7 things real Stoics never waste their time on

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to navigate life’s challenges with ease while others struggle to find their footing? What if the secret to a more fulfilling life lies not in what we do but in what we avoid?

Today, we explore the timeless wisdom of Stoic philosophy and uncover seven habits that can drain your time, energy, and happiness.

By understanding and letting go of these habits, you can start living a life that’s not only more productive but also more peaceful and centered.

1) Dwelling on the past

“Each of us lives only in the present, this brief moment; the rest is either a life that is past or is an uncertain future” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

Don’t get me wrong. There’s value in learning from our past mistakes and successes. But real Stoics understand that there’s a fine line between learning from the past and obsessing over it.

Think about it.

You can’t change what has already happened, right? So why waste precious time wallowing in regret or basking in old glory?

Real Stoics prefer to live in the present, fully aware that this moment – right here, right now – is all we truly have. So, they make the most of it, focusing their time and energy on what they can influence: their actions and attitudes today.

Next time you find yourself dwelling on the past, ask yourself: “Is this a productive use of my time?”

If not, it might be time to channel your inner Stoic and shift your focus to the present.

2) Worrying about the future

I’ll be honest, I used to be a chronic worrier.

Whether it was an upcoming presentation at work, or how I was going to pay off my student loans, or simply what I was going to cook for dinner – my mind was always fixated on the future.

Then, I stumbled upon Stoicism.

Real Stoics, I learned, don’t waste their time fretting about the future. They understand that, just like the past, the future is beyond our direct control.

Sure, we can plan and prepare to some extent. But let’s face it, life has a way of throwing curveballs at us.

Instead of worrying about what might happen, Stoics focus on dealing with what is happening right now. They strive to make the best possible decisions with the information they have at hand.

Adopting this stoic approach has been a game-changer for me. Now, instead of getting bogged down by ‘what-ifs’, I channel my energy into making the present moment count.

And let me tell you, it’s liberating!

3) Obsessing over material goods

We live in a world where success is often measured by the size of our house, the brand of our clothes, or the latest gadgets we own. It’s easy to get caught up in the race for more, more, more.

But real Stoics see through this illusion.

As Seneca wisely noted, “If nothing will serve a man but rich clothes and furniture, statues and plate, a numerous train of servants, and the rarities of all nations, it is not Fortune’s fault, but his own, that he is not satisfied: for his desires are insatiable, and this is not a thirst, but a disease; and if he were master of the whole world, he would be still a beggar.” (Seneca’s Morals, 1882)

What Seneca is telling us is that the pursuit of material goods is a never-ending cycle. No matter how much we acquire, it will never be enough. Our desires will always outpace our possessions, leaving us in a constant state of dissatisfaction.

Real Stoics understand that true contentment comes from within, not from external possessions. They focus on cultivating virtues such as wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance. These are the things that bring lasting happiness and fulfillment, not the latest car or the most expensive watch.

So the next time you find yourself obsessing over material goods, ask yourself: “Is this really going to make me happy?” I

f the answer is no, it might be time to reassess your priorities and focus on what truly matters. Embrace the Stoic mindset and strive for inner richness rather than outer wealth.

4) Seeking validation

“How great a rest from labour he gains who does not look to what his neighbour says or does or thinks but only what himeslf is doing” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

Picture this: You’ve just bought a stylish new outfit. You feel good, you look good, and you can’t wait to show it off. But then, you post a photo on social media, and the likes don’t pour in as expected.

Suddenly, that outfit doesn’t seem so great anymore.

Sound familiar?

We’ve all been there – seeking validation from others. It’s human nature to want to be liked and accepted. But here’s the kicker – real Stoics don’t waste their time on this.

Why? Because they know that self-worth can’t be measured by likes, shares, or compliments. It’s not about what others think of them, but what they think of themselves.

They understand that chasing validation is like running on a treadmill – no matter how fast you run, you’re always in the same place.

So instead, they focus on self-improvement and personal growth. They strive to be better than they were yesterday, not better than someone else today.

It’s not easy, but it’s worthwhile. Because at the end of the day, the only validation that truly matters is the one that comes from within.

5) Engaging in gossip

We’ve all heard it, and let’s be honest, we’ve all participated in it at some point. Gossip.

It’s a prevalent part of our social culture. A quick chat about someone’s latest escapade or a hushed whisper about someone’s misfortune – it’s all too common. But real Stoics steer clear of this.

Why? Because they see it as a colossal waste of time.

Gossip is often misleading, negative, and above all, unproductive. It fosters a climate of distrust and feeds our insecurities.

Real Stoics value their time too much to squander it on such trivial matters. They understand that everyone has their own journey and challenges. Instead of discussing others’ lives, they focus on their own actions and character.

6) Trying to please everyone

This might be the ultimate truth that real Stoics live by: You can’t please everyone.

No matter what you do or how hard you try, there will always be someone who disagrees, who doesn’t like what you’ve done, or who thinks they could have done it better.

Real Stoics don’t waste their time trying to please everyone.

They understand that it’s not only impossible but also exhausting. Instead, they focus on what they believe is right and strive to act according to their principles.

They know that at the end of the day, the one person they need to please is themselves – not in a selfish way, but in a way that aligns with their values and integrity.

So remember this Stoic principle next time you find yourself bending over backwards trying to please everyone. It’s okay to prioritize your own peace of mind and integrity. After all, those are things real Stoics never compromise on.

7) The weather, the economy, the outcome of events beyond our influence…

One of the core tenets of Stoic philosophy is the distinction between what we can control and what we cannot. Real Stoics understand that fixating on uncontrollable externals is a recipe for frustration and unhappiness.

Think about it. How often do we stress over things like the weather, the economy, or the outcome of events beyond our influence?

These are all examples of uncontrollable externals. The Stoic approach teaches us to accept these things as they are and focus instead on our responses to them.

By letting go of the need to control everything around us, we free ourselves from unnecessary stress and anxiety. Real Stoics invest their energy in what they can influence: their own behavior and mindset. They practice acceptance and resilience, knowing that while they can’t change the external world, they can always choose how they respond to it.