Stoicism teaches us that character is key. A good person isn’t merely defined by their actions, but by the nature of their character.
Sometimes people can put up a good front, but if you dig a bit deeper, you might find signs that they’re not as good as they seem.
According to Stoicism, there are specific tell-tale signs that someone may not be a good person. And believe me, understanding these signs can save you a world of trouble.
In this article, we’ll explore these signs in detail. Prepare to see people in a whole new light.
1) They’re self-centered
Stoicism puts a lot of emphasis on the community and the individual’s role within it.
A good person, according to Stoicism, is one who understands their duty to others and fulfills it. They are selfless, considerate, and always willing to lend a hand.
But what about those who only seem to think about themselves?
If someone is constantly putting their needs above others, it’s a clear sign they’re not following the Stoic path. They might appear charming or charismatic, but if their actions show a disregard for others, it’s a red flag.
Remember, actions speak louder than words. If they’re always taking and never giving, it might be time to reconsider whether they are truly a good person.
Always keep an eye out for this sign. It can save you a lot of heartache in the long run.
2) They lack empathy
Empathy is another cornerstone of Stoicism. The ability to understand and share the feelings of others is a clear indication of a good character.
But I once knew someone who lacked this completely. He was smart, successful, and incredibly persuasive. On the surface, he seemed like a great person.
But as I spent more time with him, I began to see how he struggled to understand the feelings of others. He would dismiss people’s emotions as irrelevant or overblown. He was quick to judge and slow to empathize.
I remember one situation where a friend of his was going through a difficult time. Instead of offering support or understanding, he simply brushed it off and changed the topic. It was a clear sign that he lacked empathy.
From a Stoic perspective, this lack of empathy was a significant red flag. It showed me that beneath his charming exterior, he was not truly a good person.
This is why it’s important to not just listen to what people say, but watch how they behave in different situations. Lack of empathy is a clear sign that someone might not be as good as they seem.
3) They avoid responsibility
Stoicism teaches us that taking responsibility for our actions is a key aspect of a virtuous life. It’s about accepting the consequences of our actions and learning from them.
But some people have a habit of avoiding responsibility. They blame others for their mistakes, or worse, they pretend like their mistakes never happened.
Did you know that the ancient Stoics used to practice a form of meditation called “premeditation of evils”? They would imagine things going wrong and how they would take responsibility and deal with them.
This practice helped them to face the realities of life bravely and responsibly.
If someone consistently shirks responsibility, it’s a sign they’re not following the principles of Stoicism. They’re choosing to live in denial rather than face the truth.
Remember, a good person according to Stoicism is one who acknowledges their mistakes, learns from them, and strives to do better.
4) They’re dishonest
Honesty is a core value of Stoicism. Stoics believe that truthfulness in thought, word, and deed is the cornerstone of a good character.
However, if someone has a habit of bending the truth or outright lying, that’s a clear indication they may not be a good person according to Stoic principles.
Dishonesty can take many forms. It could be as simple as exaggerating a story to make themselves look better, or as serious as deceiving others for personal gain.
A person’s honesty – or lack thereof – tells you a lot about their character. If someone can’t be trusted to tell the truth, how can they be trusted with anything else?
Always pay attention to a person’s honesty. It might reveal more about their character than they would like you to know.
5) They lack gratitude
Gratitude is a virtue that’s held in high regard by Stoicism. It’s about appreciating what you have and acknowledging the good in life.
We all have moments of taking things for granted, but if someone never seems to express gratitude, it’s quite disheartening. It hints at a lack of contentment and an inability to appreciate simple joys.
Some people are always chasing after the next big thing, never pausing to appreciate what they have. They lack the Stoic quality of cherishing the present moment and being thankful for it.
Stoicism teaches us that happiness doesn’t come from what we have, but how we relate to what we have. A person who lacks gratitude is missing out on this essential wisdom.
A heart filled with gratitude is a sign of a good person. If someone lacks this, they may not be as good as they seem.
6) They’re quick to anger
Stoicism teaches us the importance of keeping our emotions in check, especially anger. Anger often clouds our judgment, leading us to make decisions we might regret later.
I once struggled with this myself. I had a short fuse and would often explode over small issues. It took a lot of self-reflection and practice to learn how to manage my anger and respond calmly in frustrating situations.
If you encounter someone who quickly resorts to anger, it’s a sign they may not be a good person, according to Stoicism. It’s not about never getting angry, but knowing how to handle it when it arises.
Stoic wisdom advises us to respond to anger with understanding and patience. If someone frequently loses their temper, it may indicate a lack of control over their emotions, which is contrary to Stoic principles.
7) They’re unkind
Kindness is a fundamental value in Stoicism. Stoics believe that we should treat all people with respect and kindness, regardless of who they are or what they’ve done.
However, if someone consistently treats others poorly, it’s a clear indication they’re not living by Stoic principles.
Unkindness can take many forms. It could be rudeness, disrespect, or even cruelty. It’s a sign of a lack of empathy and a disregard for the feelings of others.
A person’s kindness – or lack thereof – is a clear indicator of their character. If someone can’t treat others with basic human decency, it raises serious questions about their character.
Kindness isn’t just about being nice. It’s about respecting others and treating them with dignity. If someone lacks this, it’s a clear sign they might not be a good person.
8) They lack self-discipline
Stoicism teaches us the importance of self-discipline. It’s about controlling our desires and impulses to lead a virtuous life.
If someone lacks self-discipline, it’s a clear indication they’re not living by Stoic principles. They might give in to their desires without thinking about the consequences, or they might struggle to stick to their commitments.
Self-discipline is more than just willpower. It’s about making the right decisions, even when it’s hard. It’s about staying true to your values, even when you’re tempted to stray.
If someone lacks self-discipline, it’s a clear sign they’re not a good person according to Stoicism. Because at the end of the day, a person’s character isn’t defined by their words, but by their actions. And actions are defined by discipline.
Reflection: The heart of Stoicism
Stoicism, at its core, is about self-reflection and personal growth. It’s about understanding our character, acknowledging our flaws, and striving to become better individuals.
Throughout history, Stoics have provided us with wisdom and guidance on how to lead a virtuous life.
They’ve shed light on the qualities that define a good person – honesty, empathy, responsibility, self-discipline, and more.
But it’s important to remember that no one is perfect. We all have our flaws and weaknesses. What matters is how we acknowledge these flaws and strive to improve ourselves.
As Marcus Aurelius, a renowned Stoic philosopher once said, “The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.”
So next time you encounter someone displaying any of these signs, don’t rush to judgment. Instead, use it as an opportunity for self-reflection.
Ask yourself if you’re embodying the Stoic virtues in your own life.
Remember, we are all works in progress. And through reflection and introspection, we can strive to be better.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
