch out for those who always play the blame game. It may be a sign that they’re not as trustworthy as they seem.
3) Unfair treatment of others
Stoicism places great emphasis on treating all humans with respect and fairness, regardless of their status or wealth.
Marcus Aurelius, a renowned Stoic philosopher and Roman Emperor, is known for his humble attitude towards his subjects. Despite his immense power, he treated everyone with dignity and fairness, believing that we are all equal parts of the human community.
When a man lacks integrity, he may show bias in his treatment of others. He might favor those who can benefit him and ignore or belittle those who can’t. Such behavior is a clear violation of Stoic principles.
Keep an eye out for those who treat others differently based on their status or what they can gain from them. This behavior is a clear sign that a man lacks integrity according to Stoic philosophy.
4) Unwillingness to grow
In Stoic philosophy, personal growth and self-improvement are at the heart of human life.
A man lacking integrity often resists change, preferring to stick to his ways, even when they’re clearly harmful or unproductive. This stubbornness stems from an unwillingness to admit flaws or mistakes.
The Stoics, however, believed in the importance of continually striving to become better versions of ourselves. They saw every challenge as an opportunity for growth and every mistake as a chance to learn.
If you encounter someone who is unwilling to admit their flaws and grow from them, this could be a clear sign of a lack of integrity. Remember, progress, not perfection, is the key to a virtuous life according to Stoicism.
5) Absence of empathy
Stoicism teaches that empathy is an essential part of our human nature.
A man lacking integrity often shows a lack of empathy towards others. He might dismiss other people’s feelings or experiences, focusing solely on his own needs and desires.
The Stoics, on the other hand, believed in the interconnectedness of all beings. They taught that we should strive to understand and share the feelings of others, and that doing so enriches our own lives.
If a man consistently shows an inability or unwillingness to empathize with others, it’s a clear sign that he lacks integrity. Watch for those who disregard or trivialize the emotions and experiences of those around them. Their lack of empathy speaks volumes about their character.
6) Dishonesty
The Stoics held truth and honesty in high regard. In their view, a man of integrity is someone who speaks the truth, even when it is inconvenient or uncomfortable.
Dishonesty, therefore, is a clear sign of a lack of integrity. A man who consistently lies, cheats, or misrepresents the truth is not living up to the Stoic principles of honesty and integrity.
I’ve seen the pain dishonesty can cause firsthand. Trust shattered, relationships broken, all because of lies and deceit. It’s a harsh reminder of why integrity matters so much.
Remember, a single lie can cast doubt on every truth. If a man is consistently dishonest, he is showing you that he lacks the integrity that Stoics so highly valued.
7) Lack of respect for others
Stoicism teaches us that every human being deserves respect, regardless of their status, wealth, or accomplishments.
A man who lacks integrity often fails to show respect to others. He might belittle people, dismiss their ideas without consideration, or treat them as less than equal.
Growing up, I had a teacher who never seemed to respect his students. He would dismiss our questions, ridicule our attempts to learn and generally made us feel insignificant. It was a painful experience that made me realize the importance of respect in any relationship.
8) Uncontrolled emotions
Stoicism emphasizes the importance of self-control, especially when it comes to our emotions.
A man without integrity often allows his emotions to control his actions. He might react impulsively, make rash decisions based on anger or fear, or allow his desires to dictate his choices.
The Stoics taught that we should strive to maintain control over our emotions, not allowing them to lead us astray from our principles and values.
If a man allows his emotions to dictate his actions without consideration for the consequences, it’s a clear sign that he lacks the integrity that Stoicism values so highly.
9) Self-centeredness
At the heart of Stoicism is the belief in the interconnectedness of all beings and the importance of community.
A man who lacks integrity often exhibits a high degree of self-centeredness. He prioritizes his own needs and desires above those of others, often at their expense.
The Stoics, on the other hand, believed in the importance of acting for the good of the community. They saw selfishness as a departure from our responsibility to contribute to the wellbeing of all.
The virtue of integrity
Stoicism has left us with a wealth of wisdom about how to live a virtuous, meaningful life. At the heart of these teachings is the concept of integrity, a quality that commands respect and fosters trust.
Marcus Aurelius, a leading Stoic philosopher, once said, “If it is not right, do not do it; if it is not true, do not say it.” These simple words capture the essence of integrity according to Stoicism.
Truth is, we will inevitably encounter individuals who lack integrity. Recognizing these signs is not just about protecting ourselves from deceit or harm. It’s also about understanding the standards we should set for our own behavior.
The Stoics believed that each of us has the power to cultivate virtue within ourselves. By striving to embody integrity in our own actions, we contribute positively to our communities and lead by example.
In the end, integrity is not just about how we treat others. It’s about who we are at our core. It’s about standing up for what’s right, even when no one is watching. It’s about being true to ourselves and living in alignment with our values.
As you reflect on these signs of a lack of integrity, consider also how you can deepen your own commitment to this essential virtue. In doing so, you honor the wisdom of the Stoics and contribute to a more honest, respectful, and compassionate world.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
