In life, it’s easy to get caught up in things that seem super important but might not really matter in the long run.
Stoicism, an ancient philosophy, helps us focus on what truly counts by reminding us to let go of things that don’t.
Here are eight things that Stoics believe don’t actually matter in the long run.
Let’s take a look at these things and see how letting go of them can lead to a happier and more peaceful life!
1) Wealth and status
A common belief is that wealth and status equate to happiness.
We work tirelessly, often at the expense of our health and relationships, to climb up the ladder.
Stoicism, however, challenges this belief. The Stoics argued that wealth and status are external things that we don’t have full control over.
Therefore, they shouldn’t dictate our happiness or self-worth.
Sure, it’s great to have a plush bank account and a prestigious job title.
But in the grand scheme of things, they’re not what truly matters.
Your character, your actions, your virtue – these are the things that define you according to Stoicism.
So, instead of stressing about that promotion or that luxury car, focus on being a better person.
That’s what will endure in the long run.
2) The need for approval
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve spent a significant chunk of my life seeking validation from others.
Every Instagram post, every work presentation, even every conversation – I was always looking for that nod of approval, that sign of acceptance.
Stoicism taught me a different perspective.
It reminded me that the need for approval is, in essence, handing over control of your happiness to others.
You become a puppet on the strings of other people’s opinions.
Stoics believe that the only approval you should seek is from yourself. Are you acting in line with your values?
Are you treating others with kindness and respect?
These are the questions that truly matter.
So, now I focus less on what others think and more on what I believe is right. And let me tell you – it’s liberating.
3) Failure
In the landscape of Silicon Valley, there’s a phrase tossed around quite frequently: “Fail fast, fail often.” It’s a nod to the belief that failure is not an end, but rather a stepping stone to success.
This concept is not entirely new. Stoicism has long embraced the idea of failure as a part of life’s journey.
Stoics believe that failures are opportunities to learn, grow, and become stronger.
The famous Stoic philosopher Seneca once said, “A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.”
This perspective on failure encourages resilience and perseverance in the face of adversity.
The next time you stumble and fall, remember – it’s not a setback; it’s a setup for a comeback.
4) The past and the future
We often find ourselves either dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. But, according to Stoicism, both are futile exercises.
The past is behind us; we can’t change it. The future is uncertain; we can’t predict it. All we truly have control over is the present moment.
Stoics advocate for living in the here and now.
By focusing on the present, we’re able to fully engage with our lives and make the most of each moment.
Instead of regretting past actions or fearing future events, channel your energy into making your present meaningful.
You’ll find more peace and satisfaction this way.
5) The desire to be liked by everyone
From a very young age, many of us are conditioned to seek love and acceptance from those around us. We crave to be liked, to fit in. We fear rejection and isolation.
However, Stoicism presents a different view. It teaches that it’s okay not to be liked by everyone as long as you are true to yourself.
Your worth is not determined by how many people like you, but by your actions, your values, and your character.
There’s a certain freedom in not needing everyone’s approval. It allows you to live authentically, unburdened by the need to please.
6) Fear of the unknown
There was a time in my life when uncertainty would paralyze me. I would worry about all the ‘what ifs’ and the potential worst-case scenarios. It was exhausting.
Stoicism, however, offers a refreshing perspective on the unknown.
It teaches us to accept uncertainty as a fundamental part of life, rather than fear it.
Stoics believe we can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we respond.
By focusing on our response, we can navigate through uncertainty with grace and resilience.
Now, I still feel a flutter of anxiety when faced with the unknown.
But I’ve learned to see it as an opportunity for growth and exploration rather than a source of fear.
And that shift in mindset has made all the difference.
7) Holding grudges
Holding on to anger and resentment can feel like carrying a heavy load on your shoulders. It weighs you down, holds you back, and robs you of joy.
Stoicism teaches us the power of forgiveness. Stoics believe that holding grudges only harms the one who refuses to let go, not the one who wronged them.
Forgiveness is not about excusing someone’s actions or forgetting what they did.
Rather, it’s about freeing yourself from the burden of bitterness and moving forward.
By letting go of grudges, you can reclaim your peace of mind and open up space for positivity in your life.
It’s a liberating and empowering act that leads to a more fulfilling life in the long run.
8) Comparing yourself to others
We live in a world that thrives on comparison. Social media, in particular, makes it easy to compare our lives with those of others.
But this is a trap that can lead to discontent and unhappiness.
Stoicism teaches us to focus on our own journey.
Stoics believe that each of us has a unique path in life, and comparing ourselves to others only distracts us from our own growth.
Your worth is not determined by how you stack up against others, but by your own values, actions, and personal growth.
So focus on being the best version of yourself, not a second-rate version of someone else.
Final thoughts: Embracing the stoic perspective
At its core, Stoicism invites us to focus on what is within our control and let go of what is not.
It encourages us to define our self-worth by our character and actions, rather than external factors like wealth and approval from others.
Marcus Aurelius, one of the most famous Stoic philosophers, once said, “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
This wisdom is as relevant today as it was all those centuries ago.
By embracing this perspective, we open ourselves to a more peaceful and fulfilling existence.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
