Have you ever felt like happiness is always just around the corner, waiting for you to grab it, if only you had that next big thing—be it a car, job, or vacation?
It’s a common trap: the relentless pursuit of external pleasures to find satisfaction. But what if I told you that the secret to happiness might just lie in ancient wisdom, specifically Stoicism, a philosophy that has stood the test of time?
Stoicism teaches us that real happiness isn’t about having more; it’s about desiring less. It’s about controlling what we can and letting go of what we can’t, focusing on inner strength and self-mastery.
This might sound tough, but consider this could well be the more straightforward path to a fulfilling life.
Let’s dive into how adopting a Stoic mindset can help us achieve lasting happiness, no matter what life throws our way.
01 Limit Insatiable Desires
“your body take just so much as your bare need requires, such as food, drink, clothing, house, servants, but cut down all that tends to luxury and outward show” – Epictetus (The Discourses of Epictetus 1916)
In the bustling rush of modern life, it’s easy to equate wealth with an abundance of possessions or a hefty bank balance.
However, Stoicism flips this notion on its head. According to Epictetus, true wealth isn’t about accumulating more; it’s about needing less.
Contentment, a fundamental Stoic value, is considered the real richness because it frees you from the endless cycle of desire and dissatisfaction. This perspective shifts the focus from external accumulation to internal fulfillment.
Application: To cultivate this rich sense of contentment in your own life, start with these practical strategies:
Practice gratitude: Each day, take a moment to reflect on what you already have, not what you lack. This could be as simple as writing down three things you’re grateful for every morning or evening.
Set limits on consumption: Whether it’s shopping, social media, or any form of consumption, set clear boundaries. Decide on a limit beforehand—how much you will buy, use, or consume. This helps prevent impulse decisions and keeps your desires in check.
Simplify your surroundings: Declutter your living and working spaces. This physical act often helps in reducing mental clutter as well, leading to greater peace of mind and contentment.
Reflect on your desires: Regularly ask yourself whether your desires are necessary for your happiness or if they’re just adding noise to your life. This can help you make more conscious choices that align with your core values rather than fleeting impulses.
By implementing these strategies, you can start to shift away from perpetual wanting to a more contented, stoic approach to life. This doesn’t just change how you feel; it fundamentally alters your pursuit of happiness to something more sustainable and within reach.
02 Live with Integrity
“Whatever any one may do or say, I am bound to be good” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Stoicism teaches that enduring hardship for the sake of what is right is far more valuable than living comfortably without principles.
This view emphasizes that our self-respect and how we treat others are crucial measures of our true wealth.
Living with integrity brings a deeper, more enduring satisfaction than any material possession could. It’s about aligning your actions with your values, regardless of the external consequences.
Application: To cultivate a life of integrity, consider the following steps:
Reflect on your values: Spend time identifying what truly matters to you. What principles do you want to guide your life? This could involve journaling or meditative practices that help clarify your core values.
Make decisions based on values, not outcomes: When faced with a decision, choose the option that aligns with your values, even if it might lead to short-term hardship or less material gain. This practice builds character and inner strength.
Practice honesty in all interactions: Whether it’s with family, friends, or colleagues, strive to be honest and transparent. This builds trust and respect, which are more valuable than any material asset.
Accept the consequences of living with integrity: Sometimes, living according to your principles can lead to challenges or losses. Accept these as part of a meaningful life. The respect you maintain for yourself, and the respect others have for you, will be your reward.
By prioritizing integrity in your daily life, you’re not just living authentically; you’re embodying the Stoic ideal that inner peace and self-respect are the highest forms of wealth.
03 Enjoy the here and now
“A man could lose neither past nor future; how can one rob him of what he has not got?” Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Stoicism emphasizes the importance of living in the present moment.
This involves appreciating what we currently have and not allowing our happiness to be contingent upon future events, which are uncertain and beyond our control.
By focusing on the present, we can savor life’s experiences as they occur, rather than postponing our happiness in anticipation of future possibilities.
This mindset encourages a fuller engagement with life, leading to deeper satisfaction and contentment.
Application: To enhance your ability to enjoy the present moment, try incorporating these practices into your daily life:
Mindfulness meditation: Engage in mindfulness exercises that focus on the breath or sensory experiences. This helps anchor you in the present moment, reducing preoccupations with the past or future.
Set aside time for reflection: Dedicate a few minutes each day to simply sit and observe your surroundings without judgment. This can increase your awareness and appreciation of the present.
Practice single-tasking: Instead of multitasking, focus on one task at a time. This enhances your concentration and allows you to derive more enjoyment from the task at hand.
Savor small pleasures: Take time to truly appreciate the small joys in life, whether it’s a delicious meal, the comfort of a warm bed, or a conversation with a friend. By paying attention to these details, you enrich your everyday experiences.
By cultivating a practice of enjoying the present moment, you align with Stoic principles of appreciating life as it unfolds. This not only reduces anxiety about the future but also fosters a deeper, more genuine happiness rooted in current experiences.
04 Welcome Life As It Comes
“Ask not that events should happen as you will, but let your will be that events should happen as they do, and you shall have peace.” – Epictetus (The Discourses of Epictetus ,1916)
One of the foundational teachings of Stoicism is the acceptance of events as they occur, rather than resisting them or wishing they were different.
This mindset encourages us to embrace life’s unpredictability with equanimity and grace.
By relinquishing the need to control outcomes, we can find inner peace regardless of the circumstances. This approach helps us deal with life’s challenges more effectively, reducing anxiety and frustration about things we cannot change.
Application: To practice welcoming life as it comes, consider these strategies:
Cultivate flexibility: Rather than rigidly sticking to your plans or desires, learn to adapt to changing circumstances. This can be practiced through small daily challenges, like changing your routine spontaneously or adapting to unexpected changes at work or home.
Engage in mindfulness meditation: Mindfulness helps you to stay present and accept each moment without judgment. This can be particularly useful in learning to accept things beyond your control.
By welcoming life as it happens, you not only enhance your peace of mind but also empower yourself to respond to any situation with composure and resilience, embodying the Stoic ideal of inner tranquility amidst external chaos.
05 Practice Self-Control
06 Don't Fall into the Trap of External Validation
“When you have adopted the simple life, do not pride yourself upon it, and if you are a water-drinker do not say on every occasion, ‘I am a water-drinker.’ And if you ever want to train laboriously, keep it to yourself and do not make a show of it.” – Epictetus (The Discourses of Epictetus, 1916)
Relying on others’ approval, material success, or social status for happiness can lead to a fragile sense of self-worth, as these factors are often volatile and out of our control.
True freedom and contentment come from an inner sense of validation and being at peace with oneself, irrespective of external circumstances. By focusing on internal validation, we become more resilient and independent.
Application: Here are several ways to avoid the trap of external validation and cultivate self-mastery:
Strengthen your inner dialogue: Foster a supportive and encouraging inner voice. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself of your intrinsic worth, regardless of external achievements or recognition.
Set personal goals: Define success on your own terms rather than society’s expectations. Set goals that resonate with your values and provide personal fulfillment.
Limit social media consumption: Social media can significantly impact our reliance on external validation. Be mindful of the time spent on these platforms and focus on real-world interactions and achievements.
Practice self-reliance: Develop skills and hobbies that allow you to enjoy your own company and rely less on others for entertainment or happiness. This could involve learning something new, pursuing a creative project, or simply spending time in nature.
Reflect on your achievements: Regularly reflect on your personal achievements and growth, not just those that are externally recognized. Acknowledge and celebrate these regardless of external applause.
By focusing on what truly matters to you and not what you think should matter based on societal standards, you create a more stable and enduring foundation for happiness. This self-reliance not only aligns with Stoic teachings but also promotes a healthier, more satisfying life.
07 Focus on what you can control
“External things are not in my power, my will is my own. Where am I to seek what is good and what is evil? Within me” – Epictetus (The Discourses of Epictetus, 1916)
Last but not least, a central tenet of Stoicism is the distinction between what we can control and what we cannot.
By focusing on our own behavior and responses, we can maintain our tranquility and effectiveness, regardless of external circumstances.
This perspective helps reduce unnecessary stress and anxiety by directing our energy towards productive and controllable aspects of our life.
Application: Implementing this Stoic principle involves several practical steps:
Identify your sphere of control: Regularly take time to distinguish between what is within your control and what isn’t. This can involve reflecting on daily events and recognizing your reactions as your responsibility.
Develop proactive responses: Instead of reacting passively to life’s challenges, focus on developing proactive strategies that reflect your values and goals. This could be as simple as planning how to respond to common stressors or setting personal development goals.
Practice decision-making: Enhance your ability to make decisions based on what you can influence. When faced with a problem, ask yourself, “Is this something I can control?” If it is, decide what action to take; if it isn’t, practice letting go.
By concentrating on the areas of life that you can influence, you not only make more effective use of your time and energy but also increase your sense of agency and peace. This Stoic practice empowers you to build a life aligned with your deepest values and aspirations, insulated against the unpredictability of external events.
08 Give Thanks
“Do not think of what are absent as though they were not existing, but ponder on the most fortunate of what you have got, and on account of them remind yourself how they would have been missed, if they had not been here.” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)
Gratitude is a cornerstone of Stoic philosophy, emphasizing the importance of appreciating what we have rather than lamenting what we lack. Stoics encourage us to focus on the abundance present in our lives, fostering a sense of contentment and resilience.
By actively practicing gratitude, we can counteract the human tendency to always seek more, thus enhancing our overall happiness and satisfaction.
Application: Here are practical ways to cultivate a grateful mindset:
Daily gratitude journaling: Begin or end your day by writing down three to five things you are grateful for. This could be as simple as appreciating a good meal, a supportive friend, or even the mere opportunity to experience another day.
Gratitude reminders: Set up specific cues throughout your day that prompt you to stop and appreciate the moment. This could be when you first sit at your desk, before you start your car, or while you’re waiting for your coffee to brew.
Mindfulness of small joys: Pay close attention to the small pleasures in life—the warmth of sunlight on your skin, the comfort of a cozy blanket, the aroma of a favorite food. Recognizing these tiny joys can significantly boost your mood and appreciation for everyday life.
By integrating these practices into your routine, you not only uphold the Stoic ideal of valuing what you have but also create a more joyous and fulfilling life. Gratitude shifts your focus from scarcity to abundance, which is essential for developing a deep, enduring happiness.
Final thoughts
I hope you found this post valuable and that it has provided you with practical insights into how Stoicism can guide you towards a happier, more fulfilled life.
If you’re interested in delving deeper into the Stoic way of life and discovering more about how these timeless principles can be integrated into your daily routines, I encourage you to sign up for our Stoic email newsletter.
By subscribing, you’ll receive regular insights, tips, and reflections right to your inbox, helping you stay committed to your journey of personal growth and Stoic practice.
Until next time, stay Stoic.
What would Marcus Aurelius say?
Unsure what to do next in your career? Struggling to move on from a failed relationship? Searching for more meaning in life?
Marcus Aurelius can tell you how to face your challenges in a more Stoic way.
Simply ask your question, and Marcus Aurelius will answer.
