8 harsh realities you need to accept to live a peaceful life

“Ask not that events should happen as you will, but let your will be that events should happen as they do, and you shall have peace.” – Epictetus (The Discourses of Epictetus ,1916)

Some things in life just suck; there’s no getting around it. But the sooner we accept these things, the sooner we can move forward.

Today, we get into 8 such realities.

Admittedly, they’re to swallow. But accepting them has brought a sense of peace into my life that was absent before.

Could they do the same for you?

Let’s delve into it.

1) Life isn’t always fair

One of the toughest realities I’ve had to grapple with is that life isn’t always fair.

As children, we are often taught that good will always triumph over evil and that hard work will always pay off. But as we grow up, it becomes evident that this isn’t always the case.

The stark truth is that sometimes, despite our best efforts, things don’t pan out. People we deem undeserving might achieve what we’ve been striving for, while our hard work seems to yield no fruit.

This realization isn’t easy to accept. But acknowledging this harsh reality has been crucial for my peace of mind.

It has taught me to focus on what I can control – my actions, my responses, and my perspective. It’s shifted my focus from ‘fairness’ to personal growth and acceptance.

This acceptance doesn’t mean complacency or surrender, but rather a peaceful acknowledgement of life’s unpredictability and an emphasis on resilience.

Peace lies not in the absence of injustice but in our response to it. Accepting this reality is a significant step towards living a more peaceful life.

2) Your life will be imperfect

We live in a world that often magnifies our flaws and compares us to unrealistic standards. It’s easy to get caught up in this whirlwind of self-doubt and criticism.

However, acknowledging our imperfections doesn’t mean resigning to them. Instead, it means accepting them as part of our growth journey, understanding that we are works in progress.

The truth is we all are flawed. And that’s okay.

Even Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius was imperfect. As he wrote in his journal to himself:

“Don’t be disgusted, don’t give up, don’t be impatient if you do not carry out entirely conduct based in every detail upon right principles; but after a fall return again” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

Accepting imperfections has brought an immense sense of peace into my life. It’s allowed me to step off the exhausting treadmill of perfectionism and instead embrace the process of continuous learning and self-improvement.

It might do the same for you.

3) You can’t please everyone

“How great a rest from labour he gains who does not look to what his neighbour says or does or thinks but only what himeslf is doing” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

As a natural people-pleaser, I used to stretch myself thin trying to accommodate everyone’s needs and expectations, often at my own expense.

This realization didn’t come overnight, but gradually, I understood that constantly seeking approval from others left me feeling drained and less peaceful.

This does not mean disregarding the feelings or needs of others. It’s about striking a balance between being considerate and valuing your own peace of mind.

Understanding that you can’t please everyone liberates you from the exhausting cycle of constantly seeking external validation.

The truth is, in trying to please everyone, you often end up pleasing no one, least of all yourself.

Accepting this reality has been an essential step towards cultivating inner peace and contentment in my life.

True peace stems from within, not from external validation.

4) Change is inevitable

“There is a kind of river of things passing into being, and Time is a violent torrent. For no sooner is each seen, than it has been carried away and another is being carried by, and that, too, will be carried away.” – Marcus Aurelius (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

The idea that everything I know and am comfortable with can shift in a moment used to fill me with dread. But over time, I realized that resisting change only led to stress and anxiety.

Accepting the inevitability of change doesn’t mean you have to like it. It means acknowledging that it’s a part of life and learning to adapt accordingly.

This understanding has been transformative for me. Rather than clinging to the familiar, I’ve learned to embrace the uncertainty that comes with change.

In fact, change often brings about growth and new opportunities that we couldn’t have foreseen.

5) You can’t control everything

Have you ever found yourself obsessing over circumstances beyond your control?

Of course, you have!

I certainly have, too. As a planner by nature, I often found myself trying to predict and prepare for every possible outcome.

The harsh reality, however, is that no matter how meticulously we plan, we can’t control everything. Life has a way of throwing curveballs that can disrupt even the most well-laid plans.

Accepting this reality was far from easy. It felt like surrendering control, something which did not sit comfortably with me.

However, through practicing Stoicism, I came to realize that acceptance isn’t about resignation; it’s about acknowledging reality and choosing how we respond to it.

We can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can control our reactions. This shift in perspective has brought an immense sense of calm into my life.

It might just do the same for you.

6) Mistakes are part of the journey

Picture this: You’ve planned meticulously, executed diligently, and yet, you stumble. You make a mistake. It feels like the end of the world, doesn’t it?

I’ve been there.

The fear of making mistakes used to paralyze me. I was so focused on doing everything perfectly that any error felt like a personal failure.

However, the harsh reality is that mistakes are part of the journey. We all make them. In fact, they’re often our greatest teachers.

Accepting that making mistakes is a natural part of life has brought me immense peace. It’s relieved me of the pressure to be perfect and allowed me to learn and grow at my own pace.

Now, instead of fearing mistakes, I view them as opportunities for growth and learning. This shift in perspective has not only brought peace but also fostered resilience and adaptability in me.

7) You are responsible for your own happiness

In a society that often attributes happiness to external factors, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that our happiness depends on others or our circumstances.

I’ve certainly been guilty of this, believing that my happiness was tied to achieving certain goals or receiving approval from others.

However, the truth is that it’s a lot about our thoughts and habits and those we have the power to change.

This does not mean that external factors do not influence our happiness. However, it’s about acknowledging that we have the power to choose our response, irrespective of the situation.

8) Life is short

It’s a cliché saying, but the reality is that life is indeed short.

The truth is, none of us know how much time we have left. This reality can seem grim, but it can also serve as a powerful motivator to live fully and authentically.

As Marcus Aurelius tells us, “We ought to take into account not only the fact that day by day life is being spent and a small balance remaining” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

Coming to terms with this has brought a profound sense of peace into my life.

It has led me to prioritize my values, cherish my relationships, and seize opportunities without hesitation.

Peace isn’t found in the future but in the present moment. Acknowledging this reality is an essential step towards living a more peaceful and meaningful life.