Stoicism isn’t just a philosophy. It’s a way of life. And adopting a stoic mindset means letting go of certain habits and attitudes.
You see, Stoicism isn’t about suppressing emotions, but rather understanding and managing them to lead a more content life.
It’s about the wisdom of knowing what you can control and what you cannot.
To truly embrace this philosophy, there are nine things that you might need to let go of.
Let’s delve into these nine and see how they can shift your perspective towards a more serene and resilient life.
1) Worrying about things beyond your control
The Stoic way of life revolves heavily around understanding and accepting what’s within your control and what isn’t.
We often stress ourselves out about things we have no control over. Whether it’s the weather, traffic, or the words and actions of other people, there are countless factors in life that are simply out of our hands.
In Stoicism, these are considered “externals” – things that we can’t change, regardless of how much we might want to. And according to the Stoics, worrying about these externals is a pointless exercise.
So the first thing you need to let go of is this habit of worrying over things beyond your control. It’s not easy, and it might take time, but the peace you’ll find when you stop trying to control the uncontrollable is immeasurable.
This doesn’t mean ignoring these issues or pretending they don’t exist. It means acknowledging them, accepting you can’t change them, and focusing your energy instead on what you can affect: your own thoughts and actions.
2) Holding onto past regrets
As someone who’s learning to adopt the Stoic way of life, let me share a personal struggle of mine: dwelling on past mistakes.
I used to spend hours ruminating on what I could have done differently. Whether it was a missed opportunity, a poorly handled conversation, or an ill-advised decision, I found it incredibly hard to let go. The guilt and regret were almost paralyzing.
But as I delved further into Stoicism, I realized that holding onto these past regrets was doing nothing but causing me unnecessary anguish.
Just like worrying about things beyond my control, regretting past actions was equally pointless because the past is another thing I can’t change.
The Stoic way encourages us to learn from our mistakes and move on, not dwell on them. It’s about understanding that we did what we thought was best at the time, given our level of knowledge and understanding then.
So if you’re like me and have a habit of beating yourself up over past mistakes, know that it’s something you’ll need to let go of to truly embrace Stoicism.
Easier said than done, I know. But trust me, the freedom that comes with releasing past regrets is truly liberating.
3) Desiring material possessions
The Stoics were big advocates of simplicity and minimalism long before these concepts became modern day trends. They believed that happiness and tranquility come not from accumulating material possessions, but from cultivating virtue and wisdom.
Epictetus, a well-known Stoic philosopher, was born a slave and remained poor throughout his life.
Yet, he is remembered as one of the most content and wise philosophers of his time. His teachings highlight that true wealth lies not in having many possessions, but in having few wants.
If you’re constantly chasing after the latest gadgets, fashion trends or luxury items, adopting a Stoic mindset may require a shift in perspective.
4) Fear of change
Change is a natural part of life. Seasons change, people change, circumstances change. Yet, many of us resist it, fearing the unknown and clinging to what’s familiar.
Stoic philosophy encourages us to not only accept change, but also embrace it. Stoics believe that everything happens in accordance with nature and the universe’s plan.
Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and stoic philosopher, famously wrote, “The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.”
Instead of seeing change as a threat, view it as an opportunity for growth and learning. After all, without change, there can be no progress.
5) Seeking approval from others
In our social media-driven world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of seeking validation and approval from others.
But Stoicism teaches us that the only approval we should be concerned with is our own. The Stoics believed in living according to one’s own principles and values, not those of the crowd.
They taught that we should be indifferent to praise or criticism from others, as these are external factors beyond our control.
Strive to be someone you can be proud of. Your opinion of yourself holds more weight than anyone else’s.
It’s your life. Live it on your terms.
6) Negativity and self-doubt
We all have moments when we’re our own worst critics, when we let our inner voice tell us we’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough.
In my journey towards Stoicism, I’ve found that letting go of negativity and self-doubt is one of the most challenging, yet rewarding steps.
Learn to be kinder to yourself, to treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding you’d extend to a loved one.
The Stoics believed in the power of the mind and the importance of maintaining a positive outlook. They taught that our thoughts determine our reality.
You’re stronger than you think, more capable than you believe, and worthy of all good things life has to offer.
7) Expectation of perfection
I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I used to believe that to be successful, I needed to be perfect in every aspect of my life. This pressure I put on myself was immense.
Stoicism, however, teaches us to let go of this expectation of perfection. It reminds us that we are human and that making mistakes is a part of our growth and learning process.
It’s not about lowering standards or settling for less, but about understanding that perfection is an unrealistic goal.
It’s about striving for excellence, not perfection, and being patient with ourselves when we fall short.
It’s okay to be imperfect. What matters is that we learn from our experiences and continue moving forward.
8) Resisting discomfort
When faced with discomfort, our natural instinct is to avoid it. But what if we changed our perspective and saw discomfort as an opportunity for growth?
Stoic philosophy encourages us to face discomfort head-on, not shy away from it.
This could mean physical discomfort, such as pushing ourselves during a workout, or mental discomfort, like having a difficult conversation.
The Stoics believed in the power of endurance and resilience. They saw value in testing one’s limits and pushing through difficult situations.
So if you’re used to avoiding discomfort at all costs, try embracing it instead. View it as a stepping-stone towards personal growth and resilience. Remember, it’s through challenges that we become stronger.
9) Attachment to outcomes
In our goal-oriented society, it’s easy to become fixated on outcomes. But Stoicism teaches us to focus on the process rather than the end result.
It’s about doing the right thing, regardless of the outcome. It’s about understanding that we can control our actions and attitudes, but we can’t control the results.
Do your best, let go of the rest. Not every effort will result in success, and that’s okay. The real victory lies in knowing you gave it your all.
Embracing the Stoic journey
The path to Stoicism is not a destination, but a journey. A journey of constant learning, unlearning, and relearning.
Remember the words of the Stoic philosopher Seneca: “As long as you live, keep learning how to live.”
It’s about understanding that it’s okay not to have all the answers. It’s okay to be a work in progress. It’s okay to let go.
Whether you’re letting go of external worries, past regrets, material desires, fear of change, need for approval, self-doubt, expectations of perfection, resistance to discomfort or attachment to outcomes – each step you take brings you closer to the tranquility and resilience that Stoicism offers.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
