Being unflappable is an art, a testament to the power of stoicism. It’s this unique ability to remain calm and composed, no matter what life throws your way.
Stoicism isn’t just a philosophy; for some, it’s a deeply ingrained part of their personalities. It’s not about being emotionless, but rather having control over those emotions.
But the question is, how does one master the art of being unflappable? How can you steal a page from the stoic’s playbook and inject that calmness into your own personality?
Let’s dive into the fascinating world of stoicism and discover how it shapes some people’s cool-as-a-cucumber demeanor.
1) Embrace the inevitable
The core of stoicism lies in the acceptance of life as it comes, the good and the bad.
Stoics don’t shy away from adversities. In fact, they expect them. They know that life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, and they’re okay with that.
This acceptance allows them to stay calm and composed in situations where most people would lose their cool. They understand that certain things are just out of their control, and instead of panicking, they focus on what they can control – their reactions.
So how do you apply this to your own life? The key is to expect the unexpected. Understand that not everything will always go your way and that’s perfectly fine.
By embracing the inevitable, you can maintain your composure and handle whatever life throws at you with grace. But remember, it’s not a question of suppressing your emotions. Instead, it’s about managing them effectively.
Mastering this art is the first step towards embodying stoicism in your personality. However, it’s important to understand that this isn’t a one-time deal. It’s a continuous process of mental conditioning that requires practice and patience.
2) Practice equanimity
Equanimity is a fundamental principle of stoicism, and it has been a game-changer for me.
I remember a time when I was up for a promotion at work. I had put in so much effort, worked late hours, and honestly felt that I deserved it. However, the promotion was given to someone else. Naturally, I was disappointed, even crushed.
But then, I remembered the teachings of stoicism. It wasn’t about ignoring my feelings of disappointment, but rather acknowledging them and then letting them go. I didn’t let this setback control my emotions or dictate my worth.
Instead, I used it as a learning experience and asked myself what I could do to improve and increase my chances for the next opportunity. This shift in perspective didn’t come naturally to me, but with practice, it became second nature.
The art of being unflappable isn’t about never feeling upset or disappointed. It’s about not letting those feelings take over your life. It’s about maintaining a balanced mind, irrespective of the circumstances.
Incorporating this principle into your life can lead to an immense sense of peace and resilience. It’s not easy, but with consistent practice, anyone can develop this stoic trait.
3) Live in the present
Stoics emphasize the importance of being in the present moment. They believe that focusing on the past or future only leads to unnecessary worry and anxiety.
The philosophy of stoicism was born in ancient Greece, around the same time as Buddhism was developing in India. Interestingly, both philosophies share a common emphasis on mindfulness, a practice of living fully in the present moment.
This isn’t about ignoring the past or not planning for the future. It’s about not letting those things consume you to the point where you miss out on what’s happening right now.
Life is happening in the here and now. By focusing on the present, stoics can appreciate what they have, rather than worrying about what they don’t. This mindful approach can lead to a greater sense of peace and fulfillment.
Incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine can be a simple yet powerful way to cultivate a stoic attitude. Whether it’s taking a few minutes to meditate each day or just taking a moment to truly appreciate your surroundings, these practices can help you stay grounded and unflappable.
4) Value virtue above all else
Stoics place a high value on virtue. They believe that living a good and moral life should always be the ultimate goal.
For stoics, virtues such as wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance aren’t just buzzwords. They’re the guiding principles that help them navigate their daily lives.
It’s not about attaining wealth, power, or fame. It’s about being the best possible version of yourself and living a life that aligns with your moral compass.
This focus on virtue helps stoics stay unflappable in the face of adversity. They understand that external circumstances can change in an instant, but your virtues and values are something that stays constant.
By valuing virtue above all else, you can live a more meaningful life and gain a sense of peace and tranquility that remains unshaken by external events. It’s not always easy to stand by your virtues, especially when faced with tempting shortcuts, but it’s a key element in the art of being unflappable.
5) Cultivate indifference to external things
One of the defining principles of stoicism is the belief that we should remain indifferent to things outside our control.
Stoics understand that life is filled with unpredictable events and circumstances. They differentiate between what they can control (their reactions, thoughts, and actions) and what they can’t (the actions of others, external events).
They strive to maintain their composure and not let external events dictate their emotions or peace of mind. This doesn’t mean they don’t care about what happens around them; rather, they choose not to let these events upset their inner tranquility.
For instance, if someone treats you poorly, you can’t control their actions, but you can control how you respond.
By developing this indifference towards external events, stoics are able to remain unflappable in the face of adversity. It’s a powerful mental tool that can help you stay calm and composed, no matter what life throws your way.
6) Practice forgiveness and understanding
At the heart of stoicism lies a deep sense of understanding and forgiveness. Stoics believe in the power of empathy and the importance of forgiving not just others, but also oneself.
Life is full of setbacks and disappointments. People may hurt us, intentionally or unintentionally. However, holding onto resentment or anger does more harm to us than to anyone else.
Stoics understand this. They choose to forgive and let go, not because it excuses the other person’s actions, but because it frees them from the burden of negativity.
This doesn’t mean allowing others to walk all over you. It’s about understanding that people are human and make mistakes. It’s about giving people a chance to make things right.
Similarly, stoics understand that we too are bound to err at times. They believe in forgiving themselves and learning from their mistakes rather than dwelling on them.
Inculcating forgiveness and understanding in your life can bring about a profound sense of peace and tranquility. It can help you remain unflappable amidst the storms of life, radiating calmness and strength.
7) Seek wisdom through continuous learning
I’ve always believed in the power of continuous learning. It’s been a cornerstone of my personal journey towards embracing stoicism.
There was a time when I thought I had everything figured out. But life has a way of humbling us. I faced a series of challenges that made me realize how little I actually knew. This realization was tough, but it was also enlightening.
Stoics view every experience, good or bad, as an opportunity to learn and grow. They understand that wisdom isn’t a destination, but a lifelong journey.
This shift in perspective can help you stay unflappable in the face of adversity. When you view challenges as learning opportunities, they lose their power to upset you.
So whether it’s picking up a new book, seeking advice from someone you admire, or simply being open to new experiences, never stop learning. Wisdom is a powerful ally in your quest for an unshakable spirit.
8) Embrace simplicity
Stoicism teaches the value of simplicity. It encourages us to strip away the unnecessary, to focus on what truly matters.
In today’s fast-paced, consumer-driven society, it’s easy to get caught up in the constant desire for more – more money, more possessions, more success. But stoics understand that these things often lead to more stress and less happiness.
They recognize that a simple life, free from unnecessary wants and distractions, can bring a deeper sense of fulfillment and peace.
This doesn’t mean you have to give up everything and live like a hermit. It’s about understanding what truly brings you joy and satisfaction and focusing on that.
Embracing simplicity can help you remain unflappable amidst the chaos of modern life. It paves the way for a tranquil mind and a content heart.
9) Cultivate inner strength
The essence of stoicism, the ultimate key to being unflappable, lies in cultivating inner strength.
This isn’t about physical strength or power. It’s about mental and emotional resilience. It’s about having the courage to face life’s challenges head-on, the wisdom to learn from each experience, and the humility to accept what we cannot change.
Inner strength is not given; it’s cultivated. It’s born from adversity, nurtured through persistence, and maintained through continuous growth and learning.
Cultivate this inner strength, and you’ll find that no matter what life throws your way, you’ll remain standing. You’ll remain unflappable.
Summing up: The power of perspective
The journey to becoming unflappable isn’t about suppressing emotions or becoming indifferent to the world around us. It’s about cultivating a mindset, a perspective that sees life in a different light.
Stoicism teaches us to focus on what we can control and to let go of what we can’t. It encourages us to value virtue, embrace simplicity, and learn from every experience.
The renowned stoic philosopher Epictetus once said, “It’s not things that upset us, but our judgment about things.” This quote encapsulates the essence of stoicism and the art of being unflappable.
By changing our perspective, by adjusting our lens through which we view the world, we can transform our lives. We can find peace amidst chaos, strength amidst adversity, and tranquility amidst turmoil.
Remember, the power to remain unflappable lies within you. It’s a journey of self-discovery, of personal growth. And the path to this invincible tranquility begins with a single step: a shift in perspective.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
