5 small stoic habits that instantly make you a better communicator

Ever wondered how some people effortlessly navigate conversations, making them seem almost magical?

Well, Stoicism can actually help you to become one of these people.

Today, we dive into five small Stoic habits that can instantly transform your communication skills.

How many do you practice already?

Let’s find out.

Habit 1: Striving to Understand Others’ Motives

“When a man offends against you, think at once what conception of good or ill it was which made him offend. And seeing this, you will pity him, and feel neither surprise nor anger.” – Marcus Aurelius ((The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

This profound advice from Marcus Aurelius invites us to look beyond the surface of people’s actions and delve into their underlying motives.

In our interactions, it’s easy to react with anger or frustration when someone behaves in a way that we find offensive or upsetting. However, Stoic philosophy teaches us to pause and reflect on what might be motivating the other person.

Understanding others’ motives is about recognizing that everyone is driven by their own perceptions. When someone acts in a way that hurts or offends us, it’s often due to their own fears, insecurities, or misunderstandings.

By considering these underlying factors, we can cultivate compassion instead of reacting with immediate anger.

Practically, this means taking a moment to think before responding in any conflict or disagreement. Ask yourself: What might be causing this person to act this way? What are they trying to achieve or protect?

Habit 2: Reacting with Logic, Rather Than Emotion

So, let’s say someone cuts you off in traffic. Your immediate reaction might be anger or frustration, but is it really the event itself that’s upsetting you, or your interpretation of it?

Epictetus, a Stoic philosopher, reminds us that it’s not the external events themselves that cause us distress, but rather our judgments and interpretations of those events.

“What distresses him is not the event, for that does not distress another, but his judgement on the event.” – Epictetus (The Discourses of Epictetus 1916)

When we react emotionally, we allow our judgments to cloud our rational thinking, often leading to unnecessary stress and conflict.

Reacting with logic instead of emotion involves taking a step back and assessing the situation objectively.

For example, when faced with a frustrating situation at work, instead of immediately reacting with anger or frustration, take a moment to analyze the situation logically. What caused the issue? Is there a constructive way to address it?

This logical approach helps you maintain composure and find solutions, rather than exacerbating the problem with emotional reactions.

Habit 3: Seeing People as Part of the Same Team

When you think about your daily interactions, do you see others as collaborators or competitors?

Marcus Aurelius  tells us:

“What does not benefit the hive is not benefit to the bee.” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

This s highlights the Stoic view of interconnectedness. Just as a bee’s well-being is tied to the hive’s health, our individual success and happiness are linked to the well-being of the people around us. Seeing others as part of the same team can transform your approach to communication and collaboration.

In any group setting—whether at work, in your community, or even within your family—consider how your actions and words impact the collective. When we approach interactions with the mindset that we’re all part of the same team, we foster a sense of unity and purpose.